Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: What make a friend?

  1. #1

    Default What make a friend?

    My question will probably seem stupid, but what truely make a person your friend. I ask this because I feel like my current friend sees me more as a joke. Lastly I've noticed that one of my friend seems to use me as a way to boost his own ego. I've never been to good at making friends, so I tend to take what I can get.

  2. #2


    That all depends on what the term friend means to you. To me a friend is someone that would never judge you and would do just about anything for you. I can count on one hand my true friends.

  3. #3


    Well a friend in my eyes would have to be like family. I didn't have much of a family life growning up.

  4. #4


    Hello babygohan

    Remember the saying "you can chose your friends and not your family".

    I too count my friends on one hand, but I have many acquaintances.

    An acquaintance is a person that you have met and share something in common that is an area of discussion, i.e. anyone I have talked/typed to on this site.

    A friend is more then an acquaintance and I am willing to share more details with or talk to on more then one subject, i.e. people that I have sent friend requests to and/or belong to one of the groups with on this site.

    A true friend is someone that I am willing to let "deeper into my garden" and share personal information with. This also has an element of personal trust, mutual understandings, and know that I will not be judged until all information is heard or I give them reason to need too. In the case of this site it is people that I am willing to share my real name with.

    Family is a group of people that one is born into and can have a varying level of "functionality". Judgement is based on past experience and has a bad habit of being held against you at any time.

    The problem with true friends is that it takes being "stung" a few times to learn how to "judge" someones character as to whether or not they are a true friend. The other thing is to know that as time goes on one learns that true friends will tell you things to help you understand (educate) about errors in awkward situations and not judge or be demeaning.

  5. #5


    I think the term "friend" has different meanings to different people. Each and every person on this planet has a different set of values, morals, beliefs, ideas, and things they deem important, all of which factor in to what they believe a friend should be to them.

    Despite this, however, I think the one thing that is, or should be, true of every definition of friend, is that a friend is someone who makes you happy in some way. Again, what makes one happy can differ from person to person, so maybe a friend is a good listener to someone, a fellow gamer to someone else, a cool person to play 1 on 1 basketball with to another, or perhaps to still others, friendship is simply two people who can be mutually beneficial to each other in some way.

    The other constant about friendship, at least as it seems to me, would be that both parties benefit from it. If the benefit is only one sided, then it less a friendship, and more a parasitic relationship, where one person derives happiness or a benefit, while the other person does not.

    Personally, I have different levels of friendships. People I hang out with once in a while that I can talk to about similar interests and have a good time with I consider my friends. I am comfortable with them, and we get along well. These are the people right above "acquaintances."

    Next are my close friends, or probably what most people consider friends. These people I can pretty much tell anything to. I know them and they know me...quite well. I'd do pretty much anything for them. I trust them wholeheartedly and love to be around them.

    Last is the level I like to call the sibling level, or the "Are You SURE You're Not Dating?" level. Top top top tier. Like finishing each other's sentences tier. Hardcore. Only a few people are in this tier. No secrets, will take a bullet for you and give you my last cent if you needed it. You mess with these people and I will destroy you, despite the fact I'm usually timid as all heck and pretty nice, although quiet if I don't know you. Basically, the people that I'm the most emotionally attached to.

    These would be the ones I consider family. I love them and I'm not afraid to say/show it. We can be stupid, giggly, immature idiots together, or we can be loving, serious, and supportive, and we take care of each other.

    The things that are the same for all of my friends, however, are that we trust each other, we are happy around each other, and that it is a give and take relationship for all parties involved.

    Really though, all you need to do is to ask yourself one thing. Does this friend make you happy? Do you enjoy being around him or does it just feel like he's using you, as you mentioned above? Friends shouldn't use other friends for their exclusive benefit, and if that is indeed what you think is happening, you need to first think about what you want in a friendship, and then you need to sit down with the guy and have a conversation with him.

    Trust me, letting negative feelings like that linger is a bad idea. They will fester and make things much worse for you as time goes on. At the very least, you need to clear the air, but you are the only person that knows this guy and what you want in a friend.

