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Thread: Confessions of a diape lover and a dummy sucker

  1. #1

    Default Confessions of a diape lover and a dummy sucker

    Okay, so last night my boyfriend told me had a secret to tell me. He'd been teelling me all week that he had something to say and it was really bad and disgusting so I was expecting something awful. He got so worked up and emotional,then he said 'Moon, I like wearing adult nappies'. And I nearly laughed and said 'Is that it?'

    Yes, it's a bit werd and I'm not ready to take actve part in it, though I think I want to try it one day, but I don''t have a problem with Sun wearing a nappy and cuddling up on the sofa with me. He can't give me the words as to why he does it exactly, just like I can'texplain why I want to suck a dummy or be tiied up in bed. Sun has even bought me a dummy for our next date. Maybe it is because I'm disabled and he's had to make a few adjuustments for me that I don'thave a problem with it. I know I'm going to be a bit shockedthe firt timeI see Sun in his adult nappy but honestly, it just means I get to see more of his body!

    He was a bit, okay extremely, shocked that i didn'tfind it messed up. It's something he's been keepingsecretfor most of his life andI feel so special that he wants to share it with me.

  2. #2

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    Okay, so I'm Sun... (p.s. and this is along post, apologies)

    To start with; I've been a diaper lover all my life - I remember when I was young, 8 or 9, I would put on multiple pairs of pants and pretend that I was wearing a nappy. Sometimes I'd wet them too. I can't explain why I like wearing them, I wish I could, but at least part of it is the feeling of being padded "down there". When I reached puberty, like most people with this fetish it seems from reading stuff online, it took on a sexual side where I liked wetting my multiple pants (and later when I moved out of home, proper nappies) and I'd find the tight warmth arousing and would masturbate in them. I am not an adult baby (no disrespect to those that are, I just don't feel like that) and I have to desire to role play at anything - I just like the feeling of wearing nappies. I've never actively participated in any kind of online AD/DL community before although I have lurked when I've been enjoying nappies, mainly to reassure myself I'm not alone although this has little effect on my feelings after.

    Anyway - to the point, for reasons mainly to do which complete exhaustion, at the start of the week I had a somewhat uninhibited internet conversation with my girlfriend of less than 12 months, Moon, where I broached the topic of fetishes and unusual desires. She out-and-out asked me if I had one and as a honest person I couldn't deny it. Obvously I had to tell her face-to-face and spent the rest of the week trying to prepare myself and her for the conversation (hence Moon saying I told her "it was [going to be] really bad and disgusting" - I think it is, more on that in a bit). I even bookmarked a couple of links to show Moon in a folder called "For moon....if she doesn't dump me"

    Telling Moon I have the desire to wear nappies and enjoy doing to has to be the single scariest thing I have ever done in my life - and as someone whose been in genuinely life threatening situations in the past that's saying something! I honestly thought she was going to demand to leave immediately and I'd never see her again. Since my early teens I've been in a distructive binge/purge cycle where I would get nappies, "play" with them, feel totally disguested with myself and throw away everything I had to do with them. This has repeated almost non-stop every 2-3 months for most of my life (from what I can gather this is a common pattern for the "closeted" DL). I've tried many times to stop and had always failed, ending up unable to suppress the uncontrolable urge to get a nappy and put it on. Probably the main reason I've told Moon is that I can feel the urges "regrouping" and I know that within a week or a month they will be come overwhelming again no matter what I do to try and supress them. This coupled with my complete lack of inhibition from being just completely shattered is why we ended up having the conversation online and once I'd said that I had a strange fetish there was no backing out. I had to make myself follow through and tell her.

    When I told Moon she was so kind and so understanding. I never expected her to react as she did. I thought she was going to run away from me and never look back, I thought absolute best case she would tell me she didn't want to know and as long as I didn't do it in any way she knew about she would ignore it. She didn't do any of these - she said "it's fine. It's part of who you are and I love you". She even indicated that she would be okay with me wearing around her - I've never been so relieved, so happy and so unsure she wasn't just humouring me or thinking I was joking. We talked and it was obvious that Moon was taking me seriously and that she didn't hate me. She was completely fine when I told her I wet them too. I think a lot of stuff fell into place for her too, as I've been subtly (in the subtle way that only men can do...the one that's not very subtle) trying to sound out if she had similar desires. She doesn't. Moon also told me that she wants to suck on a dummy and, after a while, said she wanted me to tie her up in bed. From how she told me about her vices, desires, fetishes, whatever-you-want-to-call-it she seems to think hers are kinkier than wearing adult nappies - I think it's the other way round!

