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Thread: regression and unloving parents

  1. #1

    Default regression and unloving parents

    hi everyone,

    i'm new and my nick is Jaydeey,

    this is maybe a arkward question but here goes,

    i'm disabled and my parents never have given me the feeling to be loved and accepted when i was little, had a lot of operations and hospital time, so i never had a sort of first affectional feeling with my parents... had some serious bladder problems and i cant remember my life without diapers, my upmost mean dad called me numerous times diaper pisser so that went great... anyway they got divorced and told everyone that it was my fault... sorry i'm drifting away from my question...

    can a severely heartbroken person with incontinence problems and now a sort of escape from the big bad world diaper thing have the urge to be loved and caressed by a loving and understanding person? including a onesie, maybe a bottle and more stuff like that? does this sound like dude you need a mental therapist? or should i buy stuff like that to feel better?
    i'do admit i do like the feeling of a diaper very much, even the negative side to lose bladder control, its a big psychological stresstest dealing with both of this feelings...

  2. #2

    Default

    Welcome Home!

    Your questions are part of the rule here rather than the exception. Every person here to some degree is looking for the acceptance and validation of who we are that the outside world is unable or unwilling to give. My own experiences with anger and humiliation at my childhood bedwetting and accidents, and later having my crossdressing items discovered pale in comparison to the evil hateful words that have been spoken to you but the fact is we all hurt from the negative impact others have made on our lives. I'm saddened you had to go through that.

    I see using diapers, onesies, bottles, dresses, whatever as a superior choice than going out and getting loaded (I've tried it and it never provided any long-term solutions) or getting into brawls or any other outwardly wrong behavior. With that in mind, you probably don't want to use a paci or dress in shortalls while riding the bus or shopping.

    Therapy probably would be beneficial in terms of working to get past the past as it were; I've gotten to know about myself and get a bit more 'in the now' by meeting with a group of guys I've met through a 12-step study (I have not FULLY disclosed to them but have skimmed over aspects that deal with sexuality and nobody is there to judge anyone, but these guys I have told things I've never told my family or partners) but staying on track, a therapist should never tell you that it's wrong or bad to enjoy diapers or AB aspects, if in fact you do decide to see a therapist - that's entirely up to you to see one, if you think it might help you PROgress. Otherwise, we're all here and willing to share struggles, or just listen

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MOPaddED View Post
    Welcome Home!

    Your questions are part of the rule here rather than the exception. Every person here to some degree is looking for the acceptance and validation of who we are that the outside world is unable or unwilling to give. My own experiences with anger and humiliation at my childhood bedwetting and accidents, and later having my crossdressing items discovered pale in comparison to the evil hateful words that have been spoken to you but the fact is we all hurt from the negative impact others have made on our lives. I'm saddened you had to go through that.

    I see using diapers, onesies, bottles, dresses, whatever as a superior choice than going out and getting loaded (I've tried it and it never provided any long-term solutions) or getting into brawls or any other outwardly wrong behavior. With that in mind, you probably don't want to use a paci or dress in shortalls while riding the bus or shopping.

    Therapy probably would be beneficial in terms of working to get past the past as it were; I've gotten to know about myself and get a bit more 'in the now' by meeting with a group of guys I've met through a 12-step study (I have not FULLY disclosed to them but have skimmed over aspects that deal with sexuality and nobody is there to judge anyone, but these guys I have told things I've never told my family or partners) but staying on track, a therapist should never tell you that it's wrong or bad to enjoy diapers or AB aspects, if in fact you do decide to see a therapist - that's entirely up to you to see one, if you think it might help you PROgress. Otherwise, we're all here and willing to share struggles, or just listen
    thanks Mopadded, and thanks for your reply

    my toughts were more of the i'm critically ill in my head,
    but for an idea to stay in bed a bit longer on a sunday morning with a bottle and paci dressed in a diaper and onesie wouldn't sound weird right?
    and feeling upmost comforting to cuddle up in my warm bed with big puffy sheets and so on.. the only thing missing is a person who cuddles with me and even check my paci bottle and diaper as a loving parent would... it hurts so much thinking about the missing links in the puzzle...

    i'm also diagnosed autism in a mild form, and i've gotten a big imagination, so i can think about a perfect situation about being carressed by a person with a big heart on the right place

    i hope i'm not sounding like a fake person with a big imagination because its not the case....

