I just want to start by saying sorry if I've already spoken about this, my memory fails me at times.
I don't really know how to talk about this subject to be completely honest with you. It's something I have been thinking about for a few years and haven't looked in to very much. I was also thinking that since this seems like a very friendly community and very helpful that I would share my problem so to speak and see what you guys think.
As you might already know if you have read any of my other blogs, I have problems with my bowels which my doctor described as a "mega colon" and in 2002 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor on the pituitary gland and one resting on the optical nerves. After all of the treatment I have been left with short term memory loss and problems with my balance. I'm also on lifetime medication as my pituitary gland is no longer working. My confidence is pretty much none existing and it's been like that for as long as I can remember.
So here's where my main question starts and I apologize if I've been coming across as whiny, that wasn't my plan. For about 2-3 years I have been thinking about using diapers to help with day to day life, everything from easing worry about getting to the toilet on time if I'm having a bad day with my stomach, helping me to feel protected against everything (as strange as it might sound, I'm not on about toilet troubles) and basically helping me to feel in control of any situation I'm in.
I had spoken to my doctor about this last year at some point but put it in a lot less detail. I had asked her if she knew anyone who had tried something a bit different to help with the issues I am having. The response I got was the usual Can't discuss individual cases but I could try and help. Anyway I felt embarrassed and said it's ok I was just wondering.
The only person I have really talked to about it was a close friend of mine who I can trust my life with. After changing subject a few times I finally spoke about this idea, her response was neutral and I was advised to have a look online about it because she wasn't too sure what to say. That's when I found this amazing website.
So my questions are:
- Is it normal to want to wear to help boost confidence and reassure my self that everything is okay?
- Who can/should I talk to about it?
- If I talk to my parents or doctors about it, how do I put my point across without sounding strange?
I know it might be a strange subject to talk about and if/when I talk to people about it I know I won't get the best reaction. I don't identify my self as AB/DL (but I don't really know what I am looking for on that part) and I don't really know where these thoughts come from.
I would appreciate any feedback, even if it's just someone telling me to shut the hell up lol.