    This is the first time I've ever "come out", or even hinted about it, to anyone. I've spent all of my life hiding and trying to deny, to myself as much as anyone else, that I do this and that I have the desire to wear nappies. Moon has turned my world on its head, she says it's okay and I'm not doing anything wrong. We both agree it's not "usual" but I think the hardest part, for me, is that Moon is okay with it and I'm not. She's more comfortable with me, the whole me, than I am with myself and that's more wrong than wanting to wear a nappy. I'm not sure if I will ever tell anyone else I actually know about this side of me or not but I am so grateful to finally have someone to talk to about it. Moon has said she does not want to try wearing one but she will keep an open mind and might decide she wants to try one in the future. I'm fine with this - even if she stays at the "I'm okay with it but don't expect me to partake" position that she seems happy at, I will be very, very happy. I've told her that I would be thrilled if she wanted to try one on, which I would be, but it has to be on her terms and she has to be comfortable with it.

    Moon and I have, what I belive to be, a very healthy "normal" sex life - I find her physically sexually attractive and we have conventional sexual intimacy. I don't find my nappy wearing desires impact on this at all - I don't think about it when we're having sex nor do I have overwhelming desires to see her wearing one (I'd be lying if I said the idea didn't have appeal to me, on a sexual level, but I'm also completely happy with our sex life the way it is).

    Going forward, Moon and I will continue to be together and we will explore our individual vices and desires together. I think that if anything coming out to her has brought us closer together - she knows my most intimate secret that no one else knows and I hope that by telling her I have reenforced just how much I love her. Moon's reaction to the news has cemented my confidence in our relationship and us as a couple.

    Like I said before I've never participated in any kind of AB/DL community before, despite being a DL all of my life, but I found this site when I was Googling for *something* to try and explain these desires to Moon (I sure as hell can't explain why I feel these desires) and, specifically, Beta's post (http://www.adisc.org/forum/adult-bab...ml#post1049311), which Moon has read, since I told her. Beta, if you read this, THANK YOU!

    Moon wants me to say how I feel, and to be honest I still feel like a lot of other people on this site seem to - from only have a quick skim of the last couple of pages of forum posts I've identified some quotes from other users, which resonate with me and I'd like to share. Right now I'm still at the stage where I'm not comfortable with myself and my need to wear a nappy. The desire is becomming overwhelming again so I will end up doing it soon, however hard I try not too - I've been trying to stop since I became a teenager and aware of sexuality generally.

    I wish there was a secret potion that just erased this desire completely
    (bugguy6970 - http://www.adisc.org/forum/adult-bab...ml#post1111255) this is how I feel and how I have always felt about it. From Moon's kind words and reassurances I need to get myself to the position where this is true:

    I think the key is to start seeing yourself in a more balanced way as a 'normal person who wears diapers,' like someone else might see themselves as a 'normal person who likes (insert fetish here).'
    (InTheWorld - http://www.adisc.org/forum/diaper-ta...ml#post1115897) and I'm pretty sure this how Moon sees me now. She has accepted me, now I need to accept me as I am. I'm still finding this very hard, 20+ years of denial isn't going to be undone overnight, but with Moon's help I'm sure I'll get there too, one day.

    Moon's the one that said we should share our experience, in the hope that it helps others and that, maybe, others can help us (so if any one wants to thank us - she deserves all the credit!). I think Beta's post, from a non-DL partner's point of view, has influenced that decision and I cannot express enough how helpful that post was.

  3. #3

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    Hi and welcome to the site. Though I'm not sure about this, I have a feeling the mods may want you two to have separate accounts. If so, I'm sure they will let you do that. It looks like you'd both share the same IP address, so maybe it doesn't matter.

    Normally, a new member (s) would make an introduction account, but really, you've done that by telling us a lot about yourselves. I think it's nice that Moon has accepted you, but perhaps it's not surprising. I'm, to some degree, my wife's caretaker as she's diabetic and can go low blood sugar without realizing it. I've saved her life well over a thousand times. When she discovered my diaper order, I had to come out to her, and she was very accepting. In fact, she buys me all kinds of things like plushies, sippy cups, onsies, etc. It's nice to be accepted, and to be a baby in front of the one you love several times a week.

    The best I can say is enjoy.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by SunAndMoon View Post
    Okay, so I'm Sun... (p.s. and this is along post, apologies)
    Welcome to ADISC.

    Just so you know, we don't allow more than one person to use an account, regardless of their relationship status.

    I would highly suggest creating a separate account for one of you, and renaming the SunAndMoon account to reflect which one of you will continue using that account.

