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Thread: I want to wear diapers for issues other than problems with my bowels

  1. #1

    Question I want to wear diapers for issues other than problems with my bowels

    I just want to start by saying sorry if I've already spoken about this, my memory fails me at times.

    I don't really know how to talk about this subject to be completely honest with you. It's something I have been thinking about for a few years and haven't looked in to very much. I was also thinking that since this seems like a very friendly community and very helpful that I would share my problem so to speak and see what you guys think.

    As you might already know if you have read any of my other blogs, I have problems with my bowels which my doctor described as a "mega colon" and in 2002 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor on the pituitary gland and one resting on the optical nerves. After all of the treatment I have been left with short term memory loss and problems with my balance. I'm also on lifetime medication as my pituitary gland is no longer working. My confidence is pretty much none existing and it's been like that for as long as I can remember.

    So here's where my main question starts and I apologize if I've been coming across as whiny, that wasn't my plan. For about 2-3 years I have been thinking about using diapers to help with day to day life, everything from easing worry about getting to the toilet on time if I'm having a bad day with my stomach, helping me to feel protected against everything (as strange as it might sound, I'm not on about toilet troubles) and basically helping me to feel in control of any situation I'm in.

    I had spoken to my doctor about this last year at some point but put it in a lot less detail. I had asked her if she knew anyone who had tried something a bit different to help with the issues I am having. The response I got was the usual Can't discuss individual cases but I could try and help. Anyway I felt embarrassed and said it's ok I was just wondering.

    The only person I have really talked to about it was a close friend of mine who I can trust my life with. After changing subject a few times I finally spoke about this idea, her response was neutral and I was advised to have a look online about it because she wasn't too sure what to say. That's when I found this amazing website.

    So my questions are:
    • Is it normal to want to wear to help boost confidence and reassure my self that everything is okay?
    • Who can/should I talk to about it?
    • If I talk to my parents or doctors about it, how do I put my point across without sounding strange?


    I know it might be a strange subject to talk about and if/when I talk to people about it I know I won't get the best reaction. I don't identify my self as AB/DL (but I don't really know what I am looking for on that part) and I don't really know where these thoughts come from.

    I would appreciate any feedback, even if it's just someone telling me to shut the hell up lol.

    Thank you,
    Shaun

  2. #2

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    Hi, Shaun,

    I would like to hear a little bit more about your specific circumstance before considering how best to respond. What exactly do you mean by this?



    Quote Originally Posted by shaunk1991
    So here's where my main question starts and I apologize if I've been coming across as whiny, that wasn't my plan. For about 2-3 years I have been thinking about using diapers to help with day to day life, everything from easing worry about getting to the toilet on time if I'm having a bad day with my stomach, helping me to feel protected against everything (as strange as it might sound, I'm not on about toilet troubles) and basically helping me to feel in control of any situation I'm in.


    I guess I am not following you in the second half of that sentence. Could you explain it more?

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by ICkaraokegirl View Post
    Hi, Shaun,

    I would like to hear a little bit more about your specific circumstance before considering how best to respond. What exactly do you mean by this?



    [/FONT][/COLOR]I guess I am not following you in the second half of that sentence. Could you explain it more?
    Woops sorry about that. What I ment by helping me feel protected and in control is that by knowing there's something there protecting against accidents and the worry of it happening helps me to feel like I'm in control of what is going on and what could happen. I hope this was a bit more clear and I apologise if not

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by shaunk1991
    So my questions are:

    • Is it normal to want to wear to help boost confidence and reassure my self that everything is okay?
    • Who can/should I talk to about it?
    • If I talk to my parents or doctors about it, how do I put my point across without sounding strange?


    What is "normal" anyway? I'm being serious here, Shaun. Can you define it? Can any of us, really? Where do we find the standard? If I asked someone in rural Oklahoma what his normal morning routine was, I suspect it would differ greatly form the answer to the same question asked in New York City. Or, hey, to keep things more fair, rural Oregon. "Normal" is defined by each of us according to our own standards, and we accept whatever standards we are used to as the norm. Do you eat fish three times a week? That's your normal. Do your parents each have five siblings, each of them with huge families of their own to match your four brothers and sisters? That's your normal. Do you go to church every single night? That's your normal.

    Do you wear diapers to address problems that you are having? Well...

    My point is that whatever is the reality of your life simply becomes your normal. I've been 24/7 due to incontinence for five months now; it is my normal. I am used to it. I don't question it any more. I don't worry about it. I have a doctor trying to cure me but I do not expect to be cured, and it is fine. If I have to wear diapers for the rest of my life, that's just normal. I'll be OK; things could be a whole lot worse. And let me tell you: the fear of accidents is one thing that is indeed "a whole lot worse." If I thought I was cured I'd still wear diapers until I had not wet them for at least about six months; I just wouldn't trust it, and accidents are far worse than diapers as far as I'm concerned. So that confidence boost of which you speak? Darn tooting!

