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Thread: Why?

  1. #1

    Default Why?

    this is something im struggling with. and feel is important. why do i like nappies and dummies and sippy cups and playing with childish toys?

    i had a bottle until i was 4, but was out of nappies by the time i was 2...i wasnt dry on nights until i was 3 and a half/4 i think it was to do with my bottle for bed n when that was stopped the bedwetting stopped. i was allowed dolls and all my childhood toys until I chose to put them in the loft. (i say 'chose' as in i was made to feel bad and like a freak by my mum because i was 11 and liked dolls still)

    so really i shouldnt want this? i wasnt abused. my dad loved me more than life itself. and i had a good middle-class upbringing until i was 10 and my mum n dad split. and i cant remember any....wanting to be younger at this point. i just knew i didnt want to grow up. I enjoyed playing the baby when me and my friends played mums and babies. and as i was little i fit into the real size 3 nappies my mum n dad had bought for my big doll louise who was the size of the average 6 month old baby and was a soft bodied doll i found in a charity shop and fell in love with. so i often wore them when playing the baby. and once i got dared to wee in them. im sure my dad caught me as i remember him saing "you better not be peeing in those nappies smeg cos i wont be buying no more". i remember i liked it but i never tried it again. and i remember being 12 and trying to reverse the effects of puberty because i didnt want to grow boobs or get curves or get hair down there.

    i remember once being 11/12 and my mum had tena lady pads in the bathroom. i remember wanting to use one. i dont know why but i took like 3 or 4 and stuck them all over the inside of my knickers. i didnt understand why but i liked the feeling of them on my skin.

    when i was 13 and at my dads i was on his laptop looking at...well id accidently gone from simpsons colour ins to a incestual sexual story involving bart and lisa simpson. and when i looked at the full site i found one about a baby husband. and i was confused. (as to how a baby could be married) and i clicked on it and read it. and i was really intrigued that there were adults who liked this. even if it was only fiction.

    i knew i liked pretending to be little. id buy the onesies from shops and just wear one with my knickers and crawl around my bedroom (at my dads only)

    and i was allowed my dolls and not made to feel silly for playing with them at my dads. and i knew he knew i sometimes drunk out of the baby bottles hed bought for my dolls (50p for like 4 real baby bottles in a charity shop or 5 for doll ones) and he caught me 'cleaning' the dolls dummys by sucking on them once or twice.

    but why have i always been like this? i dont understand. when i feel little its not like im playing baby i feel alot younger, and it feels like a need. i will admit i dont really feel it often, normally only once or twice a week. but when i feel it its like a really strong feeling. i just dont understand.

    i know its stupid but part of me wants to become incontinent. just because it would give me a reason to wear nappies. i know it would be inconvienient and i should not want incontinence but i feel bad for wanting nappies and id feel better if i knew i NEEDED them.

    i fee like theres something wrong with me and i jst dont understand. your meant to want to grow up. so why do i want to stay like a baby? why? i just dont get it and i wonder if any of you can shed some light on this for me. because i just dont know.

  2. #2

    Default

    Everyone is ab/ dl for a different reason, and the fact is that many of us don't know why. I was not abused either as a child, and I never wet the bed. I can only guess that emotional trauma and lack of physical affection during my teen years caused my ab side. My dl side, well, I've just found diapers arousing since I was little.

    So there's really no point in wondering why you're an adult baby, because frankly you'll probably never know. You just are, and you should try to enjoy this particular little quirk you've been given.

