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Thread: Have you ever felt alone?

  1. #1

    Default Have you ever felt alone?

    Hello folks.

    Have you ever experienced loneliness? As in to the point where it hurt?

    See, I am a 22 year old male. I go to church, I have a part time job, and I live in a house that has 7 other people inside of it. But on the inside, I am screaming. Because I legitimately have barely any friends. Most 22 year olds I know have plenty of friends and people to hang out with.

    I go to work at Chick Fil A virtually every day, and the majority of employees there are in their late teens and early twenties. They all have their own little cliques and groups that they stay in during the workday. There is a girl that works there that is 18 and in college, and she absolutely turns her nose up at me whenever she walks by. When she does look at me, she does it with all the guile of acting like I am a disgusting insect that needs to be squashed. On one occasion, I was talking to a fellow co worker in the back of the store, and she blows right by me and begins talking to him, oblivious to the fact that I was even standing there. Sadly enough, many of the employees I work with are like this. Whenever the effort is made to communicate, I get simple one word answers. This one guy I attempted talking to seemingly didn't even notice me standing there, after I blabbered on for no less then a minute.

    Most of the people I would love to call friends don't even live anywhere close to me. Many of them live about 45 minutes to an hour away, and all of them in virtually the same area. They get together and do things weekly, and I only hear about said activities about a week after they occur. Never before. My birthday was on August 20th, and none of them acknowledged it. One girl's birthday though, was a week after mine, and they threw her a surprise party.

    It isn't just a lack of people, though. 2 years ago, I was in college, and suffered a severe mental breakdown, so I had to leave. It has been 2 years, and I feel cheated. A lot of people I was in school with have already gone on and gotten their Bachelor's degrees, and nice jobs, while I'm still working fast food and living with my parents. I have $6,000 in debt that I have to pay back, which pretty much got me nowhere. My high school class reunion is next year, and what honestly do I have to show for the 4 years it has been since high school? 2 fast food jobs and a lot of debt. Oh boy.

    Last night at work, I felt so alone, and could shouldered, that I almost started to cry. It was an overwhelming feeling of exasperation, and loneliness. I just really needed to know that I'm not he only one out there who feels this way, even at my age. I have to leave for work, so I can't reply for the rest of the day. But any responses I get would be greatly appreciated. Anyone can feel free to comment, I want to hear from everyone.

    DareYouToMove.

  2. #2

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    DareYouToMove,

    I pretty much was in the same boat so to say I have worked retail jobs since I was 15 I am 28 now. I dont have alot of friends where I am living right now. At one point I was working 3 jobs had no life and was tired all the time. In dec of 2012 I said enough and moved to wash to be with a friend who was an ab, well that was a bad idea cause he has no time in his life for me so I felt alone and I pretty much left what friends I had to come to be with him for it all to blow up in my face.

    After that I put myself threw truck driving school and now make a comfy living with still not having many friends. Sometimes thou I feel like hermit but maybe I like it that way cause I dont have to impress anyone you know. At my highschool reunion I saw friends that I was not a friend with before now we text back at least once a month.

    So i guess what I was trying to say is your never alone even thou is feels like you are.

    I hope I helped alittle bit with out sounding negitive

  3. #3

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    hello DareyoutoMove! that was a pretty good introductory post you made there in fact it was WAY better then even mine! i am going to recommend that we use it as an example on what to say for the first time to Moo or somebody. at any rate you will find that making friends here will be quite easy. i see that you are a diaper lover like me and i was wondering if you could tell me what other interests or hobbies your into to? i am also into going to church and doing volunteer activities as well. as for that girl who treats you like crap well just ignore her you can do better then her i think and she is not worth thinking about! in all honesty i know how you feel too i myself was suffering at your age and i never really got better until about 2012 when i finally got on disability.(i have aspergers a form of autism) i am glad that i had this rare opportunity to let you know you are NOT alone and that you can be yourself here. please feel free to tell all of us here on ADISC whatever you want about yourself.

