Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: Therapist, Wife, and Christianity

  1. #1

    Unhappy Therapist, Wife, and Christianity

    Hello All,

    I am sure this topic has been brought up many times but I am kind of at a loss of what to do, so forgive me if this is a long post.

    Some of my earliest memories involve wanting to put on and wear diapers. All of my life I had this desire that would come and go. A little more then a year ago right before I met my wife I caved in and bought adult diapers for the first time and indulged and enjoyed it. Within 2 months I met my wife and started dating her, and as I dated her so did my interest in diapers as I tried various kinds and wore more frequently. I feel my life was balanced maybe wearing once or twice a month and after reading many forums I told my wife(then gf) about this. You can read it so many times about many different people telling others but when it comes to you...its hard to put into words something that dates back as young as 2-3 years old. I was honest and answered her questions but she took it horribly and cried a lot, she didn't hate me for it but thought it would be wise to do counseling, I kept it hidden (since I normally wore to sleep anyways) and it was put on the backburner.

    Flash forward some years and were married and I am honest with her again about my desires and again she takes it badly, she told me she thinks its a sexual thing with me (and it partly is , partly isn't but this definitely predates my sexuality since its been with me for a very very long time) and sees it that I am choosing diapers over her and on top of that seeing me less as a man was a big turn-off for her. I am mostly DL with some AB tendencies, but I don't usually do it for sexual pleasure or gratification, I find stress release,comfort, and security in wearing. She thinks we should seek counseling and again its on the backburner, but I know myself and the binge/purge cycle will start again.

    Here is where I could use some help to process analyze through. I am a Christian and so is my wife so she wants to seek Christian counseling. Has anyone seen a Christian counselor before? What did they say? I have read as much material as I can and have done soul searching in this matter and in ways here is where I reside. In and of itself I don't see it as a sin, but what bugs me is that it hurts my wife if I do this and I don't want to go around behind her back, also what to do about her being less attracted to me for doing this. The second thing that worries me is that the binge purge/cycle. From a Christian standpoint we aren't to be controlled by anything yet these urges come from time to time until I indulge and kind of consume me, so that worries me. If we see a therapist what should I say? I understand if might be in fact something that comes back on my wife's view of it all to talk about and less about what I am doing. So if anyone has processed through this before and wants to chime in I would be grateful.

  2. #2



    I guess you guys have some talking to do - if this has to be with a therapist/counsellor is up to you though.

    However - I am NOT christian (matter of fact I'm really not religious by any rate) - But when it comes to psychological stuff etc... I'd seek out the help of someone who's definitely impartial to stuff like religion / respectively doesn't make this part of the counseling.
    Why? well Part of the reason for you guys to get counseling is your fetish, that albeit only partially, is rooted at a sexual level. Also it's not a religious issue - it's an issue of acceptance, boundaries, desires, etc.
    And from what I've seen sexuality (issues) and christianity usually don't mix well.

    So my advice is to get counseling from a certified therapist - and not from one stemming from the religious side.

  3. #3


    Hello realchalk.

    I would second EP01 post.

    I am not sure what a Christian Counselor is, but in my religious experience I would assume that that is a priest or pastor. I doubt that they would have any understanding of Paraphilic Infantilism. However, going to a counselor would not be a bad thing.

    I can somewhat relate to your story. I to had been doing the DL side for a long time and had done just about every phase of it that you can find documented. In the end it had primarily turned into a sexual needs release thing and was going through the binge and purge cycle something fierce. Then I met my wonderful wife and stopped it because I was having needs met in a better way. I did fine for eight years then I came back with one of the worst binge cycles I ever had. The more I fought it the farther into depression I sank. I finally went into counseling and joined this group all in the same week. Since then I have had so much help and support from both sources, and things have been going much better.

    One thing I would suggest is for both of you to watch Baby Mitchy's You tube video on "Understanding the Adult Baby". I showed that to my wife and it is very helpful. HE does mention the most important part of this fetish and your partner and that is COMMUNICATION. Both need to hear each other and respect each others opinion on the subject and understand the difference between boundaries, balance, and control.

    I hope this helps and good luck.

    One last thing that a therapist once told me. Remember to go to marriage coaching, that is to help you learn how to communicate with one another, marriage counseling is where you go just before you contact the divorce attorney.

  4. #4


    I'm a 7 day a week 24/7 christian and my advice is be careful about your expectations with a christian counselor. Can I ask of your denomination? I ask because fundamentalist christian based therapists will find nothing good in what you are doing. they will tie your desires into pedophillia and deep seated sin. you will be made out to be a monster and in the end it will put your wife even more against you. Id find a therapist who has experience with infantilism. they are out there. that therapist will be your best shot to convincing your wife this desire of yours is not harmful, will not go away and doesnt replace her. its a part of you...

  5. #5


    Its more important you find some one that works with the ab stuff and is good not some one that has never done so.

  6. #6


    My experience with a Christian Marriage Counselor went poorly in my opinion. It seemed as though this guy was simply a psycologist who also espoused Christianity. He never preached to us or really even brought up anything that one might consider religious. However, he did give me the vibe that he was taking sides, and not mine. It became clear over a few sessions that my wife and I had huge communication issues, and trust issues. Eventually we divorced as we were just not meant to be a couple... or as the Bible calls it, "unequally yolked." I would search out the council of a professional who has experience dealing with infantilism first and foremost before I worried about that persons religious affiliation, or lack there of. Your issue stems from your infantile desires, not your religion, as you state that you don't see it as sin. If it were sin, and you being Christian, there would likely be a serious guilt factor involved on your part. Not to mention that in Christianity we all sin, and we are forgiven for those sins through our acceptance of Christs sacrificial act at Calvary. I suppose another angle that you might consider is that Paul is described as having a "thorn in the flesh" which is to say, he carried a sin that stuck with him, he begged for God to remove it, and was told that Grace would cover that sin, and that it wouldn't be removed. Rather it would be there as a reminder of Gods grace and forgiveness that we as Christians believe we "need" to one day occupy Heaven.
    Not sure if any of that helps your situation, but I would certainly look for some advise from someone professional who has experience dealing with infantilism.

