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Thread: Sexuaity and Identity ?

  1. #1

    Default Sexuaity and Identity ?

    Ok so here it go's for give me if this post has come up before .
    Sexuaity for some people is not to important or some may not even think about it and about a month ago i was the same.
    But over time i have been thinking about it more and the way i see or understand Sexuaity is that it gives you a form of Identity it makes up a big part of who you are and where you fit into modern society.
    But for some one who is genuinely unsure about there Sexuaity can leave them feeling a little lost self conscious and not to mention confused.
    So gay or straight that i understand but when it comes to bisexual it seems to fall under a gray area some say that there is no such thing that people who say they are bisexual are just greedy or say you can't be both. I know not every one thinks like this and every one is different but for a example i am very much attracted to (Karen O) she is the vocalist from the band (Yeah Yeah Yeahs) but at same time i am very much attracted to (Jack white) form the (white stripes). So one female and one male but the level of attraction is the same. Tho i am confused by this feeling i can see that one thing is clear these two people are very similar in character and have similar personalties. So is this the true feeling of being bisexual being more attracted to some ones personality and character over there gender ?.
    Thank you for taking the time to read this post or tho i am a bit shy and topics like this make me a little nervous i thought i would put it out there so i can learn a little more about myself from other people's knowledge. I would really appreciate Any thoughts stories experiences or any info you may wish to add but please keep it clean and constructive if you can. Super Hugs Little Leo

  2. #2


    Hi LittleLeo,

    To be honest I am kind of going through the same thing myself right now. Personally I think that when I am attracted to someone it is because of the person they are, not their gender. I have spoken about these feelings to a friend of mine who is bisexual and she says that that is also how she identifies her attractions. I think in the end though it would come down to being with a person, whether they are male or female, and whether you enjoyed it or not.

    Hope that helps, feel free to PM me if you need to talk.


  3. #3


    Oh Silly Boy. Those who say that you can not be attracted to both sex's do not know what they are talking about. For one thing you re still finding your why in this part of your life. You know that I was the same way. They call us late bloomers. We didn't have feels for ether sex till latter than most people.

    Feel your way through this. These are new fells for you. But do not be afraid of them. You know that I have been atracted to bothe sexes all my life. It is just who we are.

  4. #4


    I went through something along these lines in my life... I have never really been attracted to male or femal parts... I do occaisionally become extremely atracted to celebrities.. Billie Joe from Green Day (male) and Mila Jovovich from the Resident Evil Movies (female) are two that I have loved since I was very young... 10 or so at the least... As I grew older and learned that people had diferent sexualities I became very confused. I dated who I liked and tried not to think about it... Then I met my bf.. who is physically male, but identifies himself more with females.. I accept him for who he is, and he accepts me with identifying as a gender neutral female. I am not into people for their parts, nor am I into them for their specific personality traits. So i am not straight. I am not gay, I am not bi-sexual, I am not Pan sexual,

    I identify myself as DEMI-Sexual
    I like people exactly for who they are. And I find everyone beautiful. Every single human body. But not in a perverted way, just an artistic way. I dont need sexual things, although I am not apposed to trying anything, I do not have a lust. After figuring these things out about myself it relieved a huge stress off my mind.
    For some people, ,myself included, it is very important to find out who i am whether there is a name for it or not, and for others, they just need to be comfortable with themselves. But I do believe gender and sexual identity are very important things to an individual, but they should not be important to others around them. No one should be judged for how they were born

    Just remember to be yourself, have fun, respect your body, be safe, and learn from your experiences. Everyone can make it through anything if they try. Remember. The most important person you need love from is yourself

  5. #5


    I identify as bi-sexual. I'm certainly attracted to either sex, but react differently to both. I lived an exclusively homosexual lifestyle in college, but after graduation, married my wife and had two children. I find beauty in both genders, and can be sexually turned on by either. I consider myself as sexually complicated, and I also have my share of kinks, but that's what being human is all about.

  6. #6


    I'm 18 and just recently discovering my bisexualism. I think the reason I haven't really accepted myself fully yet is because all my life I thought I was straight. I kind of feel like liking guys isn't part of who I am and I'm kind of scared of what will happen if I fall in love with a guy. It sounds homophobic of me, but it's just weird realizing your sexuality later in life as opposed to just your childhood.

