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Thread: Scenario: Diapers or Me?

  1. #1

    Default Scenario: Diapers or Me?

    Imagine you have been in a relationship with the man/woman of your dreams for a few years. You have kept your DLism hidden for years too. Everything is perfect in your relationship. But you have yet to reveal your 'secret'.

    Your partner has caught you on your laptop looking at the ADISC.org websie, and then starts asking questions. Upon doing a rummage she/he discovers your diaper stash.
    You 'fess up' and admit you have always liked diapers and you have a fetish/strong desire for them.

    But then she/he turns round and asks you..

    Me or the diapers?

    You must choose between being in a normal relationship where everything else was perfect, or living out a DL lifestyle.

    What would you do?

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by RouteLeader View Post
    Imagine you have been in a relationship with the man/woman of your dreams for a few years. You have kept your DLism hidden for years too. Everything is perfect in your relationship. But you have yet to reveal your 'secret'.

    Your partner has caught you on your laptop looking at the ADISC.org websie, and then starts asking questions. Upon doing a rummage she/he discovers your diaper stash.
    You 'fess up' and admit you have always liked diapers and you have a fetish/strong desire for them.

    But then she/he turns round and asks you..

    Me or the diapers?

    You must choose between being in a normal relationship where everything else was perfect, or living out a DL lifestyle.

    What would you do?
    Not to be offensive but if you truly love the women, and that question even crosses your mind then you have a problem.

    I feel the same way about diapers i do about other less than societally acceptable things i enjoy, if im not hurting anyone, mind your own buisiness but if it becomes a detriment to my life it has to go with the quickness.

  3. #3

    Default

    I will have to say if it was a true love well then the lifestyle would have to take a back seat but i would wonder how long it would take before the old ABDL feelings to come back and bite you on the bum. I see it more as apart of me more then a lifestyle.
    But if some one can't accept you for who you are then are they really worth changing for. ?

  4. #4

    Default

    I agree with Leo... I see it more as a part if me than just a lifestyle. I think for me if someone didn't accept my DLism then that would be a deal breaker. It's hard for me to put into words but I don't believe my feelings are ever going to go away and to deprive myself of it forever would be stupid, it would just increase my desires and feelings and lead to resentment.

  5. #5

    Default

    One of the key components of my personality is the mentality that if it doesn't hurt others it's fine. This is present in everything from my relationships to my politics, I couldn't see myself being with someone who doesn't think similarly.

    If it was "don't do it while I'm around" I'd be 100% on board, but a flat out "remove a part of your personality or I go" would be enough for me to end any relationship, no matter what aspect they want gone. Modifying how you live for your partner is great, but completely removing something...

  6. #6

    Default

    Irrelevant, If I was in a relationship for over 3-6 months that's when I would tell them. Oh, plus I'm asexual.


    But in all honesty someone who jumps to a conclusion that fast, after knowing you for years. Well then you're obviously not their true love, as they'll rather destroy a part of you rather then deal with it.

  7. #7

    Default

    A relationship is give and take. Now what would the other person be willing to change about themselves that you don't like.

    Even people who are IC have problems over diapers and a relationship.

  8. #8

    Default

    It is a rather two-dimensional hypothetical, but this illustrates the need that we all have to be honest with ourselves in with the people closest to us. I wouldn't be in a live in a relationship with another person if they didn't know about my ABDL. Therefore, I would never be in a position to have to face this ultimatum. I was already in such a relationship once, I'm so glad I never have to deal with that again.

  9. #9

    Default

    This hypothetical is, as MattiKins says, two-dimensional. But what it proposes is a clear-cut situation, and thus the request requires a clear-cut response.

    I agree with those who have said that you should be upfront with your lover, but I also know how hard that is firsthand: I have only recently divulged my AB status for the first time since college, and I've been in relationships almost constantly since my divorce and married for the last seven years. So I get it if you feel uncomfortable. :-)

    OTOH: It will not go away. You can shove it aside as much as you want, but whether it is a lifestyle or a fetish or a dream/desire, it will always resurface somewhere down the line. So the notion of "getting rid of it" and truly purging it from your life is absurd on its face. There are no magic pills here: it is a part of you.

    And...what kind of a relationship is based upon an ultimatum? I don't care who she is or what she is asking: you are doing nothing that has any effect on her life, so what is her problem? My ex, the one who knew from college, just put it away in a little mental lock-box because after the role-playing ended it never had anything at all to do with her. My husband is far more willing to try to play, but we're going slowly because (as I have pointed out) he's vanilla. (She was not vanilla. She was an ice cube.) If it never has anything to do with your gf, then how is it her business if you have a harmless fetish? If later you wanted to involve her, I could see that she could have an issue to discuss with you, but not now.

    She is entirely unreasonable. And a relationship that begins its life in such a way will not be a good one in the long run. You'll end up resenting it. I suggest that, instead of a simple answer, you sit down and discuss this with her. Why the ultimatum? Why was this discovery so threatening to her? She must have had a reason for reacting so vehemently. If you can discover what it was, then maybe you can work out the problem and both of you can end up happy. You seem to care for this woman, so it is worth a try. Giving in to an ultimatum almost never is.

  10. #10
    Cherub

    Default

    As I read the OP, I thought of several things, which were already said later in the thread.
    1) Better to find out now that your partner has a problem with this, before you get married.
    2) What gives them the right to issue you an ultimatum? I am sure there is something they do that you could issue an ultimatum to in return, even if just to prove a point. A relationship, as already stated, is a two-way street.
    3) REAL love accepts the whole person, good along with the bad (with-in reason of course).

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