  5. #5

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    For a site that claims to offer nothing but support, II find your comment very UNsupportive Moo. Sun and I are a couple exploring our individual interests TOGETHER. As such, it is our choice and our right to speak and express ourselves in the same way. Since you refuse to accommodate out needs, SunAndMoon will be going elsewhere for the adviuce and support we sought here. Feel free to delete our account.

    Moon

  6. #6

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    Whoa...

    Easy there, guy. Noone is 100% disputing your claims or trying to prevent you and your SO from connecting with the community. It's a simple matter of obeying Terms of Service, which are endemic to all forums. ADISC is no different in that respect. Moo is only reinforcing the rules that every other member of this forum must similarly abide if he/she wishes to participate. Please don't take it personally.

    I - for one - find your story fascinating, and I'd love to hear more. Just based on the different writing styles between Sun and Moon, it seems pretty evident to me that you are, indeed, two distinct people - which is historically not always the case. ADISC TOS rules are in place for a good reason: You may be relatively new to the AB/DL community (you state ADISC is your first attempt to "reach out"), but be aware that AB/DLs are very often the target of mass ridicule, inconsiderate spammers, intolerant trolls, HNGs (i.e., online perverts/sexual predators), and straight-up assholes. Some of these folks will exploit the TOS or start multiple accounts under a single IP strictly to spam up the forum with posts attacking us and our lifestyle.

    We're not by any means suggesting Sun and Moon fit these profiles, but we have to employ measures that keep the constructive dialog flowing while marginalizing the effluvia. That means enforcing rules on everyone that keep out the riff-raff. All we ask is that - if you indeed are looking for support and the means to connect with our community - you kindly respect our community rules.

    And, for the record, attacking the forum owner/moderator in this manner does not inspire much sympathy from the forum. We are a very open-minded and accommodating group, and we would be glad to share our life experiences and observations with Sun and Moon, but we don't respond favorably to rudeness.

    Be polite, and observe the TOS. That's all we ask. And - in return - we'll welcome you with open arms!

  7. #7

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    Ermm...okay...neither myself (Sun) nor Moon came here intending to start an argument. Sorry that it seems to have come accross like that.

    As moon has stated, we wanted to contribute as a couple (well, I think she more wanted me to contribute to try and help me come to terms with my fetish but this is something I cannot do without her support). We did not mean to transgress any rules or piss off anyone, especially not the forum owner.

    To be clear, your TOS do NOT state ANYWHERE that only one person can use a single account - they say that no ONE person can have multiple accounts and that no one can use an account that does not belong to them. As a couple we have shared ownership of things WE buy/create/etc. (I believe this is common in most juristictions?) therefore I believe we BOTH own the account in the eyes of the law, so we did not believe we were breaking any rules. If I have misunderstood or misinterpreted the spirit of the rules, as seems to be the case, then the rules perhaps need clarifying and explicitly stating that two individuals are not allowed to contribute together. We did not intend to cause a fuss.

    Your TOS do state that "Administrative issues (such as complaints about negative reputation, or a moderation issue) should be resolved via asking the staff privately, not using posts in public forums." - surely this should have been followed and the issue raised with us IN PRIVATE rather than posting in the public forums?

    Moon's post might have been terse but she has already told you she is disabled, and she therefore it is difficult enough for her to type messages without "sugar coating" things as well. I would have expected that a "support community" would have some sympathy to her position instead of jumping down her throat just for saying she was finding the two replies so far having ago, for transgressing a rule we didn't even know existed, are unsupportive.

    I'm sorry but I also agree with her - we came here looking for support from a site that claims to offer just that. With her gentle persation (okay, she sat me down at the computer and made me do it after she made the account) I have poured out my soul about a problem I have kept secret all my life. To be chastised for breaking an unwritten rule, not posting an introduction (I'm sorry, but what more could I have done as in introduction?) and missing the point that I don't find this fun (sorry dogboy, I know you didn't mean to be nasty but I found your "The best I can say is enjoy" comment very upsetting) from a group of people who perport to understand these issues is distressing in the extreeme. Seriously you had me bordline suicidal over the weekend - I hate this, I hate myself for liking this. My wonderful gf, Moon, is okay with it but I sure as hell am not, and I'm the one who has this problem.

    I don't think we want to be part of a community that treats people who are seeking their help, advice and support in this mannar.

