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Thread: My BF just came out to me as an AB/DL

  1. #1

    Default My BF just came out to me as an AB/DL

    Sooo I'm pretty new to all of this. My BF just came out and told me that he's into AB/DL. I'm kind of conflicted on the topic though. First off I am incredibly happy that he trusted me enough to tell me, but I really just don't know enough to know how to proceed.

    I've gotten diapered for him once and I enjoyed it because he enjoyed it, but he tells me that he's much more of a little than a Daddy, the only problem is I have no idea where to go from here.... I want to make him happy and I am willing to experiment and try new stuff out with him but like I said I have no idea how to be a Mommy.

    Especially since the more research I do the more confused I become. Please help, anyone that can further explain this to me or anyone who has came out to their vanilla gf's advice would be more than welcome.

  2. #2


    I would say accept him for who he is. Most ABs know they are that way from a young age and it is a core personality component. Ask him to show you and tell you what he wants. Let him go into AB mode while you observe without judgement. Then when you have learned a little more, I would suggest occasional surprises. Maybe if he's had a bad day at work (or heck maybe you want to make a great day perfect) you could have some of his things laid out waiting for him.

    Just my thoughts. My wife is quite vanilla but I'm able to fulfill my AB/DL needs.

  3. #3


    you could change his diapers for him when needed, bottle feed him, and cuddle him while you do so. you could also try some play time with some plushies. things like that i am sure he would really enjoy.

  4. #4


    well first off there is nothing wrong with being a adult baby or a diaper lover. if you and your BF do this because it makes you feel good then that's alright. it does no harm to either of you and in fact it seems like a healthy activity for you and your BF to be doing. i am no expert in these matters but chances are you will see some VERY soon. where you the one BEING diapered or the one DOING the diapering by the way?(this may become important later when a real expert shows up) you went to the right place for answers i can tell you that much so welcome to ADISC!

    - - - Updated - - -

    i was to slow typing this. that's why it was not the first post

  5. #5


    Ask him to tell you more about his interests and desires. This diaper thing is different for everyone. You need to know exactly what he wants and what he's into then see if you'd be open to trying any of those things.

  6. #6


    It would also help to know what age he considers himself to be and if it is sexual for him or not. A good conversation with my husband was really helpful. When he told me the things that he was interested in, I was able to participate in a way that he enjoyed. Research is really helpful in knowing the stages and where your significant other is at, but the rest is personal preference and varies from person to person. If he doesn't really know what he wants, but he knows that he wants to be an AB, you could take the opportunity to grow closer by exploring with him.

  7. #7


    Also good on you for not freaking out or running at the mention of diapers and doing a little research instead.

  8. #8


    ironically i JUST noticed a thread that might interest you on this forum under the heading "Community Write-An-Article: Explaining ABDL to non-ABDLs". i think you might get some useful answers there if your interested. the thread is on this page just look down and you will find it under mature topics forum.

  9. #9


    You are a great GF for him! My Ex said I should stop it, but I woulden't do that because it would be like taking a part of me away! You will find lots of great info here. Oh, and the supprise idea is great he would probobly love somthing like that!

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by rileysurfer View Post
    Ask him to tell you more about his interests and desires. This diaper thing is different for everyone. You need to know exactly what he wants and what he's into then see if you'd be open to trying any of those things.
    I agree with this. It does seem to be a little different for everyone. You and your BF need to have a long talk about it, and encourage him to open up while you listen with a really open mind. Be clear about your own boundaries - what stuff you will not do and what stuff bothers you, if anything, about it. Maybe you can start slow. Let him wear his diapers around you. Try changing him into his diapers if you're comfortable with that. Feed him a bottle if he's into that, or fill his sippy cup for him if he prefers those instead. Try smaller/shorter activities. But communication would be the biggest key to this. The articles are great for understanding some of the basics, but beyond that it's really individual. Find out what your little guy needs and wants from you as a caregiver.

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