You may remember me from such threads as: http://www.adisc.org/forum/greetings...u-goodbye.html
Well. I did well, for a while! Found other outlets, other means of getting rid of stress, blah blah...
But it always lingered there. And eventually I just fell back into it. Like an alcoholic that took a sip of alcohol after just getting a 30 day chip.
And it sucks, because I hate myself for it. I never really accepted it anyways. But now that I failed, I hate myself more. I hate myself when I indulge it, but I do anyways. And so goes the cycle of self-loathing.
I don't know what to do. I can either not do it and just have an annoying urge, like a stick poking my brain, all the time. Or I can do it and hate myself.
Sorry for the rant. I'm just tired of it.