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Thread: Learning a little more about my past

  1. #1

    Default Learning a little more about my past

    ...and how I developed into a DL with slight AB tendancies (I'm still not sure how deep my AB side goes).

    I don't have a great memory, childhood memories especially are fuzzy to nonexistant, so I never knew what might have happened in my childhood that made me into the person I am today.

    Recently, however, I found a calendar in which my mother had written most of my developments/milestones for my second year, and I noticed something interesting. It looks like they started trying to potty train me at about 2 (although they may have started sooner, I don't have a "baby's first year" calendar, as far as I know), right before my younger brother was born, which I imagine is a stressful time in a child's life, and I've heard kids can have a very hard time learning to use the potty when stressed. There were "used the potty" type notes throughout the whole year, so it looks like I took a long time from start to finish before I got the hang of it, and considering what a sensitive kid I was, it probably stressed me out a lot.

    Also, I was apparently pretty jealous of my baby brother for a while, and I saw a few notes about me "acting like a baby" or "pretending to be a baby" over the course of the year, I wonder if I though I'd get the same attention if I was a little baby too?

    I think I'll ask some more questions about my childhood and potty training next opportunity I get, I'm pretty curious.

    Anyone else think jealousy of a younger sibling contributed to your ABDL desires?

  2. #2

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    In my case, definitely. My parents divorced when I was 2, and my mom remarried when I was 5. Two years later, my sister was born, followed by another 3 years after that. Not only was I deprived of attention as an oldest child, but I wasn't even the full child of that marriage. Although my mom and stepfather loved me very much, as a kid, I felt like an appendix. I can remember shortly after my first sister was born, I started wetting the bed intentionally.
    Last edited by MattiKins; 11-Sep-2013 at 06:49.

  3. #3

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    I my case I don't think I was jealous. I was five when my one and only sister was born (I have no brothers). Long after my sister was born (she was about 5, I was 10) I started to feel that my parents treated her better than me (looking back - I don't think this was true), but I don't think this had anything to do with my AB/DL.

    For me, I was a bed wetter and I think this had an impact on my becoming an AB/DL.

  4. #4

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    I don't know what if anything this has to do with my attraction to diapers, but I am the oldest, with a brother who is a little more than 1 year younger than I am. I do have some vivid memories of having my diaper changed when I was 2 1/2 or so, and remember getting caught 'pooping' a home-made toilet paper diaper when I was 6 or so. I have read some research that indicates having a younger sibling may contribute to this, but if that is the case why aren't more older siblings into this as well? I do find it interesting as I have never understood what made me attracted to diapers as myself personally, at least on the surface, would seem like one of the least likely people to be into this.

  5. #5

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    i was the younger sibling, i never had issues with bedwetting, my dad says i had issues with potty training but i dont remember it that way, my memory kicked in very young and i remember nearly everything. I still have no idea what started my interest in diapers, for me it really goes back to as far back as i can remember and i think it may have stemmed from having memories as far back as being in diapers.

  6. #6

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    I never had any siblings, so I don't have to put that down as the cause of my DL. But I kinda wish I had a brother or sister. I think that the earliest I got into it was when I was 5 or 6, I would wrap a washcloth around myself like a diaper in the bathtub and it always felt good. Then when I was around 13 I had these foam bricks that I would put in my pants when I was alone and get the feel of diapers. I also dreaded going down the diaper isle at the store because I know my face would get red, probably because I knew I wanted to go down the isle. When I was 15 one of my grandparents that got out of the hospital had adult diapers brought home with them. I really wanted to try one on but was always too scared to in fear that someone might find out and I still to this day regret not trying one on. 16-19 is when I really started to experiment when I had the place to myself, I would put towels in plastic bags and wear them. Age 20-23 I would fold my long underwear and put it in my briefs adding a folded shirt if I needed extra padding. It was always an escapism for me, I ALWAYS did it alone, and I always enjoyed it. But I always felt shameful after, until now. Now that I have met so many other great people with this interest, I have come to embrace this part of me. I also got the courage and bought the goodnites which I like to wear now. When I wear two, it feels pretty much like the real thing. One that I can wear discretely in public. I am much happier now. Well that's my DL history.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by dinosaurface View Post
    ...and how I developed into a DL with slight AB tendancies (I'm still not sure how deep my AB side goes).
    I feel quite like you at the moment, that somehow I want to play little and regress. I like the pacifier i bought some time ago, although for me its difficult to enter little mindset because I have almost no privacy and therefore have to stay alarmed all the time.



