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Thread: College Roommates and their ilk

  1. #1

    Default College Roommates and their ilk

    So yeah, my college roommate seemed pretty cool, we liked each other until about week 3. That's when everything went to hell.

    So, my college allows for you to change rooms once per semester, on week 2. My roommate seemed pretty cool, a little closed minded but I wasn't worried.

    Then the third week he came out with all these homophobic slurs, began doing everything he could to get alcohol despite us being on a dry campus and him having no idea how to hide his drinking.

    He started hitting me with various objects including his lanyard, pillows (which are harder than one would expect), and even his fists once.

    I Haven't gotten a full night sleep in my own room and bed since school began because he snores, I started listening to music, didn't work, I used the old gamer trick to play music in some ear buds and white noise of some big head phones... it didn't work. This isn't normal snoring and I started listening and even recorded it once to prove to him and he ignored it, but he stops breathing entirely.

    I once made a gay joke about myself while my Boy friend (He is a closeted FtM Trans (So he looks and is a girl for all intents and purposes to an outsider.) and I'm a closeted FtM Trans) and he began to threaten me mercilessly I tapped him upside the head with my pillow as a joke and he ripped it out of my hands and beat me mercilessly with for a full 5 minutes, with my boy friend right their. He then made a very rude comment to him which I don't want to repeat.

    He is Homophobic (Don't say there isn't such a thing as a homophobic person because there is, they are assholes specifically because someone is homosexual or determined (whether through fact or fiction) to be homosexual) and believes that all homosexuals should get rounded up in camps. He constantly plays with this switchblade knife and makes me nervous. He makes me nervous because of his tendency for violence.

    I just want some opinions.

    He is leaving in December for a different college, I've told my RHC and RA about the snoring and how It keeps me up to ungodly hours.

  2. #2

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    This is not a small issue. Talk to your RA and have them refer an officer to give them a "student living referral". Make a police report, take any and all pictures of yourself if there are bruises. This is battery. You are both adults, and this is well against the law.

  3. #3

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    From reading this i think his snoring is the least of your worries, if you are allowed to change rooms then change. if you feel your life is in danger and from what i have read it is, just change rooms.

  4. #4

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    Yeah, his snoring is nothing compared to what else you've said. I understand you don't want to put him over the edge, but you should really go into full detail with your RA and not just bring up the snoring. When your talking to your RA dont use the term Homophobic if u can help it, but let him know that he's already been violent towards you, and that aggression combined with him being in possession of a weapon will likely get him a one way ticket to the street. I understand that the room change period has also elapsed but if u were to explain this situation to your RA he would likely make an exception for you if he doesn't just remove your roommate.

    What your roommate is doing isn't just wrong, its illegal, don't stand by and let him beat you up, something can be done and you should do something about it.

  5. #5
    CrinklySiren

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    Quote Originally Posted by JessycaNekoGirl View Post
    I once made a gay joke about myself while my Boy friend (He is a closeted FtM Trans (So he looks and is a girl for all intents and purposes to an outsider.) and I'm a closeted FtM Trans) and he began to threaten me mercilessly I tapped him upside the head with my pillow as a joke and he ripped it out of my hands and beat me mercilessly with for a full 5 minutes, with my boy friend right their. He then made a very rude comment to him which I don't want to repeat.
    lol as the others said, snoring is the least of your worries >_< shit, if i were in your position i would either find a way to kick his ass (dont do that, violence is not the answer lol) or get as many law enforcement people involved because he clearly has issues. Also just for future reference, its "intensive purposes" not "intents and purposes" (im not trying to be a bitch i just have grammar OCD lol)



    Quote Originally Posted by JessycaNekoGirl View Post
    He is Homophobic (Don't say there isn't such a thing as a homophobic person because there is, they are assholes specifically because someone is homosexual or determined (whether through fact or fiction) to be homosexual) and believes that all homosexuals should get rounded up in camps. He constantly plays with this switchblade knife and makes me nervous. He makes me nervous because of his tendency for violence.
    Who in their right mind has ever said homophobia doesnt exist?! lol. About the switchblade i have one thing to say: FUCK. THAT. I would run the hell out of there and find some way to subdue his sociopath, psychopath attitude and get myself to safety REAL quick. Fuck his snoring lol I would make the assumption that my life is in immediate danger...

    Seriously, consider getting a trasnfer or a police report or something because this guy sounds extremely dangerous to be around.. I'm actually scared FOR you right now.

