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Thread: A New Life

  1. #1

    Default A New Life

    Everyone before you begin reading this know that is not abdl related.

    Todays a new day for me. Today i start taking control of the addictions that have ruled my life for the last 8 years. Since I was 13 I have drank, smoked cigarettes, and smoked weed. When I turned 19 i started to see that I may have a problem, i understand that its normal for a 21 year old to drink quite a lot but im at the point where i know its a problem. Im able to control myself somewhat, if i have to do something such as go to work or a family even im able to abstain from doing it but when i dont have to stay sober i dont. Im always looking for a way to get a buzz. Two years ago i started doing synthetic marijuana and smoked about 2 grams a day, then i started smoking pot at the same pace. Only recently have i stopped smoking but ive compensated by drinking. It scares me that over the last two years the only times I was sober was when I was at work, its even scarier to me that for 6 months now ive been trying to get this under control and ive failed. I make it about a day and then i make up some excuse to start again. Its like theres a schizm in my mind. One half says its okay while the other knows how much damage im doing by not stopping. I know that it could be worse but I wanna get control before i lose everything. Its already ruined one of the best relationships i have ever been in, its made it so that im not happy unless i have a buzz or a cigarette in my hand, and now i find myself in so much debt that im starting to drowned in it. But things are different, yesterday i broke down and drank again and while i was drinking i still wasnt happy it was like it made it worse. This isnt a post begging for help though any advice id gladly take, and im not quiting entirely, i just want control again. I want to enjoy being sober. I want to be happy. I guess this is more of a post to declare my new life. Thank you for reading this, i feel more confident now after actually getting these thoughts out. Wish me luck, please.

  2. #2


    Take it one step at a time ok take the worst start there then work your way from that .
    One step then the next try aaa for the drinking it may help .
    The best of luck.

  3. #3


    Hey their. Change can be hard but you know you have a small problem with it and that's the 1st and biggest thing to get over. your not in denial their for you can do some think about it. i wish you the best of luck in your time of change And remember their are people here that can give you support if you need it as i have found out in my own time of change. take care and good luck Leo

  4. #4


    Before I read and reply,I just said this to another guy: if you hit the enter button when you complete a thought it will put a space between paragraphs, making your posts easier to read and preventing your "wall of text" that can be off-putting, causing people to say tl;dr which means "too long; didn't read. This idea will serve you well wherever you post.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I asked the mods to move the thread to mature topics; you may prefer it to be in ec+ or dc+ , but as you yourself said in your first sentence it doesn't concern being an ab.

    That said I do wish you luck and success. please consider AA or NA, and take things at a measured pace, perhaps cutting down on smoking to start.If your new job provides a psychologist in your benefits take advantage. And keep us informed how you are doing.

  5. #5


    To help yourself in my opinion you need to find a AA or Substance Abuse facility in the locality where you live. They can give you the help and guidance you need to help you solve your
    problems. We here can give you some advice but were not professionals. It might take an hour or two of time out of your day. A lot of the time these are done in group sessions with
    people who have the same problems as you.

    You have to be able to man up and seek the help you need or you will continue to go downhill. I hope you are willing to do that and I wish you luck if you will do that.

  6. #6


    Thank you everyone for your time and advice, i greatly appreciate it. Its been smooth so far but then again thats usually how it is in the beginning. This really is a great community.

  7. #7


    I used to drink and smoke pot. Did it for many years. I have not done ether in over 13 years now. I found for me it was a social thing. I did what others around me did. It was my way of fitting in. There were times I tried to drowned my sorrows to. I had no problem giving ether up once I seen I was only harming my self. You need a good support team behind you too. If AA meetings work for try them

    If you need to talk to some one I'm on here everyday. Slip ups are only human. We do not beat our selves up over them We see just what they are slip ups.

  8. #8



    I think that you saying this out loud, is as helpful for you to hear for yourself, as it is to reach out to others.

    I can't say with any certainty for myself, whether you may have a bonafide physiological addiction...or whether it may be more of a psychological issue. (or any combination of both)

    It may well have started as one, and later encompassed the other... at any rate, whether specifically for addiction, or for a more general assessment/evaluation...I believe that it will be in your best interest to seek professional help. You may also need a physical evaluation from a Medical Doctor.

    You may also wish to plunge into this, rather than giving yourself time to procrastinate further...

    I have additional concerns for how young that you began these habits, and/or addictions...(I was twelve, when I started coffee, alcohol, and smoking tobacco...18 when I tried using pot/marijuana).

    I myself, found additional, or different difficulties than those who didn't begin such destructive issues, until they were 21-years of age, or older...

    One has to be careful with such they can too easily become excuses...individual results...and needs, may vary.

    Get a psychological consultation, and a medical evaluation please...You have the convenience of the remainder of this weekend to do some research...if you don't already know where to go... (no pressure, well maybe a little)


  9. #9


    I think you know my story Foxkit. When I was in college, I binge drank and smoked a lot of pot along with some other drugs. By the end of my senior year, I went home for the weekend and had a psychotic break, during dinner when my parents had company. I started crying for no apparent reason, and couldn't stop. The next thing I knew I was seeing a psychiatrist at a residential mental facility. I attribute much of my problems to my addiction.

    I know why I drank and smoked, and it was to escape who I was, and the thoughts that were in my head. I was trying to slowly commit suicide. My shrink gave me a suicide card which was his personal phone number. Even though I recovered, I still drank a lot, even during my marriage until one day I started bleeding from a stomach ulcer, and went through the tunnel of light while at a medical facility. I saw my parents and other deceased relatives, and then I retracted, went backward through the tunnel and found myself conscious once again in the wheel chair where they had been rolling me to a vehicle.

    Now, I never have more than one beer in a 24 hour period. I had to reach the bottom and technically die before I did something about it. I still have to live in my head, but I keep myself busy, and that keeps me stable and for the most part, happy. You can do this, and if you want to live a healthy life, you must do it. You can learn to live in moderation. For me, the most important thing was recognizing why I wanted to erase my mind and thoughts. Once you can love and accept yourself, you will beat this thing. I wish you the best. Hugs.

  10. #10


    "A new life," I like the sound of that. I admire your courage for embarking on this journey and I wish you luck.

    I know how hard it is making these changes in your life. When I was your age(jeez, how old does that sound), I was drinking a bottle of Southern Comfort every night, smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, not to mention a fair amount of weed. I went to work hangover pretty well every day. I didn't want to die, I just didn't want to live the way I was living.

    I saw several doctors about depression, and they just wanted to prescribe meds. Since I had just lost a partner to suicide with prescribed meds, this wasn't an option. Eventually, I found a doctor who really listened and he turned my life around. He got me involved in an exercise program which I thought was just a joke. But I started running and I really took to it. By the following year, I ran a twenty six mile marathon in two hours and fifty five minutes. It completely changed my outlook on life and I found a strength I never knew I had. In later years it helped give me the courage to go back to school and find more meaningful work. Anything became possible.

    What worked for me was that I didn't simply quit a negative lifestyle, I replaced it with one that challenged and motivated me. They often talk about the 'runner's high' which in itself may be an addiction but it's a healthy one. Today, I have no interest in booze, weed, or any other drug. I'm happy with the way my life worked out, and looking back, I'm proud of the courage I had back then.

    No doubt you will find your own answers in this phase of your life and I'm sure they will be nothing like mine. I just wanted to share mine with you to let you know you are not alone. You're on the right path.

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