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Thread: Help with my DL problem

  1. #1

    Default Help with my DL problem

    Hi there,

    I'm new here and looking for some help.

    I've been a DL for as long as I can remember, but it's always been something I hid from everyone. My only interaction with it was through porn until recently when I told my current girlfriend about it. After some time she agreed to try wearing a diaper for me during sex, it was like all my Xmases had come at once. This is where the problems have started though. Now I yearn for it in my life 24/7 to the point that it is all I think about. My girlfriend does not get any satisfaction out of it and says she hates it, but has done it for me a few times. I'm now pressuring her to do it because it is tearing me apart. Only when she is wearing a diaper am I truly happy.

    I hate myself for making her do it as i've always been of the opinion that you should never be forced to do something, but it's become such a normal thing for me that I feel all i'm asking her to do is put on an item of clothing. She obviously doesn't see it that way and says it makes her feel unsexy.

    Now we're not together (there were other factors to why this happened) but still seeing each other and i'm still putting pressure on her. I hate myself for it but can't see any way out. I have a good job, lots of friends etc. but this is driving me insane and effecting everything.

    Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What do I do?

    Thanks.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by sgp123 View Post
    Hi there,

    I'm new here and looking for some help.

    I've been a DL for as long as I can remember, but it's always been something I hid from everyone. My only interaction with it was through porn until recently when I told my current girlfriend about it. After some time she agreed to try wearing a diaper for me during sex, it was like all my Xmases had come at once. This is where the problems have started though. Now I yearn for it in my life 24/7 to the point that it is all I think about. My girlfriend does not get any satisfaction out of it and says she hates it, but has done it for me a few times. I'm now pressuring her to do it because it is tearing me apart. Only when she is wearing a diaper am I truly happy.

    I hate myself for making her do it as i've always been of the opinion that you should never be forced to do something, but it's become such a normal thing for me that I feel all i'm asking her to do is put on an item of clothing. She obviously doesn't see it that way and says it makes her feel unsexy.

    Now we're not together (there were other factors to why this happened) but still seeing each other and i'm still putting pressure on her. I hate myself for it but can't see any way out. I have a good job, lots of friends etc. but this is driving me insane and effecting everything.

    Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What do I do?

    Thanks.
    Welcome to adisc! We certainly can help you - you've come to the right place. However, you may not like the advice we give you.

    First of all, it appears you are new to the site. Can you tell us a little more about yourself other than your dl side? Hobbies, interests, etc.? This will help us relate to you as we are a support community.

    Second of all, being a dl is a fetish and you will think about it often. You're still young so sex is never far from your mind anyway. Unfortunately for you, not everyone will share a fetish you like, regardless of what it is. Forcing someone to indulge in your fetishes and fantasies is not a good way to sustain a relationship. You're still friends, so that is a good thing. For now, back off for awhile and see what happens.

    In the meantime, enjoy your friends and try not to think about things. Good luck and stay tuned for more advice...

  3. #3

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    Hi Zipperless. Sorry I would obviously have introduced myself a little better but i'm so low right now I just had to get it out there. I'm big into sports and film, I also love hip-hop.

    I know I shouldn't force her to do anything, that's half the reason I feel so bad. I just can't envisage going back to 'normal' life and can't imagine life without her. It's an awful catch-22. I've never wanted anything so bad in my life and that scares me, how can this be so important?

  4. #4

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    Hey there and welcome this is what the forum is for to help people. Tho i have not been in a similar situation one thing is clear you need to find away of controlling these feelings you have as you say you have a good job and lots of friends and you don't want it to start effecting that side of your life. May i ask if you have a friend that you can trust enough to speak to about it. But if not then here you will find people that can help some people that may have been in a similar situation. Any way good luck. Leo

  5. #5

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    Hi Leo. I haven't spoken to anyone else in my life about it ever and don't plan to. I just worry that it will change their perception of me as a person, as the whole scene is still so misunderstood. That's kind of why i'm here, hoping that people can see things from my POV.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by sgp123 View Post
    Now we're not together (there were other factors to why this happened) but still seeing each other
    Your saying your not dating each other anymore and are just friends now, right? If so, you shouldn't be asking her to have anything to do with your sexual fetish.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by sgp123 View Post
    That's kind of why i'm here, hoping that people can see things from my POV.
    Its a AB/DL/IC forum. that said its not designed to be a echo chamber for your desires, passions or anything else. If all you want is people to agree with you and your practices, you're looking in the wrong place.

