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Thread: Honesty- and why I HATE the AB community sometimes- a rant

  1. #1

    Default Honesty- and why I HATE the AB community sometimes- a rant

    I know this might be a blog thing or whatever but I have- I HAVE to rant. I joined Diaperbook as a way to try to find a mommy-figure and guess what- I got contacted off the bat by one who wanted me to join her website and as soon as I told her I wouldn't- surprise-surprise- she cut me off!

    I am SO fucking sick of losers, posers, liars, con-artists, game-players and those that just aren't fucking honest with me. I'm tired of it- SICK AND EFFING TIRED OF IT!

    This has gone on for some time and I just hate it. I'm a person who is honest about who I am and I don't spend money willy-nilly as I'm paranoid about money.

    I don't know why; but I seem to usually run into the seedy underbelly of our community and I am fucking tired of it. Tired of it enough to just hang up the diapers and just go on. However... part of me feels like something is out there for me. I just hate running into the seedy underbelly of our community. It's continuous bad luck or whatever I guess- but I am tired of it.

    If something seems too good to be true- avoid it. UGH. I should have known something was afoot as she was being all sympathetic and trying to play honest with me. I am just sick of running into these types. UGH. Never rains but it sure as shit pours on me in the AB world.

    Pardon my language- I'm just rather frustrated right now and sick of running into the seedy underbelly of our lifestyle and community!

    WildThing121675

    Always seems to happen to me... not sure why- just want to meet people who are flipping HONEST for once and not game players, con-artists, cheats, liars and out for a fucking profit!

  2. #2

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    Mostly mommy figure in ABDL community are payment and I know it suck but really hard find honest true mommy in this community what so all it like finding nailed in hay stack.

  3. #3

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    You forgot the people who want to exploit us by making us pay them to be our mommies. It's disgraceful.
    I call people who do this Fetish Whores.

  4. #4

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    Its not just you that run into crap like this. Its just a lot of people looking to exploit Places like diaper book are full of them, that is why i tend to stay away from those diaper meetup/dating sites anymore.

  5. #5

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    And you can add ABDLMatch to that list too. I put my contact details in my profile when I was there because you have to pay to reply to messages, and obviously all those idiots never read my profile because they were still contacting me through the site.

    So that says a lot...

  6. #6

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    No offense, but what did you expect?

    In all honesty, besides that you anyway sound like you know this fact obviously, if you're looking for this kind of thing in any way - you'll exactly find what you have found.

    Everyone who's around in this community for some time knows this. This also counts for other kink orientated communities, or also non-kink related stuff. If there is a demand for something, there will be a service for it, in any possible way. And of course those people will try to lure you ;). If you would earn your money for living this way you'd do that too probably to get costumers.
    Besides that some people surely enjoy this too. I still don't know why exactly... but it's that way.

    The only thing I can say is stop looking for what you seek in this way. Either way quit it, since it barely works at all or think about how you can do it different, so that you don't end up with this kind of people. It's also very much based on the website itself... Adisc is no meeting/munch site, only support, hence nearly none of those people, or they have to respect the rules. Which I'm glad for to be honest.

    Just sayin'

  7. #7

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    It does seem some of us have run into the scum of the earth in trying to find some one who really understands us. It is not the Ab/DL community , but those would prey on us. The real Mommies and Daddies are not in it for the money , but the caring for another person. These people seem to be very hard to find.

    It does seem that we want some one so badly that we just at the first person that comes a long.

    We only want caring and loving, That is what everyone wants. We need special kind of loving and caring, this were our problem lays.

    The lack of understanding by the outside world , has made us look like freaks many times.

    Some o us are to trusting and that is when we get hurt.

  8. #8

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    Face it, AB/DL is considered a fetish so it will be treated as such. I have seen other costs for things like phone sex and porn and other things so of course people will use this to make money. They see you want a mommy so they think of it as sexual and think they can make money off you because it's a business they run, they are not looking for a relationship and don't want one with you. Do people use transgender for money or bisexuals or homosexuals by trying to charge them to pay to read a message or something on dating websites for trans and homosexuals and bi? Sadly diapers are not viewed the same way.

    Only way to find a mommy or daddy is going out and meeting people and maybe they will be your mommy. Just don't try and find a mommy because then it's creepy to get a PM from someone role playing saying they have been a bad boy or need their diaper changed or just sending you a PM saying they are looking for a mommy. How does that come off as? That creeps most women out.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    Do people use transgender for money or bisexuals or homosexuals by trying to charge them to pay to read a message or something on dating websites for trans and homosexuals and bi? Sadly diapers are not viewed the same way.

    Only way to find a mommy or daddy is going out and meeting people and maybe they will be your mommy. Just don't try and find a mommy because then it's creepy to get a PM from someone role playing saying they have been a bad boy or need their diaper changed or just sending you a PM saying they are looking for a mommy. How does that come off as? That creeps most women out.
    Actually yeah, trans women are treated as a fetish for many, many men, and there are lots of porn/cam sites and 'dating' sites like that. Without getting into the details on that (I could write a book about it), diapers are also considered a fetish for lots of people (and again, lots of men). So there are going to be sites that cater to that fetish.

    It sounds like the actual fetish (what I would call the DL part of ABDL) is being conflated with the non-sexual side (the AB side), or otherwise the DL side is just way overrepresented. If you wanna use trans people as an example again, there are many guys who just want to have sex with a trans woman. No relationship, no emotional connexion, just sexual acts, the trans woman is a fetish object. There are also guys who happen to be attracted to trans women, who don't view them as a fetish object. They may want to date trans women, but their primary motive isn't sex. The first set of guys are analogous to DL guys, and the second set AB guys. Some just want sex and porn and whatever, and others want a relationship and a real connexion.

    For whatever reason, there's a huge market for the first group. It can make lots of money, whatever. The people who provide those services aren't looking for ABs, they're looking for DLs. Why aren't there people looking for ABs? I'm sure there are, it's just that they aren't as visible. Speaking from experience (and using the trans example since it parallels really well), it's pretty hard to date as a visible trans woman. There are dozens upon dozens of people who would only want to use me for sex. It's really hard to separate those who want an actual relationship, and those who want to fake a relationship to be with 'a girl with something more'. I imagine it's similar for women who want to date in the AB world. It's been so sexualised that it's just hard to tell. Most of the avenues open are already flooded by women in that first category, so it's useless to go through those routes - it really takes a lot of your options away.

    That all said, there are some smaller options to meet other like-minded people. Munches are a really good way to meet other people, make friends with the same interests, and maybe find a partner. I think Fetlife is pretty good for that. (It's an over-18 website, so it may not be kosher to suggest that here, but I stand by it as a good option.) There are local munches everywhere for littles (and their partners, and caregivers), and it's not all about sex, it's about socialising. There's still probably going to be a skewed ratio of men to women, but that's just the way it is.

  10. #10

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    Although I haven't really pursued this myself, I know others who have and from their experience, I can say that there are lots of caring people out there (of varying degrees of suitability). This should tell you that there's something wrong in your approach. I have seen people like you describe here (briefly) and on other sites and they seem pretty easy to spot. Anyone who advertises themselves as a caregiver (as opposed to merely identifying as one or mentioning it in passing) is suspect to me. If you're looking for a transaction, these people will do you fine but clearly that's not your goal. You're looking for a relationship, it's just one that either solely involves caregiving or includes it. The rules for seeking relationships still apply. Understand that there aren't going to be a lot of shortcuts in this and I think you'll do better.

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