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Thread: Why I can not accept myself.

  1. #1
    PaddedGamer

    Default Why I can not accept myself.

    I have a few reasons but number one is physical appearance. Im not small and im not big I got a good enough of a belly though. Thing is is when im in a diaper after the fun is over i just kinda pause look, and ask myself what the he am I doing. I do know if im bisexual or not because If a guy has a better looking body then me I picture him in a diaper and it gets me up. Same with girls. Could it just be the diaper aspect? But honestly I think I could accept myself if I was good looking and had a six pack. Like even most of the girls on here say they like the tough guys in diapers.

    Second reason is I recently had a family member killed at mid age and me being part atheist and part Christian because i don't know what to believe (science or history), if i think of that member in heaven looking down i could not imagine what they could be thinking of me.

    Thanks for all of your opinions and suggestions in advance!

  2. #2

    Default

    You need to find a way to become comfortable with yourself even past being diapered. Sounds like there is more of an issue there than the simple statement. I do believe in life after death. While I do have my moments there is the fact that energy can not be created or destroyed and our brain is a giant battery. I don't think the deceased cast judgment on the living for what they wear or do to make them selves happy.

  3. #3

    Default

    I happen to be a Christian and have heard that God created us and knows the depths of our hearts and loves us in spite of ourselves. I'd have to say diapers and crossdressing or transgender don't matter to God nearly as much as turning our hearts toward him. As far as your departed relative, they are in an eternal 'just you and me' moment with God according to their individual level of faith.

    I am not telling you "what YOU NEED is blah blah blah", I'm just stating what helps get me through life. I have found for myself that diapers and dressing up has kept me from road-raging and makes waiting at the DMV or checkout lines not the maddening frustration it used to be, my particular flavor is wanting to be in that place again where expectations didn't exist.

    You'll have to repost where most of these girls (I think there are like 5 on here and all married or in a partnership) say they like tough guys in diapers! (couldn't resist)

    Anyway on whatever level you can, you'll need to come to acceptance of yourself JUST THE WAY YOU ARE or it will end badly for you one way or another - your liver, your mind, something's going to give. (Where is Frogsy? She's much better at a pep-talk post than I am!)

    The good thing is that you have made it here and that shows there is hope yet. Stick around

  4. #4

    Default

    As someone who is only just the right side of underweight, I can tell you that us skinny adults don't look any less ridiculous in diapers than fat people.
    If you're a grown up in diapers you're going to look ridiculous, but actually most of the things most people do involving sex make them look ridiculous - it's just something you have to get used to and accept.
    It could just be you're "gay for diapers," but you could be bisexual. I wouldn't let either conclusion worry you. Ask yourself - have you ever had any feelings for other men when they're not in diapers? Do you find the looks or personality of any male friends or fictional characters appealing?
    A kink is like a sauce - it can make a good meal great or an only edible meal enjoyable, but it's not a meal itself.

    The second thing: I don't believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope it's more interesting than simply staring down at our surviving friends and relatives, finding out all the embarrassing things they do when they're alone.

    My advice would be:
    Ask yourself why you think you AREN'T acceptable - do those reasons make sense? Forget about whether or not you're "good looking" (because there's someone out there for everyone) think about being a good person. Hopefully that helps with the second point too: if you're family member could see you now they'd want to see you looking after yourself, doing good, and being happy, because that's the important stuff.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by MOPaddED View Post
    You'll have to repost where most of these girls (I think there are like 5 on here and all married or in a partnership) say they like tough guys in diapers! (couldn't resist)
    As far as I recall, most of the girls on here have said they like geeky looking guy in diapers, more than the tough guys..

  5. #5

    Default

    Sound like you expect a lot from others and care a lot for their judgement.

    You nailed one point about accepting yourself as you are. You can improve yourself by making some effort toward your goal of having a better looking body. Eating better and workout out will make you feel a lot better about yourself.

    As for your passed away relative looking down on you and judging you... Your logical side should make this tough irrationnal. The side of you that want to beleive in religion should also consider the concept that once you are in heaven, you should have so much other fun things to do than to look down on those mortal and judge. Not to mention, ascending to being something greater in an infinite love realm, flooded with unconditionnal compation... You doing naughty things in a diaper would be the last thing on their mind. If it make you feel good, no mather for how long, and hurt no one. Not even god can judge you!

    I'm a pure atheist and I only had 6 years of religious class in school. Most of what I remember and christianity is unconditionnal forgiveness, love and compation.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by PaddedGamer View Post
    I have a few reasons but number one is physical appearance. Im not small and im not big I got a good enough of a belly though. Thing is is when im in a diaper after the fun is over i just kinda pause look, and ask myself what the he am I doing. I do know if im bisexual or not because If a guy has a better looking body then me I picture him in a diaper and it gets me up. Same with girls. Could it just be the diaper aspect? But honestly I think I could accept myself if I was good looking and had a six pack. Like even most of the girls on here say they like the tough guys in diapers.

    Second reason is I recently had a family member killed at mid age and me being part atheist and part Christian because i don't know what to believe (science or history), if i think of that member in heaven looking down i could not imagine what they could be thinking of me.

    Thanks for all of your opinions and suggestions in advance!
    The other posters on here have given you some good advice already. I'd like to add a few things.

    Body image is something that affects us all. We all want to look better. I'm skinny, and that makes me self-conscious about my lack of muscle. Muscular guys sometimes act confidently, but I know that in a lot of cases, they're insecure about someone being more muscular than them. Worrying about your body image is a never-ending treadmill of sadness, because you'll never be satisfied. Everyone thinks they could be a little thinner, or a little more muscular, or a little more...not themselves. It doesn't end.

