Maybe I am just more sensitive than the average person, but I have these raw nerves about some things and I just fail utterly at protecting them. One specific issue is when someone makes me feel like I am stupid for things I can't help. My boss, for example, is a 62 year old battle axe who, for over six years I've tried to humanize, but every time I am close she says or does something to me that triggers murderous thoughts, because she treats me like the dog who pissed on her carpet. It's over really minor things, too.
Last night she asks me to replace the ribbon in a printer. OK, not a problem. However, I don't know where they keep the replacements, so I ask. And she gives me this incredulous look, and asks me in that over the top sarcastic manner, "you DON'T know not knowing where the ribbons are?" As if I should know and I'm stupid for not knowing.
Again today, there's a delivery going to a place I've never been to a street I haven't heard of. It looks like a mistake because it just says "North St". North what street? We have dozens of North _____ Streets. I look on the map and don't see it listed where it would fall alphabetically so I try calling the customer, no answer. So I write that on the ticket, no such street, no answer.
Apparently there is a North Street, and it was listed last after all the other North _____ Streets. That doesn't seem proper to me, but whatever, I didn't see it in my rush to get the deliveries out (they were piling up). So I get a patronizing snark from my boss, who couldn't find anything in our zone if her life depended on it. But she made me feel dumb for not knowing where a street I've never been to and couldn't find on a map was.
This has happened at least once a week for 6 years and three months. You can't talk to her or reason with her. I'm damned no matter what- if I ask for clarification so I don't make a mistake, I'm stupid for not knowing. If I make a judgment and it's not the decision she would have made, I'm an imbecile who should know better. She belittles everyone and she's a bully. My natural instinct is to crush bullies but then I'd be out of a job. I want to quit and move on but I can't because my husband hasn't found a steady gig yet since being laid off and if I leave we're screwed financially. I don't know how much more abuse I can take, though. I can barely keep a lid on my rage when this happens and I end up fighting with my husband who doesn't think this shoud get to me as much as it does.
But it does and I can't help that. At my wit's end.