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Thread: Seeking Some Relationship Advice

  1. #1

    Default Seeking Some Relationship Advice

    Ok so here goes this is my first question for the community.

    I have been dating a girl since March of this year. Things started out great and after a about 2 weeks to a month of dating I tell her about my AB side. I always try to get that out there fast because I know that some people will just never be ok with it. I feel like its just better to get that out there before either person starts to get too emotionally invested. So, she at first freaked out a little and when I explained to her that that was a part of who I was and that I would understand if that was a deal breaker she calmed down about the whole thing.

    For the first month or so there after things were great she would cater to my AB side at night and diaper me, change me, read stories to me, give me bottles the whole nine yards. It was great and I started feeling like I had maybe found "the one". It was around this time we moved in together it wasn't necessarily what I wanted to do but she always wanted me around and didn't like when I would try to head back to my apartment in the evenings.

    Shortly after that month though things started to go down hill. She stopped doing it as often and then she stopped altogether. I feel like there are certain things that I put up with to help make her happy. For example I'm not big on having animals in the house yet I was ok with letting her get a dog of which she got a breed that I dislike the most. She also has real bad anxiety and I do my best to help calm her down and cater to her when she needs it. We've talked about all this and there's more to it that I could say but essentially what it boils down to is I do a ton of little things around the house and for both of us. I just feel like she doesn't try to return the favor ever anymore.

    I've started to wonder if it is because she has realized that she despises my AB tendencies. I know that I have started to resent her for not partaking in the activities with me anymore. The more I set around thinking about it the more I want to be with someone who I feel will understand me and who I can fully enjoy this side of myself with.

    I hope I don't come off as sounding totally ridiculous. I'd just like some words of wisdom. Maybe I have went about this all wrong. It is kind of a touchy subject for me to discuss so I often times avoid talking to her about how I feel and that's largely due to the fact that by now we have had the conversation about 3 or 4 times and nothing ever changes. I feel like I should just shut up about it now.

    I do feel like I am in love with this girl, but I just have grown tired of doing everything for her and getting nothing in return.

  2. #2

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    Hello, and welcome to the forums!

    It sounds like you and your girlfriend went from 0 to 60 in no time flat, regarding ABDL stuff. It's not too surprising to me that that may have resulted in (or been rooted in) some issues.

    Honestly, it's a little odd that she was suddenly so enthusiastic about it. Did you continue to discuss it with her and talk about her feelings on it after the big reveal? Why did she agree to do all these things, when she apparently had no prior interest in it (or awareness of it) before meeting you? Even people who genuinely enjoy these things usually take some time to adjust. That's kind of a red flag to me, it just doesn't sound honest.

    It sounds like she felt she'd received an ultimatum ("do these things for me or I'm gone") and, especially considering that you mention she has anxiety issues, that ultimatum may have triggered her to do whatever it took to keep you around, even if she didn't really want to. Also, you describe some things that sound pretty codependent -- that she needs you around ALL the time, to take care of her and help her through anxiety, etc. She may have thought, somewhere in her mind, "If I can do all these things for him, then in return he'll do everything I need." Unfortunately, along with being terribly unhealthy, it's just not sustainable to act in ways that aren't natural and comfortable.

    There's also the fact that you seem to be answering her codependent tendencies with responses that feed into it. Particularly moving in with her after just one or two months, not because you wanted to but because SHE did. Do you have any boundaries with her at all? I'm honestly not surprised you're finding yourself stifled and unfulfilled; it's a common result when your life gets consumed with another person.

    It doesn't sound like there's a lot of genuine communication happening in your relationship. I would suggest some serious thought and consideration before getting in any deeper. Then again, you already seem pretty clear on what you need; and she seems pretty clear on what she's willing (or able) to do.

    I would advise you to consider what may have gotten you here. This kind of relationship breakdown doesn't happen unless there's individual issues underneath -- it's a little weird that you didn't pick up on her short-lived and possibly false enthusiasm, just like it's a little weird she went from "no freakin' way" to "of course honey" overnight.

    No matter where you go from here, you might benefit from some reading on codependency, boundaries, & communication.

    I hope I don't sound like too much a downer here... I've lived through more than my share of unhealthy relationships, and I've been dealing with the fallout ever since. I just hate to see someone going through the same thing.

    Best of luck to you, buddy.

  3. #3

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    Just to add to what Faennejo said, you may also consider what else you want to base a relationship on. While we all know that our lifestyle can be...involved...and that it is a big deal to us, basing a relationship on a single thing, be it a fetish, music, or any other single common interest usually doesn't work out.

    We all chose partners and friends to complement different aspects of who we are. A relationship with a partner should generally complement us. By building a relationship on one part of yourself isn't likely to succeed. A friendship maybe.

    My wife, to my knowledge, is vanilla. She knows I'm a DL though I've always poorly explained it and isn't into it at all nor does she understand it. I wouldn't trade her for the world because we are compatable and she fulfills me in many other ways.