  7. #7


    Labels are useful for categorizing stuff; it helps to understand the world. I am not against labels per se... I mean as we grow up we understand things in terms of simplistic models, and gradually move onto more complex views of the world. Sexuality, while straightforward for many people, is not so simple for others... And there are so many shades of grey for so many people it can be confusing - extra-so when it's quite possible for your sexuality to change as time goes on. I know two happily married bisexual people, one male and one female. Happily for them they are both monogamous; so while each MIGHT have ended up with either gender as a partner they happened to end up with an opposite sex partner.

    As to who you might be, that's for you to say. Even among bisexuals there is variation, lots of it. You can go for guys and gals who are very similar, who are both of a certain type, say very feminine. Or perhaps guys who are super-masculine but ladies who are soft and pretty and lady-like. When you throw romantic attraction in the mix, as a separate thing from lustful attraction you can see how things can get very complicated. Plenty of guys get crushes on guys they look up to who wouldn't dream of getting it on physically with them.

    Wait - it gets even more complicated still. Let us assume you know what is involved in going "all the way," and you know what a top and a bottom refer to. It is entirely possible for a bi person to prefer to be a top with ladies but a bottom with guys. Or vice-versa.

    You are absolutely right that one's sexuality defines an important part of who a person is. But as far as I am concerned, all that matters is you figure out who you are and are comfortable with it; that and being physically healthy. I suggest you masturbate lots alternately fantasizing about men who attract you then women. See what you are happy with. Don't be surprised if you flip-flop and sometimes you are in the mood for guys, sometimes girls... or lady-boys who are all-lady except their privates. Or hermaphroditic dragons... or something else.

    Now I am going to recite a poem. It has advice for you. Don't worry if you have to reread it a few times, but do think about what it says. I'll underline the bit I reckon will be most useful to you.

    So yeah do explore, in imagination then as opportunity presents itself, irl. Just do all your exploration safely, and try not to hurt others in your experiments; people can get attached to you and it's possible to hurt them by accident.

    Sorry to be so vague, but it's hard to be any more specific. Oh yeah, and accept, if you can, that you, like me and like nearly all 26,000+ of us on this site, have a thing for wearing diapers, and it's just about as safe, affordable, and unharmful an obsession as there is. You've had a rough time lately, so be kind to yourself. I repeat

    Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
    You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
    you have a right to be here.
    Last edited by Raccoon; 04-Sep-2013 at 05:30.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by BabyLink View Post
    I'm 18 and just recently discovering my bisexualism. I think the reason I haven't really accepted myself fully yet is because all my life I thought I was straight. I kind of feel like liking guys isn't part of who I am and I'm kind of scared of what will happen if I fall in love with a guy. It sounds homophobic of me, but it's just weird realizing your sexuality later in life as opposed to just your childhood.
    This is exactly what I'm talking about right here.

    I thought I was straight my whole life, and in a way I am, but also I realized that I was never normal, that I always experimented and had some attractions to other guys, though I still have attractions to girls. And yes BabyLink, I'm scared too.

  9. #9


    Some really good and uses full info here thank you. Its very wired as i find my self looking at girls most of the time but out of no where a dude will catch my eye and i get a very strong feeling of desire and attraction. I just want to be comfortable with these feelings to be happy and find my place. Same time i'm not going to rush into things. Super Hugs Leo

  10. #10


    I fall into the late Bloomer category. married at 21 to a woman. divorced several years later after realizing the mistake I made. now I'm 30 years old anf a single parent (4 almost 5 year old daughter) also from a straight relationship with a woman. now I'm with a Guy after coming to the conclusion I was gay....and now...I still feel I'm not straight. I know I'm not crazy about sex but with this Guy when I'm feeling game, it feels really good but I hate all the work to get to the end and because of my past abuse half the time end up feeling dirty and used. I also miss being with woman. I feel like emotionally and intimately minus the sex I'm more attracted to women...I miss having that although the mates I have had have been less than desirable partners. sexually I don't like to be in control but yet have problems when sex happens and I'm not into it. women expect men to be the top...the one in control. I'm not there yet and may never be. maybe I'm bisexual? I have no scares me not knowing for sure but I know I will one day.

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