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Thread: Baby Feelings...

  1. #1

    Default Baby Feelings...

    Lately, my AB feelings have been getting stronger and stronger for some reason. Not sure why on that but that's because I've generally kept myself from letting the AB side get too much attention over the past few years but they have gotten stronger.

    I've tried everything to deal with them... but finding someone to talk to is kind of like a giant crapshoot. I've never had much luck in being the baby as I usually am the daddy in most cases- I made a post recently and I wanted to explain WHY I made the diaperbook account-

    I made the account because a friend of mine suggested it and I generally- avoid places like diaperspace, diaperbook and ABDL match due to the high contingency of game-players, con-artists, liars, cheats and professionals looking for new clients. However, I only did it because I kind of feel I'm at my wit's end with baby feelings.

    I have never had much luck with finding someone to talk to about them, I've tried to talk to other ABs but with little success.

    I'm at a point in my life where I'd like to talk to someone that understands it- not a psychiatrist- not a professional but someone who can help me deal with the AB feelings and kind of in a way- let me be the baby as I grow weary of being the daddy and so forth. THAT'S why I signed up with diaperbook and ultimately made the other post out of frustration.

    I have been around the ABDL community since at least '99 when I got my first dial-up internet computer and I have met some good people, some cons- liars and cheats but mostly cons, liars and cheats- and I as a rule avoid sleazy places but as I said- at my wit's end with the baby feelings.

    I don't want to give up being an AB, but I'd like to find someone to talk to and someone who understands it. I have AB friends, but I don't know how to approach it without maybe jeopardizing friendships. I am an honest soul, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I don't play games or spam people. I am a person who takes honesty seriously... cause I don't want to get hurt or hurt anyone else.

    So- how do you al deal with these AB feelings when you have no one to talk to about it or whatever? I know I should have done things differently in a previous post but that post was out of anger and frustration and not attention-seeking- I have a habit of being a reactionary when I'm in a bad mood.

    I have a problem with handling things sometimes- especially when I get angry like I was the other night- I am not one to play games, spam or con someone because I believe in being a person, not a creep or whatever...


  2. #2


    I'm sorry you are feeling frustrated and confused. I know it is really hard to not be able to talk to many people about your little side, what is it that you can't talk to your other AB friends about that would ruin your relationship with them? Or is it because they look at you as a daddy? I am sure that only getting to be the daddy has been really tiring. I can't really see how mommies or daddies really want to be that without being married to the AB, otherwise it seems like it would just be exhausting. I personally feel like it is important to switch roles or both be babies together, but i haven't really been in the situation to test that thought. Anyway, if you need somebody to talk to, id be happy to message you back.

  3. #3


    Hey WildThing121675,

    If it's any consolation, I have had some of the same feelings and a somewhat similar experience, just different circumstance.

    First, here is a little about what I have experienced so you know where I'm coming from:
    I have had a care taker before, when I found him originally I was not looking for a "relationship". I was just hoping for someone to non-sexually care for me. It worked out great at first, he respected all of my boundaries, we talked all the time, and we actually formed a nice emotional bond. The thing was, he began to fall in love, I didn't go for it at first because I wasn't in a place in my life where I wanted a relationship. Eventually when I was ready, we started dating. So I had a taste of what it was like to have a care taker and a relationship partner.

    This kind of changed my outlook on dating (I didn't realize it until just recently though). My whole life I have always been very independent, and never felt like I "needed" to be in a relationship to be happy. After I got a taste of what it was like to have a care taker and a relationship partner at the same time, that was what I wanted. The problem for me was that I wasn't separating the two different things in my mind; wanting a care taker and wanting a relationship partner (I keep saying relationship partner because I am pansexual, but to save space, let me say "Boyfriend" for this post.)

