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Thread: Are you easily pressured?

  1. #1

    Default Are you easily pressured?

    I hate pushy people and people who pressure you.

    I am easily pressured and I get mad about it and then at myself for not being strong enough. A stranger once pressured me to go to a store with him to help him look for shoes and all he wanted was my money so he took my wallet while I was right there but luckily he didn't get much from me.

    I have been pressured into having sex and I consider it rape.

    I was also pressured into being someone's mommy and then when I decided to stand up for myself and be strong and not weak, he accuses me of being dishonest but he was actually being manipulative. So I make a angry note in my fetlife profile saying "I do not play mommy, I do not role play. If you are looking for a mommy, go somewhere else. I will not be your mommy. Don't even pester me to help you find one. If you want one, go post a thread about it on here or on a AB/DL forum. I am also free to change my mind and not play anymore if I do decide to play and I have every right to say no. Do not even try and manipulate me or the situation, I save PMs and IMs so think you can lie? Guess again." This was aimed at two people I had a recent incidents with and I didn't want to run into anymore so I put this in my profile.

    It makes me angry people think if you say yes or give in, you wanted to do it and you let them have you do it. I wonder how stupid can they be?

    This also puts me at high risk for crimes so I am glad people don't even bother me and I don't have any friends because I am less likely to be taken advantage of and going to jail. I don't even want people to know me or know I have this weakness or else they can just fuck with me.

    Sales people are the worse, I hate them so I try and avoid them. I don't get many of their calls because I refuse to put my phone number down and only use my email. It's easier to just delete. I need to get strong and be rude and just hang up or just simply put the phone down and then they won't call me again after being on hold for too long or do what my dad does and say "Hey thanks for calling but I am not interested" and hang up before they say anything else.

    I hate people who will not take no for an answer and I keep trying to be stronger so I won't be so vulnerable to being pressured. I am always proud when I do stick up for myself like ignoring a sales person in public. Even my ex boyfriend would try and pressure me and try and make me feel guilty so I would do what he wanted and I realize it was manipulation he was doing. They will play with your emotions by calling you selfish or saying you're self centered just so you will feel guilty and do it. But actually they are the ones being selfish.

    I keep telling myself be strong.

    Anyone else struggle with this or used to? Did you get better?

    I am thinking I should just turn into a bitch if anyone tries to pressure me and have them think I have a terrible temper and I would rather be hated. Online I can just hit the block button if anyone pressures me.

  2. #2


    I can honestly I am not easily pressured. I get he annoying telemarketers calls. Once I know who they are I just hit the END button on the phone. Poof they are gone.

  3. #3


    I have a really hard time saying no, too, Calico. I've gotten into bad situations because of it, like you have said. I keep wondering, why do I do that? The best idea I can come up with is that I overestimate the pain people feel upon rejection (a 'no') because my own pain from rejection is way over-magnified and out of normal proportions. A little 'no' to me, over-sensitive to it, feels like I got stabbed in the heart! But, I think, according to what I read and hear from others, a little no to them is barely a blink. So I say yes, yes, yes, okay, sure, no problem, because I subconsciously think I'm saving them from some kind of tremendous pain. But in reality, they'd probably be just fine.

    Also, I think I'm very worried that if I say 'no I can't do this' they will say 'well then I can no longer be your friend.' So by saying yes to everything and getting pressured into so much, I'm sort of desperately attempting to never feel the pain of an even greater rejection done unto me. I realize logically that it's unlikely your friend will stop speaking to you if you say you can't help her move that weekend, but, on a more emotional level, I say "okay sure!" before I have time to even think of the most realistic outcomes. It's so quick; so sudden. "Help m-" "YES!"

    Maybe I just want to be useful, or needed or have some kind of purpose to my life. Maybe it's that I still think everybody else in the world are worth exponentially more than I am worth. When you view yourself as being so low you're practically on the ground, then people will walk all over you. Also, it seems that even still these days it's a bit harder for women to say no than for men to say no. Men are assertive; women are bitches. That's kind of how it's viewed, so I tend to think this is a more common problem that women face, though it's still seen in lots of men, too.

    I guess it's a whole bunch of stuff, mixing all up at once. When I try to stop this behavior in myself, I try to practice 'polite' no's. Not the opposite way of the spectrum, shouting no at everyone you can. I try to not view myself as inherently lower than other people, and I try not to overestimate the damage one minor rejection has on a person. I'm obviously still working at it, though. It's a struggle all the time, but I think awareness is a great first step to make.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    It's a struggle all the time, but I think awareness is a great first step to make.

    My problem tends in to be in the opposite direction. A forceful no is almost a kneejerk reaction for me. I think that's a hangover from having a teenage daughter who was constantly working me for one thing or another.

  5. #5


    I'm not easily Pressured, but I do occasionally make a mistake. It usually depends on what mindset I am in, If I am in my normal "the world sucks I hate everything" You won't get one Zimbabwe dollar off me.
    I'm not sure what makes me prone to make the few mistakes, but I suspect I take a rare step to trust someone/something and I get burned each time. Makes me less trustful, less friendly the more people are out to scam us.

  6. #6


    Is it possible that one lets themselves be pushed because they are afraid of the outcome when they get angry? I'm easily pressured, yet, I let my boyfriend push me into sex all the time, and I just take it, rather then let myself go into full-on rage mode. I'm certain nothing could come of that aside from a life sentence. I should walk away, but like most, part of me enjoys it, and part of me still "needs" him. I roll my eyes at this side of myself and know one day I will leave him, and nobody, not even a telemarketer, will ever push me into doing what I don't want to do, ever again.

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