    If your looking for varied advice though, people will be happy to give it.

  7. #7

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    With what others have already said in mind--that this is not, as Fire2box says, an "echo chamber"--maybe you should take a (rather large) step back and look at your life.

    What do you have in it? Who are you at 26? Now I am asking these questions without knowing any answers because you have not provided them, so this could go anywhere at all, but let's see: where are you living? Do you have your own place or are you still living at home? You sound as if you have your own place, which would suggest you are one of the lucky people who are employed. If that is the case, what kind of work do you do? Is it something you like? Do you have friends who are not this girl? You say you enjoy films: with whom do you see them? Do you go alone? Do you go with her all the time? With buddies? Are there guys you go to bars with? Baseball games? Museums? Clubs?

    Do you read? Watch TV? Write? Do you spend a lot of time playing video games? Interactive ones? Single-player ones?

    Who are you? What do you have in your life?

    Step back from yourself and ask these questions and more, and be honest about your answers. You will discover that there is a heck of a lot more there than the fetish you are currently obsessed by. Now you are here asking for help. You probably came hoping, at least on a conscious level, that the people here (being ABs ourselves) would support you and tell you that, sure, of course, absolutely it is fine to want what you want. But that isn't right. And I will bet that you KNOW that isn't right. You are intelligent enough to be completely aware that it is not correct to coerce a girl into wearing diapers when she doesn't want to. Further, you're intelligent enough to suspect that, even if other issues were in play in your breakup, that one has to factor in there somewhere. So you are here now, and what you'll find is a whole lot of supportive people who care about helping those who have somehow found their way into this lifelong dilemma handle it as well as they can. It is a huge burden if you let it become one, but it can also be a joyful and playful extension of the rest of your life if you find a way to make it so.

    Either way, it isn't going anywhere, so you need to learn how to handle it. But do yourself and this young woman a favor and cool it with her until you can manage to get past the desperation of needing to see her in diapers. Nothing good is going to come of that. Nothing good at all.

  8. #8

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    Firebox, it was not my intention to use the forum as an "echo chamber" for my passions and desires and I wonder how you came to that conclusion. I came here to ask for help, however it may come.

    KaraokeGirl, you are obviously right and I thought I made it clear that I know it is not right to do what I am doing with regards to making her do something she doesn't want to do. My question is not if it is wrong, but how others may have dealt with the situation to a point where it can be controlled. You are right in suggesting that this was a major contributing factor towards our breakup and that is horrible to deal with. I'm not asking for sympathy when I say that, i'm just making my feelings as clear as possible.

    In response to your questions about who I am, I work in a job that I used to love but now feel like i'm treading water. I live with a friend, go to watch sport a lot with friends and am out at bars and restaurants a few times a week with friends and colleagues, I generally watched films with my girlfriend. I have a very full life and really am thankful for it, which is why I don't want this to alter things when I have it pretty damn good.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by sgp123 View Post
    KaraokeGirl,

    In response to your questions about who I am, I work in a job that I used to love but now feel like i'm treading water. I live with a friend, go to watch sport a lot with friends and am out at bars and restaurants a few times a week with friends and colleagues, I generally watched films with my girlfriend. I have a very full life and really am thankful for it, which is why I don't want this to alter things when I have it pretty damn good.
    So try to take that step back. Try to see your life beyond the fetish. It won't go away but it can be controlled. :-)

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by sgp123 View Post
    Firebox, it was not my intention to use the forum as an "echo chamber" for my passions and desires and I wonder how you came to that conclusion. I came here to ask for help, however it may come.
    You said "That's kind of why i'm here, hoping that people can see things from my POV." to me that suggested you wanted support in how to get your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend to wear diapers or at the very least, understand your point of view.

    The best thing you can do from my point of view is...

    A. If shes still your girlfriend, discuss your fetish with her and realize you shouldn't force her to wear. Admit that it's likely not going to go away (rarely does for most people it seems) and be fine/happy that your able to wear diapers at all even if you have to change yourself.

    B. If she isn't your girlfriend you said "Now we're not together" then "but we're still seeing each other". Either your together, or your not.
    If so, then you need to move on and realize its not going to work with her.

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