For many years I have been keeping my baby side contained to night time. Doing this I don't think I have been being my whole self. It is like I have been living a half a life.
As most of you know I went back to wearing diapers 24/7 over a month ago. Now into my second month I have not used the toilet in over three weeks. I do my wetting and messing in my diaper. It surprised me how easy it was for me to do this. I have no thoughts of should I do it. I have had no guilt are feelings of shame about it.
I was laying in bed reading last night, diapered for the night and reading, while sucking on my new pacifier. When it hit me that I can be both an Adult and baby at the same time.
Not that would go out anywhere sucking my paci, but the same time I can do things that may be a little childish and not feel a shamed of ,
Why I have been doing this to myself I don't know, or maybe I do. That fact that that this thing is not what those would call normal. Just what is normal these days.?
Now hat I''m able to bring the two sides of me together I am beginning to feel more confident about myself. It will take a while for the two to come together but I will not fight against it.
It did bother me at first when I realized that I ill be wearing diaper the rest of my life, but now that was the beginning of my accepting who I rally am. For some odd reason that I may never know are really don't want to know I am both an adult and a baby.
Ps1 For me have no choice but to get an Rx for diapers. I do not think of them as free diapers. I have worked and paid taxes since i was 14 till I was 50. being in disability I cannot afford the extra cost now. This is about keeping things dry.
Ps2 Please do not bring up anything from a closed post on here.
Ps3 I have leard a lot about myself since joining this group. I wish I had found this site a few years ago. This site is what the heading says Support. We all need it at one time or another.