    The only solution I've found is to remember the part of you that really matters...your character. What are you really good at? What are your best traits - courage, intelligence, seeing things differently, determination, kindness? (And there's something, I guarantee it!) You'll never win the game of being good enough physically, so change the game. When you phrase it as, "I'm good because...", you'll accept yourself a lot more easily.

    I'll also point out that we all look silly in diapers, muscular or not. But we can also look attractive to people who are into diapers! Bigger guys are considered attractive by some people, too. Put it this way: if someone can think I look good in a dress, there are definitely people out there who will find you attractive, too

    On the bisexuality debate, I don't have any experience with that sort of wondering, but I will say this: it's OK either way. If you're straight, bi, or anything else, you're OK. There are people out there for you, and you don't need to feel inferior either way. You'll have to decide for yourself, but whatever you decide, I don't condemn you, and neither will most people, I imagine.

    Finally, I'm sorry you lost a family member. I understand wanting to honour their memory. When I've lost someone, I find it hard to let go, because I wanted to make sure they were respected. And I can see why diapers would make you feel guilty over that. So I'd like you to try a little thought experiment.

    Imagine that something happened to you, and you died. Imagine, now, that you could see your surviving relatives. What would you want from them? Would you want them to suffer by trying to repress a part of themselves? Or would you want them to feel happy and secure? Would you want them to feel ashamed over the things that make them special and unique? Or would you want them to feel happy that they have a special way to bring joy to themselves?

    Your departed loved one isn't ashamed of you, I'm convinced. I think they would want you to feel secure and happy, and if they love you, they don't look down on you for who you are. You're OK!

    If you want to chat, message me anytime. I'm happy to help people who are working through these questions - and so are most people here! Good luck!

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MOPaddED View Post
    (Where is Frogsy? She's much better at a pep-talk post than I am!)
    I think you did great Mo! LOL, though, that was cute.

    My skinny boyfriend, who looks good in a dress and diapers, just did the pep-talk for me. What Adventurer said about people digging different body types is true. I personally don't like muscles and I find big veiny muscles really disgusting, so, you can see, that works out for both of us. What's your problem, PaddedGamer? A little on the chubby side? I have a few female friends who repeatedly go for guys they call 'teddy bears' - a little chubby with a belly to lay their heads on. They're out there! They want to cuddle you!

    If you personally want your body to be different, then go work out and eat less sweets. But if you're doing it just to get affection/girls/guys/compliments then that's going to get ya nowhere fast. Change your body for you and no one else. Otherwise, don't worry too much about popular sexual standards. The thing is that when men and women are looking at bodies like slabs of meat, they are really super picky. They want this, not that, they want that girl an inch taller, they wish that guy had a better butt, bla bla bla. It's a fantasy. It's not reality. When they're looking for relationships most people really are so much less picky than they appear. They'll love the guy/girl mostly for the whole package, their personality, values, mind, common interests, and physical attraction. With the whole package it often doesn't really matter if so and so has less muscles than they normally fantasized about. It doesn't matter if her breasts aren't as big as you normally desire. You like all of her/him. They are more than just a body when you are seeking a relationship. If they are the kind of person who can't tell the difference between eye-candy and a relationship, you don't want him/her in your life anyway. Seriously, those people are all kinds of messed up and will never treat you like a human being.

    I think most people here think diapers are silly when they either aren't horny or aren't in little mode. There's a time and a place for diapers! When that time is over, don't feel too bad. It served its purpose. When I'm in caretaker mode I think diapers are just adorable on guys/girls, when I'm sexual, I think diapers are hot, when I'm neither of those, they're just kinda meh I guess. Time and a place! That's all normal stuff.

    I don't think the problem is diapers, or how you look in diapers, but just how you have a poor body-image in general. If you were into another fetish, you'd be thinking about how you'd enjoy that more, too, if only you thought you looked better.

    A lot of people do this thing where they view members of their own sex wearing diapers in order to put themselves in his/her place in their minds. It doesn't mean anything about your sexuality if that is what you're doing. If you think you're bisexual, my best advice is to imagine deep kissing both genders. Are you grossed out or much more reluctant by either one? Are you thrilled by both about equally? But looking at pics of people in diapers, I'm not sure qualifies as a statement on your sexuality alone. I think the reason you look at guys you consider hotter than you in diapers is because you wish you were that guy and not you. That goes back to your body-image issues.

    Since you're a very rare part-atheist part-Christian, I think it would help to look at that issue with spiritual logic. If someone dies, and they have the power to watch all their loved ones, can you imagine the empathy they'd have? They'd see everyone at their worst, everyone being all human all over the place, they'd see so many intimate moments, and so many deep secrets, and so many deep emotions. They'd see human kind for the messed up scared bunch of sad people we are usually. All fragile and screwy and everything. They'd see it all. They'd have the biggest, most understanding, most compassionate hearts. You're not the only one who does crazy things. If anyone could understand this, an invisible other-worldly observer could.

  8. #8

    Default

    On a somewhat unrelated side note, I've made it somewhat of a habit to use exercise as a way to deal with being bummed out, and I can say it really does work wonders.

    Especially if your down about something like body image, I'd suggest trying out some sort of light exercise. Not only does it help distract you from whatever it is that's worrying you, but it also releases a natural hormone that makes you feel good (I think they're called endorphins...?). You don't have to bench a billion pounds to achieve this, just do something small, like go for a quick jog. Anything to keep you occupied and get your spirits up.

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