    This caused a lot of confusion and self destructive behavior for me recently. It is extremely hard to find a daddy that is "boyfriend material" because it is such a specific thing. If you are not careful, you will find yourself throwing yourself at the first person who says they are a care taker. That can lead you into the arms of someone who is either

    -Not someone you would ever normally date if you weren't into ab/dl
    -Someone who is lying to you, or has ulterior motives (In your case, the women want money, in my case, the men want to slap me around. I'll explain that in a bit)
    -Doesn't emotionally care about you, or worse

    In my situation, I found a lot of men who called themselves Daddy's. Now, I understand the whole "Dom Daddy" dynamic, and I am not trying to offend anyone into it or BDSM, but I certainly was not looking for a BDSM type of daddy.. Then I ran into a lot of swingers, or guys who were willing to "Do anything I wanted" because they wanted a girlfriend or someone to hook up with so badly. Basically I was just running into overly aggressive or guys that were just looking for a hook up.

    When you start to feel like you are in desperation or are just feeling horribly discouraged about finding somebody, you need to take a step back. That is my first best piece of advice.

    Since taking a step back and thinking about it, I personally, realized I don't actually want a "boyfriend" right now. There are times where I want a care taker or a daddy though, but I still never think of myself as someone who "needs" a boyfriend. I just got so caught up in wanting a care taker that I confused myself.

    The next thing I had to ask myself was "How much of my enjoyment of ABDL is based off of having a care taker?" <-- the best thing I ever did for myself was to ask this question. It has helped tremendously. It has helped because it has opened my eyes to exploring all the ways I can enjoy regression and being a baby without a care taker.

    I completely understand that there are those moments that it gets so lonely not having a care taker. I understand that there are times when babying yourself and regressing alone can get lonely/boring/discouraging. I think I remember on your other thread you said something about wanting to give up ABDL. I understand there are moments that it can get so lonely, that you think you want to give it up.

    I had the same thoughts.

    What I really wanted was to be less alone in AB/DL. You said you wanted to talk to someone about it. Well, you can talk to me
    You know a lot more about my experiences and feelings, maybe you feel like we can relate on some level, or that maybe I would understand?

    I am a great listener ^_^

    I have been doing a lot better, and I have been exploring positive ways to feel less lonely in AB/DL. I have since made AB friends on other websites, and actually made a really cute connection with an age play couple that lives near me. They have sort of adopted me into their age play family (They're daddy and daughter, so I would be niece/cousin to them. It's non sexual, we're just friends) and I am also going to my first munch in less than a week! =D

    This has made me feel way less stressed out and pressured to find a care taker, and also I have a lot more outlets for my AB side! I am still exploring more outlets for myself and making sure ABDL is a positive thing, not a painful and lonely thing.

    Anyways (now that I have typed you a novel) I hope that made you feel a little less alone, or helped a little bit (:

    If you need somebody to talk to, please feel free to reach out to me! I will listen and try to help the best I can!


  4. #4


    This is a pretty major theme for you. Most posts I've seen from you in the past couple of months are along these lines. I think, by going back through your history, what's going on is that you were wronged and treated unfairly by an AB girl. You were not given equal time. You were basically used to caregive. This has left you upset and resentful. Your AB feelings grew and grew, almost because they had been ignored so blatantly by at least one person, or maybe two people. And then on top of that, when you attempted to quench the AB thirst, you were instead shown the seedy underworld of scammers who take advantage of lonely men.

    What's happening now is sort of a mental cry of wanting to be paid back for all those times you were never given the chance to be an AB with your last partner. All those checks and balances have you on the ground, now thinking that at least someone owes you love and care, for all the love and care you gave out in the past. That girl didn't give you what you believe you were owed. But it's not up to another person to give you that, now, just because you were wronged in the past. With another person, you'd start out with a clean slate. That other person can not give you what the last person owed. It doesn't work like that.

    The problem, though, is that you are coming off as desperate at this point. Because, in all fairness, you are rather desperate to explore that side of yourself, and explore what it feels like to have your AB side cared for. But desperation is a turn off to people. It's a bad cycle! The more desperate you sound, the more people turn away, and the more desperate you become. So I think you need to take the losses and start fresh. Give what happened with that last girl some kind of conclusion; some kind of closure. Things have to be 'even' again. This is happening to you, because you feel out of balance.