    Sincerely
    Diaper lover accept
    Last edited by giantguy99; 12-Oct-2013 at 20:00. Reason: spelling

  4. #4

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    Yes, I have to second Astra. It's time to make a change. I'm a church musician, and the right church can provide you with more accepting people, even those who would be your age. I'm not impressed with Chick fil a anyway. Anyplace that makes a public stand against homosexuality would not invite warm, friendly and accepting people.

    Some work places are not good places for making friends. Find some outside interests that involve more intelligent people. I go to church, bike, write and read, have played in bands, and get myself out there. Try something new.

  5. #5

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    I will admit there are times I feel alone but I try not to dwell on it and focus rather on the happy things in my life. I admit there are times where I feel so alone because I am distant from my family in some ways and a lot of my friends have moved from where I live to other places. So I know the feelings. I also feel left out a lot sometimes when friends forget I too might want to be included in things and I get frustrated by that. It makes you sometimes wonder where you stand in the grand scheme of things if you ask me.

    I know your feelings... deal with them on occasions myself but have learned to focus on other things and not to try to focus on it much.

    I think part of it is I know I should go out more but I've turned into a real homebody lately because I've finally gotten comfortable in my home. Last time I really did anything was with my softball team I head-coach during the summer. I haven't done much since and I also don't always hear from friends. I'm usually the one that has to make the approach to do something sometimes but that's life...

    I too; know these feelings myself.

    WildThing121675

  6. #6

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    Many of my good friends have also moved on, have their masters degrees, and now have good paying jobs. I am very happy for them but I was in the same boat as you after I left college. One of my best friends is still around but if it weren't for him, I would be pretty alone too. But one great way to make friends I have found that works is to find people near where you live that have a common interest as you. Becoming part of a fandom of something you like is an awesome way to make new friends. Either it be through music, art, or the best one, a favorite tv show. I have been in the Brony fandom for almost 3 years now and it is honestly one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I have made a ton of new friends, I can name at least 5 that I hang out with on a regular basis. The artwork and music in the fandom is incredible, plus the show (MLP Friendship is Magic) itself is honestly one of the best shows I have ever seen (next to Breaking Bad of coarse). I never believed I would be in a fandom for a show for younger girls, but here I am. So my advice to you would be find your niche, and seek other people with the same common interest.

  7. #7

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    I have been through the dead-end-job situation before. I actually walked out half way through my shift while at the 'Co-Op', which is a crappy little supermarket chain in the UK. I found myself unemployed for 3 months before I found another job, which is a little bit better and pays better too.

    Now, I am not advocating walking out of the job, because that left me in serious financial problems for a short while. But you need to start searching for another job now, this Chick-fil-A place you work at sounds damaging to your mental health, just like working at the Co-Op was to me.

    Retail and fast food chains do not treat their workers very well on many occasions. The pay is bad, the hours are rubbish, and you usually work with undesirable types more interested in gossiping and bitching rather than treating people like human beings. I know this first hand, and so do you. Shop around for a full time job, even if it is something that may not sound desirable to you. Take a risk. You may find a new passion.

    I am the same age as you, and I do not have a college degree either. I was also in a shitty job with bitchy lunatics, and like you, I was in debt. But when I started my new job, I made a short term plan on clearing debt and picking myself up again. It is possible, never give up.

    So just to summarise- when you get home from Chick-Fil-A, put on a fresh clean diaper, relax your mind, and update your résumé/CV. Sell yourself as a good, reliable potential employee. Remember, you have customer service experience from Chick-Fil-A and I am assuming you have some food handling/catering experience too.

    Hand out your résumé and ask for application forms, find a new job and gradually pay off your debt. When you are debt-free you can perhaps start to focus on something more career-specific.

    Confidence is key. You can do it!
    Now get out there and show the world what you have got!!

    *smacks padded butt*

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by RouteLeader View Post



    Retail and fast food chains do not treat their workers very well on many occasions. The pay is bad, the hours are rubbish, and you usually work with undesirable types more interested in gossiping and bitching rather than treating people like human beings.



