I am sure this topic has been brought up many times but I am kind of at a loss of what to do, so forgive me if this is a long post.
Some of my earliest memories involve wanting to put on and wear diapers. All of my life I had this desire that would come and go. A little more then a year ago right before I met my wife I caved in and bought adult diapers for the first time and indulged and enjoyed it. Within 2 months I met my wife and started dating her, and as I dated her so did my interest in diapers as I tried various kinds and wore more frequently. I feel my life was balanced maybe wearing once or twice a month and after reading many forums I told my wife(then gf) about this. You can read it so many times about many different people telling others but when it comes to you...its hard to put into words something that dates back as young as 2-3 years old. I was honest and answered her questions but she took it horribly and cried a lot, she didn't hate me for it but thought it would be wise to do counseling, I kept it hidden (since I normally wore to sleep anyways) and it was put on the backburner.
Flash forward some years and were married and I am honest with her again about my desires and again she takes it badly, she told me she thinks its a sexual thing with me (and it partly is , partly isn't but this definitely predates my sexuality since its been with me for a very very long time) and sees it that I am choosing diapers over her and on top of that seeing me less as a man was a big turn-off for her. I am mostly DL with some AB tendencies, but I don't usually do it for sexual pleasure or gratification, I find stress release,comfort, and security in wearing. She thinks we should seek counseling and again its on the backburner, but I know myself and the binge/purge cycle will start again.
Here is where I could use some help to process analyze through. I am a Christian and so is my wife so she wants to seek Christian counseling. Has anyone seen a Christian counselor before? What did they say? I have read as much material as I can and have done soul searching in this matter and in ways here is where I reside. In and of itself I don't see it as a sin, but what bugs me is that it hurts my wife if I do this and I don't want to go around behind her back, also what to do about her being less attracted to me for doing this. The second thing that worries me is that the binge purge/cycle. From a Christian standpoint we aren't to be controlled by anything yet these urges come from time to time until I indulge and kind of consume me, so that worries me. If we see a therapist what should I say? I understand if might be in fact something that comes back on my wife's view of it all to talk about and less about what I am doing. So if anyone has processed through this before and wants to chime in I would be grateful.