  3. #3

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    Sounds like its more apart of you then just playing baby its comes natural to you that's why the feeling is so strong.
    with the feeling of wanting to be IC it sounds like you are trying to find away of justifying your want to wear nappies like if i need them for IC then there is nothing wrong with wearing them you may have a feeling of guilt because you get enjoyment form wearing nappies and as children we are told that nappies are for babies and some think we don't need any more and if we wet are self's as children we are punished and that feeling of guilt becomes stronger so i think its normal to have these feelings you have about wearing nappies but i may be wrong tho its just a thought. All i can really say is take your time with it you are still young and you are still learning a lot about yourself as a person the world can be a very heavy and scary so its very natural to want to go back to a time that was safe.
    But just remember this you are not alone. Super Hugs Leo

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaStarshine View Post
    you should try to enjoy this particular little quirk you've been given.
    its easy enough saying enjoy it, but especially being adhd and having mild autism ive been trying to fit in my whole life. my mum didnt keep it a secret that she had to fight in court for me to be in mainstream school instead of a special needs school. ive always tried to fit in and be like everyone else. and now i feel like i cant. im a freak. and whats the point even trying? how can you enjoy something that makes you stand out everyone else? when youve been fed the message your entire life that you HAVE to fit in. and being different is bad because you get treated different. i want to be normal. i just dont understand, why do i feel the need to do this?

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    Quote Originally Posted by littleleo View Post
    with the feeling of wanting to be IC it sounds like you are trying to find away of justifying your want to wear nappies like if i need them for IC then there is nothing wrong with wearing them
    i think your right about that


    All i can really say is take your time with it you are still young and you are still learning a lot about yourself as a person the world can be a very heavy and scary so its very natural to want to go back to a time that was safe.
    But just remember this you are not alone. Super Hugs Leo
    i just have such conflicting feelings. theres nothing sexual in it. but when i feel that need to be little and i have a nappy on and im sucking a dummy i dont feel weird. but then when i dont feel that need anymore i will look at them and feel sick. like im a freak and not even trying to be normal. like no body will ever want me because im a freak who wants to be a baby. its....confusing. when i feel my age i really dont want to be little or have anything to do with nappies etc. but when i feel that need and that attraction to them i feel fine about it, i dont understand why i feel like this?

  5. #5

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    For a start trying to be like everyone else is overrated and if this makes you a freak then dose that mean the other god know how many people that have the same feelings as you are freaks i think not. I think your being very hard on your self it makes me sad to think how many people spend there hole life's trying to fight these feelings only to find that they will not go away.
    In time learn how to love these feelings and you will learn to love your self life is to short to worry about fitting in with every one else and what's more what is normal there is no such thing just be you and the rest will come

  6. #6

  7. #7

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    I'm not a sure i cant really say as everyone is different but i guess with time and understanding and support you will be able to except these feelings you have and once you have excepted your feelings you may feel more comfortable and confident and you may even start to enjoy these feelings with out being in conflict with your self. Again its just my thoughts right or wrong its what i think. Be strong your find your way and we are all here for you as a support community.

  8. #8

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    No person on earth is completely ''normal.'' We all have something about us that makes us different from the next person. What goes on behind closed doors in other people's lives would probably shock you.

    Remember that if something makes you feel good, and doesn't hurt you or anyone else, what's wrong it? There are plently of habits that are much much worse than wearing diapers and sucking pacifiers.

    Like Leo said, you are still young, and acceptance of this kind of stuff takes time. Hopefully one day you'll be able to look back and see that the advice you were given was true.

  9. #9

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    There is no reason to worry about these things. Some of us did it for security, others just like being little. It is hap[py time in all of our lives and going back there is fine.

    Why at my age do Ilike sleeping in a diaper and have my Teddy Bear and Paci? I need the diaper, I'm a wetter. The Teddy and paci are for security. I'm at no means a freak for doing these things.

    You find comfort in these things that is all , that makes it OK for you to do. Don' worry why just enjoy them.

  10. #10

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    Don't ask "why." In all likelihood, you will not find a satisfactory answer. Human psychology is frightfully complicated, and we do not understand it well. If you allow your self-acceptance to hinge on having an "explanation" that satisfies you, you do nothing but harm yourself. You have to learn to accept and enjoy who you are, regardless of the "why."

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