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Thread: Question about Sexuality

  1. #1

    Default Question about Sexuality

    I realize that there have been several threads recently about sexual identity, so please allow me to explain my question.

    It recently occurred to me that the only things that really sexually arouse me (as in, lead me to fap) are my diaper and pee fetishes. While I can feel a level of attraction towards the opposite sex, seeing a cute guy just doesn't excite me the way my kinks do. Does this sound ''normal,'' or does it mean I'm asexual or something?

  2. #2

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    Doesn't mean you're asexual in the least. With guys it's been more widely documented about fetish objects and it's not unusual for many to prefer the object to the actual intercourse part. For me all of that stuff is icing on the cake but as Alice Cooper says there has to be a cake there to put the icing on. My particular fappage patterns dictate that the diapers/ shoes/ tights are what initalially attract me but they're not enough; I need a pretty face to go with it. You mention having somewhat of an attraction to actual people though not as strong. In reality that sounds a lot like me when I was 20; I knew I wanted to be 'with' somebody but obviously clueless as to how to go about getting it so I relied a lot on external surrogates for human interaction (sort of like these days haha).

    TDLR: the rumblings are there but not as strong - not exactly "Hollywood" normal but not unusual. I think when you get to a place where you have a 1:1 interaction and you feel totally into the environment the objects will take a slight back seat to what's going on in the moment - hence my icing on the cake theory. Though I haven't had theopportunity to combine my predilictions with actual physical contact myself. I believe we're all just making do with what we've got to work with; as John Lennon says 'Whatever gets you through the night, it's all right, it's all right"

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaStarshine View Post
    I realize that there have been several threads recently about sexual identity, so please allow me to explain my question.

    It recently occurred to me that the only things that really sexually arouse me (as in, lead me to fap) are my diaper and pee fetishes. While I can feel a level of attraction towards the opposite sex, seeing a cute guy just doesn't excite me the way my kinks do. Does this sound ''normal,'' or does it mean I'm asexual or something?
    Well its not such a chronic and bad thing because you can still feel attraction to your sexual orientation.
    A true paraphiliac, can only be aroused by his kinks, so your alright i reckon!

  4. #4

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    Right now your mind has a pretty well established link between diapers & pee, and sex. your brain does not really have that link established with random cute guy on the street. That's probibly a good thing once you take tthe time to meet someone and you become genuinely attracted to them, i immagine you will have no trouble being arroused by them

    please pardon the typos.. tablet is freaking out again

  5. #5

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    Sex and sexuality are things that I find very confusing. I just thought I'd bring that to table, because sometimes I find it helpful, if not to find answers, to at least know that I'm not the only one with the same questions.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaStarshine View Post
    I realize that there have been several threads recently about sexual identity, so please allow me to explain my question.

    It recently occurred to me that the only things that really sexually arouse me (as in, lead me to fap) are my diaper and pee fetishes. While I can feel a level of attraction towards the opposite sex, seeing a cute guy just doesn't excite me the way my kinks do. Does this sound ''normal,'' or does it mean I'm asexual or something?
    im in the same boat pretty much, the only things i get off to are diapers, wetting, and pee. even when im having sex its hard for me get fulfillment out of it, i can, but its not nearly as easy nor does it feel as good as getting off to my kinks. I'm in a relationship but its hard for my partner because he wants to have sexual intercourse, and i can't really grasp what it is that makes him want to fuck another person. For me i don't really want to have sex with other people, like i said i dont understand where the real desire and enjoyment is and fapping feels and works so much better for me. At the same time I still love him and i have a strong emotional attachment to him, but I have no sexual attachment nor desire. Sex feels more like a chore for me to where i do it once in a while because i want to make him happy, but it doesnt make me happy.

    This subject is very confusing, and i definitely understand where your coming from when you ask, "Am I Asexual?" I've asked myself this question too, and although im not 100% certain about it, i think that i do identify as asexual in some form or another. I can be attracted to either sex, but for some reason i just cant do the sex part, it does nothing for me. But, i can still develop a strong loving emotional bond with a partner and in my mind I can have a relationship like this. The problem in my current relationship though, is that my partner does not feel the exact same way and sometimes he feels emotionally hurt when i reject his physical advances. Its hard for me to distinguish who is really the one with the problem though, is it me not wanting to have sex, or is it him letting sex control him? If i think about it our relationship seems so hard, but if i dont worry about it then we have a great relationship. It is very confusing. It also makes it really hard for me to judge the state of our relationship, and come to a decision of whether to continue like we are or try and move on for a chance to find what might could be better.

  7. #7

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    I go through phases where certain material will arouse me, but it's like junk food: quick satisfaction, but leaves me empty or at least wanting more. Sexual intercourse, that physical interaction between bodies, is more like a full course meal; something to really sink your teeth into. It'll satisfy you, make you feel all warm inside, and leave you feeling full inside.