    Sun

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Rules

    9. One Account Per Person

    Nobody may ever register more than one account, even if the first account they registered was lost, closed, deleted, or banned.
    If you have lost access to your account, and are unable to log in, contact us using the guest contact form for help recovering it.
    Nobody may permit another person to use their account, nor may anyone use an account which is not theirs.
    Erm It's stated right there clear as day. Being a couple does not make you one person.

    Moo's post was perfectly reasonable and so was his solution.

    If you don't like it then cya.

    P.S we need a wave smiley.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by SunAndMoon View Post
    Ermm...okay...neither myself (Sun) nor Moon came here intending to start an argument. Sorry that it seems to have come accross like that.

    As moon has stated, we wanted to contribute as a couple (well, I think she more wanted me to contribute to try and help me come to terms with my fetish but this is something I cannot do without her support). We did not mean to transgress any rules or piss off anyone, especially not the forum owner.

    To be clear, your TOS do NOT state ANYWHERE that only one person can use a single account - they say that no ONE person can have multiple accounts and that no one can use an account that does not belong to them. As a couple we have shared ownership of things WE buy/create/etc. (I believe this is common in most juristictions?) therefore I believe we BOTH own the account in the eyes of the law, so we did not believe we were breaking any rules. If I have misunderstood or misinterpreted the spirit of the rules, as seems to be the case, then the rules perhaps need clarifying and explicitly stating that two individuals are not allowed to contribute together. We did not intend to cause a fuss.

    Your TOS do state that "Administrative issues (such as complaints about negative reputation, or a moderation issue) should be resolved via asking the staff privately, not using posts in public forums." - surely this should have been followed and the issue raised with us IN PRIVATE rather than posting in the public forums?

    Moon's post might have been terse but she has already told you she is disabled, and she therefore it is difficult enough for her to type messages without "sugar coating" things as well. I would have expected that a "support community" would have some sympathy to her position instead of jumping down her throat just for saying she was finding the two replies so far having ago, for transgressing a rule we didn't even know existed, are unsupportive.

    I'm sorry but I also agree with her - we came here looking for support from a site that claims to offer just that. With her gentle persation (okay, she sat me down at the computer and made me do it after she made the account) I have poured out my soul about a problem I have kept secret all my life. To be chastised for breaking an unwritten rule, not posting an introduction (I'm sorry, but what more could I have done as in introduction?) and missing the point that I don't find this fun (sorry dogboy, I know you didn't mean to be nasty but I found your "The best I can say is enjoy" comment very upsetting) from a group of people who perport to understand these issues is distressing in the extreeme. Seriously you had me bordline suicidal over the weekend - I hate this, I hate myself for liking this. My wonderful gf, Moon, is okay with it but I sure as hell am not, and I'm the one who has this problem.

    I don't think we want to be part of a community that treats people who are seeking their help, advice and support in this mannar.

    Sun
    Sun...and Moon...

    I am sorry that things seemed to have got off on the wrong foot! I assure you that the majority of us here at ADISC have at one time started out as you have...attempting to reconcile with something we'd rather be rid of, or not ever have had at all... The reality, as I'm sure you are painfully aware right now...is that this seems to be something very deeply ingrained in our...psychopathology, or something to that effect...

    If I can in any way assure you, that you are perhaps being overly reactive, or defensive towards a great number of real people here...I shall hope to do so...

    While none of us perfect in any way shape or form...we do generally intend only for your betterment and peace of mind! I believe that you are at a very susceptible time in your life right now...please have a moment of faith in both us, and yourselves...I don't believe, that anywhere else exists in this form, and context of support, and community to go to besides ADISC, unless you are more interested in the rather more 'seedy' aspect of AB/DL-ism...I hope you'll stay!

    Moo doesn't generally seem to do things to be popular...he does them, as best I can tell...because he believes it to be in the best interest of this community, and his own pursuits...though I can see where you would find it appropriate to have two-people per account...but, you may actually be the first to interpret the rules to allow this with conscience...and I believe that Moo's kind request is perhaps more generous, and guiding than what he may have been inclined to in prior times... Perhaps a clause will be amended to the rules to be more specifically certain that one person per account name is all that is allowed. Quite likely for the sole purpose of preventing banned members from participating under an assumed, or other name...and it makes conversation more clear to respond to...when we know to whom specifically we are speaking to...however close the two of you are, you are two separate (though joined) entities...it's only fair for clarification too...I believe.

    Won't you please both join us, as Sun, and then Moon respectively...and respectfully?? Sometimes, the sun and moon are above us in the sky together...often, they are one of night, and one of day...and we see each more clearly that way...

    Peace be with you, and so shall we be...should you choose to continue with us!

    Thank you...
    -Marka

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