I'm new here and looking for some help.
I've been a DL for as long as I can remember, but it's always been something I hid from everyone. My only interaction with it was through porn until recently when I told my current girlfriend about it. After some time she agreed to try wearing a diaper for me during sex, it was like all my Xmases had come at once. This is where the problems have started though. Now I yearn for it in my life 24/7 to the point that it is all I think about. My girlfriend does not get any satisfaction out of it and says she hates it, but has done it for me a few times. I'm now pressuring her to do it because it is tearing me apart. Only when she is wearing a diaper am I truly happy.
I hate myself for making her do it as i've always been of the opinion that you should never be forced to do something, but it's become such a normal thing for me that I feel all i'm asking her to do is put on an item of clothing. She obviously doesn't see it that way and says it makes her feel unsexy.
Now we're not together (there were other factors to why this happened) but still seeing each other and i'm still putting pressure on her. I hate myself for it but can't see any way out. I have a good job, lots of friends etc. but this is driving me insane and effecting everything.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What do I do?