Have you ever experienced loneliness? As in to the point where it hurt?
See, I am a 22 year old male. I go to church, I have a part time job, and I live in a house that has 7 other people inside of it. But on the inside, I am screaming. Because I legitimately have barely any friends. Most 22 year olds I know have plenty of friends and people to hang out with.
I go to work at Chick Fil A virtually every day, and the majority of employees there are in their late teens and early twenties. They all have their own little cliques and groups that they stay in during the workday. There is a girl that works there that is 18 and in college, and she absolutely turns her nose up at me whenever she walks by. When she does look at me, she does it with all the guile of acting like I am a disgusting insect that needs to be squashed. On one occasion, I was talking to a fellow co worker in the back of the store, and she blows right by me and begins talking to him, oblivious to the fact that I was even standing there. Sadly enough, many of the employees I work with are like this. Whenever the effort is made to communicate, I get simple one word answers. This one guy I attempted talking to seemingly didn't even notice me standing there, after I blabbered on for no less then a minute.
Most of the people I would love to call friends don't even live anywhere close to me. Many of them live about 45 minutes to an hour away, and all of them in virtually the same area. They get together and do things weekly, and I only hear about said activities about a week after they occur. Never before. My birthday was on August 20th, and none of them acknowledged it. One girl's birthday though, was a week after mine, and they threw her a surprise party.
It isn't just a lack of people, though. 2 years ago, I was in college, and suffered a severe mental breakdown, so I had to leave. It has been 2 years, and I feel cheated. A lot of people I was in school with have already gone on and gotten their Bachelor's degrees, and nice jobs, while I'm still working fast food and living with my parents. I have $6,000 in debt that I have to pay back, which pretty much got me nowhere. My high school class reunion is next year, and what honestly do I have to show for the 4 years it has been since high school? 2 fast food jobs and a lot of debt. Oh boy.
Last night at work, I felt so alone, and could shouldered, that I almost started to cry. It was an overwhelming feeling of exasperation, and loneliness. I just really needed to know that I'm not he only one out there who feels this way, even at my age. I have to leave for work, so I can't reply for the rest of the day. But any responses I get would be greatly appreciated. Anyone can feel free to comment, I want to hear from everyone.