Most of what I've been reading lately about adult babies states (sometimes categorically) that infantilism is driven by a need to surrender control. They associate diapers with chastity devices, mommies with the DOM/SUB relationship, pacifiers with ball gags, cribs, high chairs and baby leashes as objects of restraint.
Although this may be true for some adult babies, I believe that BDSM elements are not central to the adult baby persona but (for some) layered on top of it. In the same way, gender roles layered on top of the adult baby persona produce a LG. All of these items (diapers, etc.) are about authenticity. They are not just BDSM props.
Personally, I came to be an adult baby without any trauma in my childhood. I had a very supportive and nurturing childhood, challenged only by the demands of being the first born. I trace my adult baby and LG interests to the birth of my "baby sister" and distinctly remember being envious of her romper and diapers. I used to call her "bubble butt".
So, for me, being an adult baby is all about nurture. Even without a partner, it's about being safe and secure, not about domination. Personally, I don't want to be spanked, given corner time or humiliated, I just want the release (emotional and sexual) that comes with regression.
Am I wrong?