  6. #6

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    The problem is that the campus police, who technically have jurisdiction here, hate me because of something else that happened and didn't take me seriously when I mentioned it before. I'm a non aggressive person and I just figure it will blow over and in the mean time I spends weekends in another dorm worn friends and try to arrive after he is asleep. All my classes are before his so I disappear in morning and stay out till past midnight usually.

    I just don't like the idea of running his future. He wants to be a mechanic in California. The has plans and I would hate to ruin them.

    I know I should do something but I'm just not one to report something. I've had poor experiences in the past dealing with abuse from someone and authorities ignoring it and I just learned to shut up and deal with things

  7. #7
    CrinklySiren

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    Quote Originally Posted by JessycaNekoGirl View Post
    The problem is that the campus police, who technically have jurisdiction here, hate me because of something else that happened and didn't take me seriously when I mentioned it before. I'm a non aggressive person and I just figure it will blow over and in the mean time I spends weekends in another dorm worn friends and try to arrive after he is asleep. All my classes are before his so I disappear in morning and stay out till past midnight usually.

    I just don't like the idea of running his future. He wants to be a mechanic in California. The has plans and I would hate to ruin them.

    I know I should do something but I'm just not one to report something. I've had poor experiences in the past dealing with abuse from someone and authorities ignoring it and I just learned to shut up and deal with things
    I don't want to sound abrasive but you're gonna have to get over that idea that because you were ignored once you will be ignored again. I've dealt with abuse in the past and i was bullied my entire life... every single time, they gave the bullies the benefit of the doubt and I ended up getting in trouble. It got so bad that I had to resort to making gun threats for people to leave me in peace, and of course no one bothered to ask why i felt the need to say those things, all they cared about was arresting me and turning me and my family into the "problem" but as kids we don't have the ability to think things through properly enough, and when we become adults it scars us indefinitely, the only thing we can do is move past those scars and tell ourselves "im a human being, and i deserve to feel safe in my own living quarters", the moment you decide to shut up is the moment you let them win...

    Also, i dont know if you're talking about your BF or your room mate, but if you're talking about your room mate, i dont think you should worry about his "future" because he's gonna fuck it up all on his own with his ignorant and irresponsible attitude.. If anything you'd be steering his life in the right direction before he gets drunk and kills someone by accident or out of drunken stupor.

    Its understandable that you are cautious and considerate, I understand completely because I'm the same way, but staying quiet about a problem is never a solution. Be safe <3

  8. #8

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    Thank you everyone I'm going to talk to my ra about it.
    And Emily my bf is the sweetest man I know. He and I ate both pacifists and believe firmly in nonviolence unless it is nessescarily the only prion. It's one of the reasons I want to be a police officer.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by JessycaNekoGirl View Post
    Thank you everyone I'm going to talk to my ra about it.
    And Emily my bf is the sweetest man I know. He and I ate both pacifists and believe firmly in nonviolence unless it is nessescarily the only prion. It's one of the reasons I want to be a police officer.
    I too think that's the best you can do and obviously the wisest choice, besides probably one of the few that won't end... wrong or in a horrible way.

    As a side note, have you found a new therapist by now? S/he probably might have said the same like that what has been mentioned so far, or also did something about it. But anyway, finding one does not hurt I think =). Besides that your bf also sounds like he is a person you can count on.

    Anyway, since you've written a small blog entry about this some time ago and it hasn't changed much from the facts, except that you obviously suffer even more. Which is understandable: He has more freedom to do what he feels like with his poisonous and violent behaviour, since he's not getting stopped.
    I think the fact that he started to play around with his switchblade, well that's simply enough.

    I can understand that you don't want to ruin anyone's life, but for a split second think about what is going on with your own. That's simply not how you should spend your time in your college days, or any given time in your life, no one should.
    Furthermore, if this is his natural way of dealing with things he does not like anyhow, how will it end? He might really ruin someone's life, either way physical or mentally, besides his own as a consequence perhaps.
    As conclusion: It's most rational to give him a clear stop signal that he crossed the line and learns this by now, period.

    Best of luck for talking with the RA and that you will have some peace again. Don't let yourself get ignored.

  10. #10

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    Having worked in a college and dealt with this you need to go ABOVE your RA. If you are having trouble with the campus police go ABOVE them they answer to a Dean at the college too. And I know that the chief there would not want to get into hot water with them and lose a job. You have to stand up for yourself for no one will do it for you. It is your life take control. I know I sound harsh and it is only partially meant to be other part is made to let you know that you don't have to take abuse from others. If you need to talk or advice feel free to PM me.

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