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Thread: Looking for advice

  1. #1

    Default Looking for advice

    Hi everyone, Jacob here.

    I was hoping to get some advice on safe roleplaying and meeting people for the first time. Ive decided I want to meet someone to try roleplaying, however I would like to keep it non-sexual except for the occasional diaper change. Should i allow diaper changing on first meeting or should i just keep it to childish playing. How do I let this person know my boundaries without scaring them off. As far as i know the person i'm meeting isn't experienced being a caretaker but is interested in it.

    Please let know if you have any questions for me, im having trouble putting my words together. If anyone could suggest activities to do, how long duration should be etc... etc... it would be very appreciated

    thankyou

    -Jacob-

  2. #2

    Default

    I may be overly 'safe', but unless you already know this person very well (in real life, not just from chatting/emailing online), then I wouldn't do any RPing in real life on the first meeting. Meet somewhere safe, in public and just get to know the person for real. Make sure that you have more in common than just wanting to do ABDL roleplaying. Build a real life relationship before building a RP relationship. Any RPing with someone in real life takes a lot of trust. Trust that they won't do stuff to you you are not comfortable with. Trust that they won't take pictures and blackmail you. Trust that you will both be able to enjoy the RPing.

    It would probably be best to meet the person at a group meeting, munch, conference etc. first, if there is one close by. But if not.... just go out to eat, go play miniature golf, watch a movie... etc. Something like a first date of sorts. Only once you get to know them a little better and have built a real life relationship and some trust, then you can go in to the RPing.

    And for that part, you would probably need someone else's advice on. I have never experienced Real Life RPing.

    - - - Updated - - -

    There is also a lot of good information in the following ADISC Article....
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/content/1...ngs-abdls.html

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by PaddedBoyJacob View Post
    Hi everyone, Jacob here.

    I was hoping to get some advice on safe roleplaying and meeting people for the first time. Ive decided I want to meet someone to try roleplaying, however I would like to keep it non-sexual except for the occasional diaper change. Should i allow diaper changing on first meeting or should i just keep it to childish playing. How do I let this person know my boundaries without scaring them off. As far as i know the person i'm meeting isn't experienced being a caretaker but is interested in it.

    Please let know if you have any questions for me, im having trouble putting my words together. If anyone could suggest activities to do, how long duration should be etc... etc... it would be very appreciated

    thankyou

    -Jacob-
    I would echo what LilMonkeyAlex has said...you've got basically three issues here...

    An In-Person meet up...with someone you haven't met before...in person... There's enough in that scenario alone to start with...

    RPing...which I assume is Role Playing, perhaps regressing...or going fur...?
    The possibility of intimate contact...whether it be carefully done diaper handling...or whatever else may transpire...you don't either one know for sure how you'll feel/react to any one of these situations...let alone all three combined...which I would not recommend doing for some time...until, after getting to know, trust, and otherwise be comfortable with each-other in person first...

    I'm sure you're excited, eager, nervous, etc...But, for both of your sake...slow-down, take a deep breath, and think this through...

    Experience, and hopefully enjoy...each little bit at a time...rushing this might force either one or both of you into hiding...

    Go have a coffee, or something, and no matter how jazzed you feel from that...postpone the rest for another time...

    Best of luck to you,
    -Marka
    Last edited by HogansHeroes; 03-Oct-2013 at 06:07. Reason: purple is for moderator use

  4. #4

    Default

    I will only parroting LilMonkey and Marka but, try to be 100% sure of the person you are RP-ing with.

    I won't detail the bad experiences I had but what should have been good moments turned into bad memories, just because I was careless not to fix boundaries first with someone, I only realized now, I barely knew.

    Try some casual meeting first. And try to avoid diaper change right away especially if you're both inexperienced. Diaper changes are (at least for me), the moment where you are the most vulnerable to the one caring for you. If you know he/she will never go beyond the boundaries you set, it will help you a lot and prevent you from bad to very bad experiences.

    and this :


    Go have a coffee, or something, and no matter how jazzed you feel from that...postpone the rest for another time...
    I wish someone would have told me this a long time ago.

    We may sound a bit suspicious but you're better safe than sorry.

    After meeting at least once casually, try to set rules and boundaries for BOTH of you and ask each other what you are looking for (what type of activities you would enjoy) and what is a No-No like :
    - you can prepare a bottle for me but I prefer to feed myself.
    - You're in total control regarding what I would be wearing around the house, but for the moment I will be changing alone.
    and on the other side :
    - I can change diapers but no n2.
    - I prefer if we take some breaks from time to time.
    etc.
    A safe word could be a plus. (at first, I thought it was silly, but it's actually far easier to say than "please, I want to stop")

    Discussing all this will help you know what you're both looking for. Even if you have to make compromises, It will help to put both of you at ease.

    To sum up:
    1) Establish complete trust first. Never engage in RP with someone you only speak to in front of a computer.
    2) Fix limits and boundaries clearly. you both have some.
    3) Don't be too hasty.

  5. #5

    Default

    Good advice thus far. I know some people fast track this kind of thing but I think it's more common for those who are more experienced. So far, I've needed to be friends with anyone I've done any caregiving with. Start with coffee or lunch, walk, talk, go to movies, etc. Just treat it like you're trying to make a new friend. You can certainly talk about things you'd like to do or boundaries but I think it's also a good thing to be able to interact enjoyably on other subjects. I think building some emotional closeness helps make the experience more natural when you finally get down to it.

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