  4. #4

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    Jay Dee, there is nothing wrong with you. Seeing as your childhood was not the most perfect, I can see why you would want to experience a loving, caring, regressing situation. This is what drives many of us to regress to a time when we were little,a time when nothing was expected of us as grown ups (or even big kids)

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Jaydeey View Post
    hi everyone,

    i'm new and my nick is Jaydeey,

    this is maybe a arkward question but here goes,

    i'm disabled and my parents never have given me the feeling to be loved and accepted when i was little, had a lot of operations and hospital time, so i never had a sort of first affectional feeling with my parents... had some serious bladder problems and i cant remember my life without diapers, my upmost mean dad called me numerous times diaper pisser so that went great... anyway they got divorced and told everyone that it was my fault... sorry i'm drifting away from my question...

    can a severely heartbroken person with incontinence problems and now a sort of escape from the big bad world diaper thing have the urge to be loved and caressed by a loving and understanding person? including a onesie, maybe a bottle and more stuff like that? does this sound like dude you need a mental therapist? or should i buy stuff like that to feel better?
    i'do admit i do like the feeling of a diaper very much, even the negative side to lose bladder control, its a big psychological stresstest dealing with both of this feelings...
    Hey Jaydeey, welcome to the community. We're glad you're here!

    To answer your big question, this sounds like a perfectly fair reason to regress. Everyone on here's got a different story, and sadly, a lot of people here have suffered greatly, like you have. It's perfectly OK to regress as a result of the stress of being treated badly and not properly loved. After all, a little baby should feel safe and loved, free from life's stresses. You're doing something perfectly OK, and there's nothing wrong with it. I think part of the reason I go little is to deal with feeling alone as a kid due to bullying. So going through what you have is a perfectly OK reason to want to regress!

    I think it's also worth bringing up the idea of therapy. Therapists aren't someone you send bad people to. They help people who have gone through a lot of pain, and help them to find healthier ways of thinking about things. I know people - lovely, intelligent people - who see therapists because they've been through awful things no one should have to go through. If you're struggling with feeling terrible over what your parents did - which is completely understandable, from your story! - a therapist might help you find healing. You don't need a therapist if you're an adult baby. But if you're dealing with pain and anger, a therapist can help you lots. Just something to keep in mind.

    In any case, welcome to ADISC - I hope you'll stick around!

  6. #6

    Default

    Adventurer writes some of the best posts around and brings up the idea of possibly getting yourself a therapist in the future better than I could! I think it dovetails with what I was trying to convey, to get healing NOT as a way to replace regression but to supplement it. All in good time

    As far as having a lie-in on the weekend and relaxing with diapers, pacifiers etc. : again, nothing 'wrong' with it though if it becomes a matter of wanting to do that instead of taking care of keeping yourself fed, clothed and housed, that would seem to be out of balance - you certainly don't want this to rule your life.

    BTW have you posted an intro thread? It would help others get to know you and you have the space there to talk about your other areas of your life that go beyond the prevalent interest that brings us all here

  7. #7

  8. #8

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    I haven't IC problems, but basicaly we're in the same... There's a lot of people here who haven't life very easy from childhood. Therapists ? Not sureabout their aid , but if for someone works, OK with that.

    The most important is to search for some friends. Feel alone sucks...

  9. #9

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    Hi Jaydeey,

    The fantasies and desires you have are fairly common here, and I think many of us have dealt with guilt and mental health concerns because of these desires. You are not alone in that respect.

    As I see it I never asked to become a diaper lover, it's just something that happened to me at a very young age for unkown reasons. From my research, talking to people here, and from my own experience, this appears to be a permanent thing. I've had these desires for 60 years now. In my younger days the pleasure from indulging in these fanatsies was much more intense, but so was the guilt and self loathing. You are not "critically ill in [the] head", you are just dealing with a confusing issue that has been made more complicated for you because your parents were lousy role models.

    MOPaddED and Adventurer gave some great advice. If you want to try therapy there are people here who can give you an idea of how to go about doing that and what to watch out for.

    Good luck!

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Drifter View Post
    Hi Jaydeey,

    The fantasies and desires you have are fairly common here, and I think many of us have dealt with guilt and mental health concerns because of these desires. You are not alone in that respect.

    As I see it I never asked to become a diaper lover, it's just something that happened to me at a very young age for unkown reasons. From my research, talking to people here, and from my own experience, this appears to be a permanent thing. I've had these desires for 60 years now. In my younger days the pleasure from indulging in these fanatsies was much more intense, but so was the guilt and self loathing. You are not "critically ill in [the] head", you are just dealing with a confusing issue that has been made more complicated for you because your parents were lousy role models.

    MOPaddED and Adventurer gave some great advice. If you want to try therapy there are people here who can give you an idea of how to go about doing that and what to watch out for.

    Good luck!
    thanks so much !

    i'm fully aware about wearing diapers, and also preventing accidents and therefore gaining confindence, not focussing on "what if i leak or others smell me" but concentrate on other things (more) important...

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