    As to whom you should tell: well, that depends on you. As far as I am concerned, the answer to that question is simple: only those who have a need to know. I would tell my doctor, for the simple and pragmatic reason that I will be showing up diapered to exams. I would tell anyone with whom I am living, again to be pragmatic: trying to hide it is just going to cause tremendous amounts of stress. And as far as anyone else is concered, what business is it of theirs?

    As to what you should say...

    It seems to me that it would not be unfair or untrue to characterize this as a medical issue when talking about it to people other than your doctor. If you are having accidents, it is certainly one possible solution to the problem. As to your doctor, you cold use the same tactic: this is a solution you have chosen to take because you believe it will help you with your confidence. Exactly what you said in your post. Your fear of accidents is debilitating you, and you need to be able to get on with life without that worry.

    I don't know if this is helpful or not, but it is what I think as I read your post.

  5. #5

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    I guess the question is just how often and troublesome your bowels are? Do you have accidents daily, weekly, or maybe once or twice a year... either way, bowel issues are nothing to want to have to cope with, so if they have caused you un-needed stress in the past from acting up, and if wearing something to put your mind at ease for the worry of an accident which would be more then humiliating, then by all means wear something. There are people out there who do stranger things than this, and it sounds like with the Mega Colon diagnosis, it is more then justified. If you talk to anyone about it, just explain what kind of stress it puts you under from having to be on guard over this all the time, and that wearing takes that off the plate of daily worries, simple enough. Anyone with IBS wears when they are having a flare up, only makes sense to protect yourself from the possibility.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Waddles View Post
    I guess the question is just how often and troublesome your bowels are? Do you have accidents daily, weekly, or maybe once or twice a year... either way, bowel issues are nothing to want to have to cope with, so if they have caused you un-needed stress in the past from acting up, and if wearing something to put your mind at ease for the worry of an accident which would be more then humiliating, then by all means wear something. There are people out there who do stranger things than this, and it sounds like with the Mega Colon diagnosis, it is more then justified. If you talk to anyone about it, just explain what kind of stress it puts you under from having to be on guard over this all the time, and that wearing takes that off the plate of daily worries, simple enough. Anyone with IBS wears when they are having a flare up, only makes sense to protect yourself from the possibility.
    i wear ost of the time as i abdl. but i do know what you mean by this IBS flareup thingy. i currently suffer with ibs and sometimes it feels like my stoache is a cemeent ixer ollowed by an elepant sitting on it. its horrible.

  7. #7

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    I have been following your post on this and diapers do make a since. Who should you talk to, both your parents and doctor. Explain to them just how you fill, knowing your condition they will all understand.

    Not knowing how long you have to make to the toilet is the worst part of all of this. I went through this with my bladder IC and understand just where you are coming form.

  8. #8

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    Thank you everyone for your reply. I will answer the questions you've left.

    @Waddles: I tend to have about 2 accidents per month, it usually isn't too noticeable after cleaning up what was there but it's still embarrassing.
    @ICkaraokegirl: The main reason for telling my doctors is that every 3 month I have to get an injection on the bottom due to not producing Testosterone, so by letting them know there won't be any weird questions.

    One thing I forgot to mention was about the flare ups and how often they happen. The stomach pain is constant, whilst I'm sitting typing this it's going crazy. Believe it or not, today is actually a good day. On a bad day I literally can't move with the pain.
    In relation to what "tennismad" said (i currently suffer with ibs and sometimes it feels like my stoache is a cemeent ixer ollowed by an elepant sitting on it. its horrible.) this is what I feel like on a good day. I was never diagnosed with IBS so I'm starting to wonder what that could be.

    Thank you again for posting,
    Shaun

  9. #9

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    Next trip to see your doc, you may want to inquire into getting a Colonoscopy done, so they can see what is the cause of it all, if you have not had one yet. Not a fun procedure, but with the meds they use, you sleep right through it, could be worth asking about. It is something they do on even younger people now-a-days.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Waddles View Post
    Next trip to see your doc, you may want to inquire into getting a Colonoscopy done, so they can see what is the cause of it all, if you have not had one yet. Not a fun procedure, but with the meds they use, you sleep right through it, could be worth asking about. It is something they do on even younger people now-a-days.
    I had one done in April this year so the surgeon could rule out treatments that wouldn't work with the results he got.

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