    Even before I met someone I ageplay with, I never was really into anyone approaching me, asking for a mommy. I would never offer to caregive to people who posted about wanting a mommy. It was some kind of automatic turn-off for me. And it might seem that way to other potential caregivers out there. I was the one who approached the person I ageplay with. Just like you hated being used, I also didn't want to be used.

    In my opinion, to really get the full effect of a nice ageplay, you want to be with someone you cares about you rather than someone you'd pay to care about you. It would feel artificial and insincere. It would be worse than not getting your dream at all, having your emotions used for cash. Probably, it would be best to be friends, first. But I still sense a great desperation in this thread, even though you're saying you're now looking for friends. What I'm reading between the lines, and maybe I'm wrong, is that you're looking for female caregiving friends who might hopefully be a mommy one day. If you value them based on your future goals, you're not really valuing them, but your own imagination, and that's a bad way to make friends. Correct me if I am wrong, though WT.

    I do sincerely wish you the best. I really think the best thing to do is start from scratch. Do not think the world owes you this due to the actions of that girl. What's done is done. You care for your little side and love him. Eventually, especially when you are on more stable ground, I think you could maybe find what you're looking for... when you stop looking for it.

  5. #5


    I will admit I am somewhat resentful but I feel the world doesn't owe me anything as I've got a lot to be grateful for... it is just the fact I've had a harder and harder time dealing with emerging baby feelings and I have to admit as of late- I take a bottle to bed with me more and more, use a pacifier or when I am on my couch, cuddle with Dee Dee- my whale- and suck my thumb whilst I watch TV- not cartoons by the way but adult shows like Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Dallas, Major Crimes and others I can mention- baseball, movies- etc-.

    I'm not sure why these feelings are emerging more and more but maybe part of it is pent-up and I've not had an outlet for in some time. Some time ago- years ago I had a mommy figure but she disappeared on me back about around 2005 or so.

    Part of it does have to do with the fact I have had to be the daddy in online RP when I want to be little myself. It gets frustrating... that was why I took my friend's advice and tried diaperbook. My friend met a girl on there and he thought it might work for me- but for me I just well- ya all know... UGH.

    I just have gotten to the point where there are times I want to be little and just let my mind escape from adulthood. Adulthood sucks when you have the emotional capacities of a 10-year-old due to Aspergers and you have the physical disabilities that I do- not sure if most know but I do have CP and a hearing loss- and if someone wants proof- I am willing to Skype or video chat to show proof- cause I don't lie about that shit. My adulthood has been tough on me as I had to grow up fast when I was kicked out of the house and go out on my own before I was ready to due to conflicts with my father.

    Thanks again for the kind words... ADISC does help me with my feelings sometimes...


    I have been thinking about this particular post for a bit and I know I have probably come off a bit desperate but that's only because I just have been wanting to just lose control for a bit- regress and it is a bit difficult to do by myself because people stop over, friends stop over, neighbors stop over and family always interrupts me- so I never really get a lot of time to just regress... I apologize to you all if I came off somewhat desperate.

    Being an AB is a difficult thing for some and I am now finding out where I stand in things. The reason I had made the last topic I did was out of frustration and anger- In hindsight I probably shouldn't have made that post but sometimes when you feel like you're at your wit's end you just get desperate and come across as a loser- dumb-ass and I hate that because I don't see myself as that. I've made huge strides in my personal life since I was diagnosed with AS in '04- PROFESSIONALY by the way- and I've learned to use other hobbies as an outlet to deal with things. Spending times with my obsessions does help and keeping to routines helps- I LOVE routine...

    Yet- part of me still wants to be a baby... and I can't stand having those feelings at times. I do apologize though for toes I may have stepped on with my other topic...
    Last edited by WildThing121675; 06-Oct-2013 at 10:01.

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