    It is unfortunate but this part of us isn't always something we can share with our partners. Some are able to, some aren't. You need to decide for yourself if our lifestyle is going to be the main criteria for you having a relationship.

  4. #4

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    cbrracer:

    To make a few things clear before I give you what I consider to be my adivce:
    I'm not an AB - but rather an Incontinent guy with a DL Side... also I have never had any desires to involve my Girlfriend in my DL Side.
    We're both pretty kinky on a general level - share a few kinks... but the DL aspect is just something I am not up to do together (it creeps me out to get diapered - really not my kind of thing).
    BUT - SHE knows .... she knows about all my kinks, and I know all of hers.
    We've been together for like 12 years now and the love is strong....

    So take my advice as something that I write down from my own perspective and experience - but keep in mind, that I can not relate to your needs/desires etc... and neither do I know your girlfriend.
    Thus the advice given should be treated as a concept / an idea, some input, rather than a solid solution to your specific needs & problems.
    Just wanted to make that clear and I guess it will help you to understand where I'm coming from...


    Advice:
    I think most importantly despite the other aspect I'll be writing on about further down my reply: COMMUNICATION.
    If you want your relationship to last, to work through difficulties etc... then communication is the no.1 key point in my book.
    You come here for advice - that is one thing, but NO ONE but your girlfriend can actually provide you with more insight into the situation.
    You need to be open about what bugs you and you need to be open to whatever bothers her.
    There could be a ton of reasons for the changes - but only through a good dialog you will find out and possibly find a solution.

    However:
    If my girl would come up with some "crazy / new / freaky" Desires to me and wanting me to help her fulfill them, I certainly (as long as it's within my comfort-zone) would play along for a bit.
    Even if it's not my kind of gig...
    BUT if it becomes a necessity - something done every day.... something done every night, at one point I'd be pretty fed up with it - despite the fact that it might make her happy (at my expense) - and would probably look for a way to change or drop it entirely.

    Moderation is key... it's not just about compromises (you being ok with her getting that dog).
    It's also about boundaries, personal limitations, etc.
    And just because she's "OK" With your AB Desires (and kudos for being open early on) it doesn't mean she wants to indulge day afterday.
    Maybe she finds the whole mommy-baby role tiresome... maybe she's happy to indulge FOR YOU ONCE IN A WHILE.
    But honestly I think the situation went over the top, by yourself indulging every night at least.

    Also moving together after just about a month is REALLY SPEEDY... basically you moved in with a stranger.
    Ok, you've been seeing each other for a few weeks - thus not a complete stranger... but you really don't know each other at that point.
    And moving in so early can be quite a learning experience.

    All that added to what I think is a lack of open communication about problems and you have indeed, a problem.

    Sit down and have a MATURE ADULT talk TOGETHER...

    Maybe do cool stuff, adult stuff, together like romantic dinners, adventurous holidays, sports... don't know... have fun.
    But I guess besides the talking you need to make sure your FETISH/KINK/ETC. DOES NOT CONTROL YOUR LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP.
    Only then I believe the kinks to be able to happily integrate nicely in a relationship.
    The moment such stuff becomes the only center of focus, the daily ritual, it will become pretty difficult for a healthy relationship.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by cbrracer View Post
    It is kind of a touchy subject for me to discuss so I often times avoid talking to her about how I feel and that's largely due to the fact that by now we have had the conversation about 3 or 4 times and nothing ever changes. I feel like I should just shut up about it now.

    I do feel like I am in love with this girl, but I just have grown tired of doing everything for her and getting nothing in return.
    You also need to understand that a "healthy" relationship isn't building on "I do this for you - and I expect you to do this for me in return" - actually that is a VERY unhealthy attitude if you want any relationship to last. This "quid pro quo" thing isn't working in a partnership.
    It can work for certain aspects - but usually if it's about "big stuff" or stuff someone isn't keen on doing it will only create a LOT of stress.

    You mentioned that you feel that you do EVERYTHING FOR HER and get NOTHING IN RETURN.
    Now if this is entirely true, than the relationship is pretty much doomed to say so.
    But I doubt that this is the case.
    You maybe FEEL like you do EVERYTHING and get NOTHING... but maybe your set of expectations is quite "off".
    For example I get the feeling that the major thing you WANT out of this relationship if for her to CATER TO YOUR AB NEEDS.
    Maybe, I'm just hinting here, she's simply NOT OK with doing it often.... and then it's not something you can or should force.
    Simply speaking you need to be clear about your priorities as well... what is it you are looking for...
    How important is your AB side in terms of living it out with your partner truly to you. Are you willing to have this the occasional but happy thing - are you willing to set it back?
    or is it mandatory for your happiness that this desire is constantly (daily/very often fulfilled).
    I'm not judgmental here - although I had to say that it could be unhealthy if your desires rule your life (and most often ruin your life).