    Quote Originally Posted by dinosaurface View Post
    I don't have a great memory, childhood memories especially are fuzzy to nonexistant, so I never knew what might have happened in my childhood that made me into the person I am today.
    [...]
    Also, I was apparently pretty jealous of my baby brother for a while, and I saw a few notes about me "acting like a baby" or "pretending to be a baby" over the course of the year, I wonder if I though I'd get the same attention if I was a little baby too?

    Anyone else think jealousy of a younger sibling contributed to your ABDL desires?
    I have some memories of me asking my mom whether I could wear a diaper again after I got potty trained at age 2 or so. Also, I believe to remember that my mom once talked to another mom who was saying that her child also wanted to wear diapers again. Sadly I don't remember who it was ;-)
    I got a little brother at age 3, but I don't know whether the diaper thing started before or after that. What I can say though is that I was kind of hurt by the sudden loss of attention back then. Also, because of bedwetting he got diapered for much longer time than me.
    If it correlates with *B/DL? I think it there's a good chance it does, but certainly there have to be a lot other factors too.

  8. #8

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    I talked to my mom today and looked through the calendar again, it looks like they started introducing me to the potty when I was 17 months, about 5 months after my bro was born. I asked about my development, and my mom said I was bright but cautious, I took a while to do things like walk and ride a bike, and potty training was prolonged, my brother (a year younger) mastered pooping in the potty before I did (I didn't ask how old I was). So my DL side most likely stems from a combination of jealousy towards my baby brother, and stressful potty training.

    @mattikins: I'm sorry you went through that, divorce and stepparents sounds like it would be such a confusing, scary thing for a young child to go through, when your parents are so important to you. My parents divorced when I was 20 and it still wasn't fun, I still miss being a family, even though I know it was for the best, in their case.

    @loadedpamperman: I wonder how much it matters to have younger or older siblings, among the AB/DL community? I never participated in any of bittergrey's surveys, but I hope he collected that data, it would be interesting to look at. I've actually noticed signs that my younger brothers might be ABDL, D (the middle child) took an old cloth diaper into the woods when we were kids and tried it on as a joke, but I think he was really into it. And J (the youngest) went through a prolonged period in kindergarden where he would pretend to be a baby, watched movies about babies, clearly wanted to be a baby. So I wonder, if they do both share this interest with me, what could have caused it in all of us, since I don't think D had a prolonged potty training, and J didn't come along until D and I were both out of diapers.

    @GriffonGuy: It seems like it's pretty common for young DLs to use makeshift diapers, being female, I used to layer maxipads under layers of underwear, I also had an old stuffed animal or pillow I pulled the stuffing out of, and I would put that in between layers of underwear, too.

    @athon: Yeah, I'm hoping to explore my little side a bit as I go, but even just the diaper side of things is pretty new to me, so I think it will be quite a process before I really know what I want, and what my boyfriend is comfortable providing, and what I should take care of in privacy. I imagine there's a good chance that the jealousy you felt, coupled with the attention he received (and diaper changing can certainly seem like a very intimate sort of attention to a jealous sibling) by prolonged diaper use was a part of the fomation of your desires, but it really does seem to be multiple factors for a lot of people, including me, I think.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by GriffonGuy View Post
    16-19 is when I really started to experiment when I had the place to myself, I would put towels in plastic bags and wear them. Age 20-23 I would fold my long underwear and put it in my briefs adding a folded shirt if I needed extra padding. It was always an escapism for me, I ALWAYS did it alone, and I always enjoyed it. But I always felt shameful after, until now. Now that I have met so many other great people with this interest, I have come to embrace this part of me. I also got the courage and bought the goodnites which I like to wear now. When I wear two, it feels pretty much like the real thing. One that I can wear discretely in public. I am much happier now. Well that's my DL history.

    This is something I nearly had forgotten, the shame aspect after wearing. Though I am well past that now out of necessity I used to feel this way quite often, especially once I discovered adult diapers and began to wear more often. I don't know why I felt that shame, as I was quite happy at the time to be able to wear when I had the opportunity to do so. Today is different as I wound up with medical issues and became a bedwetter, so I don't have much choice in the matter. Weird, I'd be interested in reading if anyone knows why that shame was felt. Quite an interesting point GriffonGuy.

  10. #10

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    Definitely not for me as I have no other siblings. A younger family member or having diapers in the house does seem to be a fairly common way people become AB/DLs. For me though it was having medical issues and wearing diapers and wetting my pants at an older age.

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