  6. #6


    I generally consider a friend someone I get along with decently. I've got lots of them, they all have their personality quarks just as I do. I've got one in particular that is awesome about 95% of the time but every once in a while goes into full asshat mode. Just the way he is.

    I generally categorize what's been described by most others in this thread as a close friend, and like everyone else, I have very few.

  7. #7


    After years of gaining and losing friends, I've learned that true friendship isnt an easy thing to come by and it takes full effort from both parties for it to work. About 5 years ago I had a group of maybe 10 people who I called my friends, my closest friends. I did anything for them and I had hoped they would do the same for me, but i quickly learned what it meant to be a door mat.

    Fast forward to today and I only have 3 friends that I truly call my "close" friends. They are like family to me. One of them i've known for nearly 10 years and even though me and him never agree on anything and he's no crying shoulder either... we stick together like partnered cops with their own sitcom. My other friend I've only known for the better part of 2 years but I love her like she's a cousin, and i almost feel a need to protect her and watch over her (I'm about 2 and a half years older than her and she's very "innocent") and she's the type of person who doesn't trust anyone because of past experiences, but luckily she's managed to gain a trust in me; and my other friend is twice my age but i see him like a 2nd father and an older brother, and i've known him for about 5 years. These friends are there for me in different aspects and while they've had plenty of opportunities to abandon me for their own reasons and for my own faults, they chose to stick around. So in the end i guess you could say that true friendship is all about the people who won't give up on you.

    But then again, you can never be 100% sure. I had a friend that I've known for maybe 6 years now, she was my sister in every sense of the word, so much so that the only thing that made it not true was us not being blood related... and she's practically abandoned me... It still hurts to just talk about it.

    So in the end, a real friend is someone who doesn't forget about you, despite the distance or the speed-bumps or the fights. Someone you can trust and who trusts you back, someone you can act stupid around and they love you for it, someone you can act like a child around without worrying about any sort of social embarrassment. True friends actually care about YOUR happiness as well as their own.

  8. #8


    it is my experience that their are many different types of "friends", but really there is a bit more to it than that im just gonna attempt to classify different types or levels of friendship simply.
    there are acquaintances which are people you know or have met somewhere as in those u went to school with, or the cashier at the gas station or wherever. you would talk to them in public or when you see them at the store but you wouldnt really want to hang out with them unless yall happened to end up at the same party, or some other public social event.
    then there are people you are cool(able to get along with) with, these people you know more than acquaintances, likely to be coworkers, or friends of friends, or in the case of school those who would sit at your lunch table, you know and get along with these people but you wouldnt necessarily want to invite them over without getting to know them better.
    Next there are friends, these are people that you would be ok going to visit or even have come over to hang out, play games, have a barbeque or whatever. You feel that you could trust them to not go through or steal your stuff, but you wouldnt really want them to know about your deeper sides (I.E. AB/DL).
    then there are "real friends" or "true friends" these are people that you know well or have known for many years through thick and thin, likely you will only have a handful of these. you'll likely know alot about these friends, and likewise they will probably know alot about you, you may feel comfortable with them knowing more personal stuff about you, if you were to tell them something you would trust them not to tell everybody about it, they may still share it with their "best friend(s)" but they arent gonna go around telling others for the sake of telling them or asking others if they knew. you'd be ok with them staying at your house for a few days, or if you needed a place to stay they would probably be ok with you staying there temporarily. if you were having a hard time with something you would feel comfortable talking to them about it. if you were to get into an arguement with them, likely you'd both be over it in a week or less.
    Then there are your best friends. you should be able to count these on one hand. obviously you are going to feel comfortable around them no matter what the situation is. you would be ok sharing a bed with this person if you stayed in a hotel. the two of you probably know just about everything there is to know about each other except for your bank pin. if they did know that you wore diapers out of need or desire they wouldn't judge you for it. if you showed up on their doorstep for the first time in 5 years, and needed help, they would help you. For the sake of it you may as well be brothers or sisters. in a way your bond is stronger than family, they would be the one you'd go to after your mom or grandma turned you away. Best friends forever, would literally mean forever. if u got separated 30 years and ended up in the same old folks home, you would remember their name when you saw it on the roster, and would ASAP make it your goal to reconnect with them, and so long as they were sane they would remember you and you'd still be besties no matter what. they would be your best man at the wedding if you weren't marrying them, and at your funeral they would be your eulogizer maybe even before your own family. you would trust them more than your own family, to put it in a nutshell.