  8. #8

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    It’s not what I would call “abnormal” considering you do feel something. And asexuality is merely a label you can put on yourself based on your feelings. Even then, asexuality is an extreme of a continuum. You may find it beneficial to read the AVEN FAQ, if you haven’t done so already.

    I can somewhat relate, but a little differently. It’s strange how I've come to notice that I have never actually equated attractiveness for the classic “sexy” description… Curvy ladies with (disproportionately) large breasts, etc. Nope. (I’m physically male, straight when it comes to attraction, by the way.) It’s always been about the personality, intelligence, and to some extent aesthetic (mostly her face and hair). Strangely I didn't care about the buttocks, breasts, or much else. Is that something along the lines of what you feel (applied to someone you could be attracted to)?

    Sexual attraction is a little strange to me. I've read about studies on how men and women react to erotic images, and it seems that males have a much more pronounced physical reaction, so it may be less for you, as a woman, to think about, and from that less of a desire in general. But that’s concerning erotic images, rather than just seeing somebody and feeling an impulse to have sex with the person in question. But even for images, I find them somewhat hard to… enjoy. Maybe it’s the hardwired “moral standards” I grew up with as a child. (And I thought I lost those oppressive thoughts already.) I don’t know. All I do know is how I feel, and I feel less inclined to have sex than other people. But that doesn't mean I’m abnormal, especially in a bad way. I just have less of a chance of fulfilling my biological role in civilization.

    As for fetishes, they can be strong turn-ons, and really there's nothing wrong with that (and there's nothing "wrong" with feeling less sexually attracted either).

    So all I can really say is that you’re “normal” by my standards (and I’m "normal", too), but that doesn't mean you need to feel the same as anyone else to any extent.

    I know this topic is a "Mature Topic", but I'll still quote Luna Lovegood: “You're just as sane as I am.”

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by wasntme View Post
    It’s not what I would call “abnormal” considering you do feel something. And asexuality is merely a label you can put on yourself based on your feelings. Even then, asexuality is an extreme of a continuum. You may find it beneficial to read the AVEN FAQ, if you haven’t done so already.

    I can somewhat relate, but a little differently. It’s strange how I've come to notice that I have never actually equated attractiveness for the classic “sexy” description… Curvy ladies with (disproportionately) large breasts, etc. Nope. (I’m physically male, straight when it comes to attraction, by the way.) It’s always been about the personality, intelligence, and to some extent aesthetic (mostly her face and hair). Strangely I didn't care about the buttocks, breasts, or much else. Is that something along the lines of what you feel (applied to someone you could be attracted to)?

    Sexual attraction is a little strange to me. I've read about studies on how men and women react to erotic images, and it seems that males have a much more pronounced physical reaction, so it may be less for you, as a woman, to think about, and from that less of a desire in general. But that’s concerning erotic images, rather than just seeing somebody and feeling an impulse to have sex with the person in question. But even for images, I find them somewhat hard to… enjoy. Maybe it’s the hardwired “moral standards” I grew up with as a child. (And I thought I lost those oppressive thoughts already.) I don’t know. All I do know is how I feel, and I feel less inclined to have sex than other people. But that doesn't mean I’m abnormal, especially in a bad way. I just have less of a chance of fulfilling my biological role in civilization.

    As for fetishes, they can be strong turn-ons, and really there's nothing wrong with that (and there's nothing "wrong" with feeling less sexually attracted either).

    So all I can really say is that you’re “normal” by my standards (and I’m "normal", too), but that doesn't mean you need to feel the same as anyone else to any extent.

    I know this topic is a "Mature Topic", but I'll still quote Luna Lovegood: “You're just as sane as I am.”
    Yes, I've never felt attracted to or turned on by what would be considered masculine looks, like big muscles. I'm much more concerned about a guy's face, and definitely his hair.
    I know I also feel attracted towards shy, soft-spoken, introverted personalities.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaStarshine View Post
    I'm much more concerned about a guy's face, and definitely his hair.
    I know I also feel attracted towards shy, soft-spoken, introverted personalities.
    Funny you should say that, because I've generally thought that women liked guys who were generally "strong" enough to be the "head of the household". Sorta like the "machismo" expectation. Again, this is probably because I'm from a moderately conservative place (my oxymoronic self could not have been less subtle) with an emphasis of the man being... well the "head". Of course, society has evolved, but there still exist stereotypes that can deeply hurt someone who doesn't conform, and maybe isolate them very much.

    The people who I see as attractive are generally the "intellectuals" (the "eggheads"), but even then, there seems to be an insatiable thirst among a few of these women for guys who look tough. So I'm the loser in most all cases (so far): I'm not tough, big, confident, etc. Maybe I'm just missing it, and people do like me but never say it... In my opinion, those appearances are superficial, and (sorry to say) lead to uninformed choices when it comes to relationships.

    But this does not say much about sexual desires for a partner. It's something foreign to me. As a college student, sometimes I overhear people's (males) current "ventures"... (I hear a lot of random stuff)
    All morality and other inhibitions aside, this behavior is something I still don't understand.

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