  7. #7


    thanks for the responses everyone.

    I am not sure what I would even want out of counseling, I know I would either want the desires to go away completely or acceptance from myself and wife, because the middle is no good.

    how would one find a therapist/psychologist that has experience in this? Ive looked but it's not something really advertised...

  8. #8


    It's like you said there are only two ways this can go, either you get convinced it is something terrible and force yourself to never use them , or she realizes that it's just a fetish and while unusual, it's harmless.

    Is this really the best way? Maybe you could find something online that shows that there are a lot of normal people who do it or something like that.

    Good luck.

  9. #9


    The way I see it, if you force yourself to stop endulging in something that is a part of who you are, you are now going to be unhappy, and eventualy that could lead to resentment towards your spouse, because she would be the primary reason for your not being able to have some "little time"

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by realchalk View Post
    thanks for the responses everyone.

    I am not sure what I would even want out of counseling, I know I would either want the desires to go away completely or acceptance from myself and wife, because the middle is no good.

    how would one find a therapist/psychologist that has experience in this? Ive looked but it's not something really advertised...
    To be fair I think you should NOT have any "expectations" for counseling - just try to be open minded.
    Generally counseling only makes sense in a situation where the communication between a couple has become complicated and it generally lacks objectivity and both are basically "trapped" in their own subjective action/response cycles.
    To break out of those behavioral patterns counseling is indeed a very good thing.
    However NO counsellor is basically able to RID YOU of a FETISH.

    If you truly want to STOP with your fetish for good there are several options, but couples counseling isn't one of them.
    One word of advice: getting "rid" (that's actually next to impossible, but you can let it "go") of a fetish is VERY difficult - actually some therapists say its much harder than breaking a serious drug addiction.

    Before you venture down that road that most likely is going to be agonizing for yourself and not entirely nice for the misses either:
    Think about WHY you want to get rid of it...
    Usually marriage (I am not married but am in a relationship and have been so for the past 12 years...) or any relationship will include a good number of compromise-solutions to make it work.
    Unless both are absolutely "equal" it's always coming with "problems", "likes / dislikes" that need to be addressed.
    Communication is of utmost importance - I'd say even more important than the actual issue (diapers in your case) is to LEARN how to communicate and solve problems TOGETHER. If you manage this, you can have a very long lasting relationship that's fulfilling.

    I don't think the diapers as an object are the actual problem to be honest... I think it's a mixed bag of how she perceives the situation, what you would like to do (wear, indulge...) and how she perceives you and her role in the entire thing.
    Basically you could replace diapers with a latex or leather fetish or whatever... it usually doesn't matter that much.
    The added problem with diapers is the "stigma" attached to them (babies and old folks wear them - anyone else = yikes)... and that is something that for some isn't easy to get around... needs time and lots of talk.

    Now back to the part about getting "rid" of the fetish...
    again, it will be difficult (maybe not at first - mind you).
    ... you can try it on your own - depending on your personality you might even succeed:
    - AVOID DIAPERS, AB Stuff, etc.. WHATEVER it is that triggers your desire, whatever you associate with the fetish - GET RID OF IT and DO NOT, NEVER, Even slightly indulge - ever again.
    Basically treat it like any sort of addiction (although of course a fetish is NOT AN ADDICTION in a psychological sense of the word - the same principals still can be applied)... Like the ex-alcoholic who will never touch a drop of wine again.
    - FIND SOMETHING to REPLACE the Object (diaper) with... No - don't just switch to kitchen towels AS DIAPERS... but REPLACING it is easier than completely forgetting it... basically "reprogramming" works to some extend.
    Something you can do, whenever the urge hits you, and will take your mind of and possibly give you a POSITIVE FEEDBACK something that will make you feel happy. (positive association is easier to learn and implement as a behavioral pattern).
    - TALK - it's good if you have someone to talk about... in that case I'd say a therapist is the BETTER choice than your wife (due to the fact of being non-judgmental).
    I'd advice you agains involving your wife like telling her that you need her help in stopping -that will create a scenario of expectation, trust issues - and in case you "fail" of the stigma of being a "failure"... no good.

    Honestly, if you really intend to stop because it's making your life miserable: I'd strongly advice you to seek out the help of a professional therapist who's specialised on sexual therapy.
    They usually are understanding and can help you along....

    But really, before you STOP you need to be sure WHY you want to stop... that will make all the difference.

Similar Threads

  1. Debate about Christianity
    By Mercurius in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 126
    Last Post: 25-Aug-2012, 22:27
  2. Christianity and wealth
    By WBDaddy in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 09-Feb-2012, 17:01
  3. christianity and diapers does it mix?
    By abmay153 in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 02-May-2011, 08:25
  4. Christianity in Republican doctrine
    By aielen in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-Sep-2009, 01:55
  5. Your views on Christianity?
    By andrew90 in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 227
    Last Post: 12-Aug-2008, 04:32

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.