    Lastly, in some scenarios, and this is a little off the topic of friends, you could have what you'd call your second family. I like my family and in times of need i feel i can turn to them for almost anything. but still there are times where i dont want my real family involved, or where im pretty sure i know how my family will react if i were to tell them something, and i dont wanna hear it. this is where i turn to my second family. one time my parents kicked me out of their house for literally no good reason, it was then i turned to my second family, they took me in and gave me a place to stay for nearly a year until i was able to get out again. i actually spend more time with them than i do my own family, and when it comes to their extended family i even know more about some members than others do. BUT SO, In most cases you cant choose your family, and you really cant choose your actual family, but sometimes and to a certain extent, you can still have a real family that isnt blood related.

  9. #9


    This is a question I feel I can adequately address. I have been blessed in life with more true friends than any one person truly deserves. I know quite a few people who are lucky to have 1 really good friend, let alone many.
    I'm trying to think how I can word this, and I'm not 100% sure on how to do so. I guess I'm just going to wing it. A couple of my true friends are from childhood, including my best friend in the world. What brought us together in the first place is common interests. We went to the same school, lived near each other, were into sports and love to fish. I guess common interests would be a common them, as that is how I met all of my friends.
    As far as make someone like you... that is something I'm pretty sure is not going to happen. Aside form having common ground, growing a friendship is more art than science. I have known a few people who were just not enjoyable to be around no matter what. A couple of them would do anything to try to get others to like them. One would buy people things because he had money, another would do or say anything to try to get other to like him. No one ever respected these people as they didn't have respect for themselves.
    I have always been a personable man who doesn't like to sit still. I have been into numerous things through the years from sports, fishing, shooting billiards, drag racing, building hot rods & lifted trucks, riding motorcycles (on & off road) & ATVs, coaching sports, model railroads and probably a lot more that I don't have time to write about. Doing many of those things introduced me to a lot of people, some I became friends with, some I became acquaintances with and still others I dislike to various degrees. My friends run the gamut from what others would call "geeks" to what some would call "jocks", "heads", etc...
    Once you meet someone and you have stuff in common doing that stuff will allow you to get to know each other better. From that point on how you get along and how far the friendship develops is a guess, but it gets your foot in the door, so to speak.
    Growing up I was the type of person most people loved or hated, but mostly everyone knew who I was. I have a loud personality and speak my mind. I was bullied quite a bit as a youth, didn't like it and joined the wrestling team to help me become more physical. I was pretty athletic, having played football prior to this so it wasn't hard for me. Once I realized that I could more than adequately defend myself & fight I grew a lot as a teen, and that has transitioned to who I am now.
    The one thing I would offer as advice would be this, be confident in yourself! I tell my kids and kids that I coach that if you don't believe in yourself, why should anyone else believe in you? I am not saying to have a huge ego as that swings too far to the other extreme, but you have to believe in yourself enough to project confidence to those around you, especially people you want to be friends with.
    I hope this is easy to understand as I am not thinking very clearly at the moment. I have had a massive headache and have not been able to sleep in quite awhile. Feel free to ask me anything if I am able to help. have a good night.

  10. #10


    Let me say this I can be friends with almost anyone, but for some reason people tend to abandon me after a few months. Sadly this wasn't and hasn't been a one time thing. It always seemed to happen close to a year in any of my friendships. I've grown a little bit hateful to the world because of it. My current friendship has lasted over three years, but I don't know if I've given up or that I found some a quality group of friends.

Similar Threads

  1. friend knows
    By pamperedyellowone in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-Mar-2013, 22:14
  2. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-Aug-2011, 04:37
  3. I'm new here. Will you be my friend? :)
    By JessFox in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 13-Mar-2010, 18:04
  4. Friend or Foe?
    By kevke in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-Mar-2010, 18:36

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.