    So just to summarise- when you get home from Chick-Fil-A, put on a fresh clean diaper, relax your mind, and update your résumé/CV. Sell yourself as a good, reliable potential employee. Remember, you have customer service experience from Chick-Fil-A and I am assuming you have some food handling/catering experience too.


    Confidence is key. You can do it!
    Now get out there and show the world what you have got!!

    *smacks padded butt*
    Truer words have never been spoken. I really appreciate this. Honestly, most of the time I cannot wait to get home just so I can put on a fresh diaper! Last night, I put one on for the first time in a few days, and it felt so nice I just wanted to sleep and never wake up!

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by WildThing121675 View Post
    I will admit there are times I feel alone but I try not to dwell on it and focus rather on the happy things in my life. I admit there are times where I feel so alone because I am distant from my family in some ways and a lot of my friends have moved from where I live to other places. So I know the feelings. I also feel left out a lot sometimes when friends forget I too might want to be included in things and I get frustrated by that. It makes you sometimes wonder where you stand in the grand scheme of things if you ask me.





    WildThing121675
    Exactly the way that I feel. I felt a lot better when I read this.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by GryphonGuy View Post
    I have been in the Brony fandom for almost 3 years now )
    This show was recommended to me so many times, but I haven't watched it yet.

  9. #9

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    Wow after reading what you wrote here I can honestly say I'm in and have been in pretty much the same boat as you and for about the same length of time too.I mean like you I had a severe mental breakdown which caused me to leave college and all the friends made there and when I got back home most of the friends I had at home had already moved on too and I was basically just left alone and forgotten by everyone around me and it can get very overwhelming and terrible feeling to have.

    And if you aren't really happy with working at Chick-Fil-A then don't settle for it because it really sounds like your job is just making you feel ignored and/or alone so why not try applying to other places so you can find a work place that suits you and makes you feel happy.Because everyone deserves to be happy and the happier you are the better you'll feel.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by DareYouToMove View Post
    Last night at work, I felt so alone, and could shouldered, that I almost started to cry. It was an overwhelming feeling of exasperation, and loneliness. I just really needed to know that I'm not he only one out there who feels this way, even at my age. I have to leave for work, so I can't reply for the rest of the day. But any responses I get would be greatly appreciated. Anyone can feel free to comment, I want to hear from everyone.
    I feel like I could relate, but maybe differently...

    I think I've only celebrated my birthday with friends (non-family) about nine or ten out of the 18 years I have spent on Earth...

    Friends talk about stuff they did the past week, and say I should join in when I don't have the means (a car) or time (freedom)...

    People have called me cold and unwelcoming, and in turn I'm isolated. In reality, I'm quite warm once you get to know me. It's not that I want to avoid relationships... It's just that I want a different kind of relationship: one where we can sit down once every weekend and chat about stuff we like and still be very good friends. People say I'm not dedicated enough to deserve relationships. I think that's unfair, and I have proof to the contrary: a good friend of mine who DOES talk to me every Sunday, whom I go out to lunch with (at a fancy, fancy, dining hall)...

    Maybe I'm just a hopeless, anti-social geek...

    College has been extremely different and at one point (that was within a month of arriving...) I was very depressed and anxious: headaches, panic, etc. Long naps became a (very time consuming and) temporary solution... The extreme emotion started to clear after visiting home and having good conversations with my parents. Because of the overwhelming concerns, my dad actually gave me the option to stay home for a couple years instead of studying away from home... I declined heartily, but I did seek help, per my own concerns regarding sleep issues and school performance, and the suggestions of a friend...

    I used to do so well in high school, with some effort. I'm struggling to make a passing grade right now. I've tried to be more prepared for exams, to consistently do homework, but the load seems too much to bear...

    You aren't the only one who feels this way, but know also that no one person is the same as another. Sorry for not having any advice...

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