    For example if my Girlfriend would only want to sit at home and watch TV in the time we're not at work - I'd say that's OK for some time... but if she wouldn't want to be exploring the world out there, travel, love, go out, be adventurous, generally speaking: be very active then I'd say our relationship wouldn't stand the test of time. 'cause I'd not be willing to skip on all of these activities only to sit in front of the square box of pixelated entertainment day by night.

    So if you feel that your AB Side is of omnipotent importance to your own lifestyle and you NEED to have it fulfilled together with her, but she's not up for that, you only have so many options:
    try to change your perspective or potentially loose her.

  5. #5

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    First I just want to say thank you so much everyone for your very thought out and detailed responses. It helps a lot to hear everyones opinions on how I could be handling this wrong.

    I do feel like there is a certain level of codependency that tries to exist in our relationship. However, at the same time we both lead fairly independent lives neither one of us has shunned our friends in lieu of this relationship as I know can happen when some people get involved with one another. We still go out sometimes together and sometimes separately with our friends. An, example of something I'm not real big on but am supportive of her doing, is hanging out with her guy friends. My answer to this is, I will trust anyone until they give me a reason not too. Most of my guy friends all have girls that have some type of guy friend and nobody I know really loves that fact. The point to all that is, we still do things separate from one another and don't mind being away from one another. I don't feel like there is anything "clingy" about our relationship. I admit I do need to do some reading on the codependency that FaennaJo mentioned.

    I would agree that the indulging every night was going over the top. I guess I got all excited that she wanted to explore this side of me and allow me to enjoy the fetish. We did talk about this after the initial every night exploits started to change, and we agreed to not engage in it every night but maybe like once or twice a week. Obviously not every week either. I do try to enjoy a variety of other things in my life and this isn't the only thing I derive enjoyment from. We go on weekend vacations together and typically when we go out drinking with friends or on vacations and things like that I leave the AB stuff at home. I would like to indulge on some of the vacations that we go on but I never do. I try to make it convenient for her so that she doesn't ever have to do it after a long hard day. She does say that it is tiresome, but I don't know if she really truly believes that or if she is just saying that as a way to be nice about the fact that she hates doing it. She has said that she doesn't like it.

    I hope I have explained some of the grey areas of how our relationship goes, and I hope that you guys do understand that I feel like I am not letting this just absolutely consume the entirety of the relationship. I do want to have this in my life though because it makes me happy and fulfills me to some degree. I have went long stretches in my life without being able to explore this side of myself and I feel that I am a much happier being able to do so and knowing that, I want someone, whoever I'm with to be ok with that. I feel like in every relationship no one is going to perfect and that being said I know that having the AB condition puts me on the outside edges of imperfection, but I still feel like this is something that should be workable. I'm by no means an extreme AB for example I don't wear or have any desire to wear in public or be open about it in any way. This is a facet of my life that I have kept a secret from everyone except my significant others. I also do not go number two so I am relatively clean as far as that aspect goes. I stick to my assigned gender role too. I'm sorry to go into all the detail and I hope I'm not being offensive, but I do feel it is worth mentioning.

  6. #6

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    What a pleasant and thoughtful response!

    A couple things do stand out to me:


    Quote Originally Posted by cbrracer View Post
    I try to make it convenient for her so that she doesn't ever have to do it after a long hard day. She does say that it is tiresome, but I don't know if she really truly believes that or if she is just saying that as a way to be nice about the fact that she hates doing it. She has said that she doesn't like it.

    ... she would cater to my AB side at night and diaper me, change me, read stories to me, give me bottles the whole nine yards. It was great and I started feeling like I had maybe found "the one".
    These are a lot of different activities. She may object particularly to some of them, and not mind/enjoy others. If you can clarify (for yourself & for her) what's most important to you, and if you can get her talking about what she does/doesn't like and what she is/isn't willing to do over the long term (i.e. "the whole nine yards every night forever" is apparently not an option), maybe there's a compromise you can both be happy with.

    And then also:


    It is kind of a touchy subject for me to discuss so I often times avoid talking to her about how I feel and that's largely due to the fact that by now we have had the conversation about 3 or 4 times and nothing ever changes. I feel like I should just shut up about it now.
    Again, you really need to find a way to open a dialog about this. What you're saying is "we talk about it and nothing happens," but what I'm hearing between the lines is "I try to prompt her to meet my needs, but she doesn't and then I feel resentful and ashamed."

    I'm getting the feeling that removing the pressure from her might help you clear things up. Like "Hey, I feel like we went about this the wrong way, we went too deep too fast, I want to back up. Let's hold off on the baby stuff for now. I don't want you to feel obligated to do stuff you don't want to do, and I want us to be able to talk about this without any pressure on each other." You need to commit to that, too, not just say the words. She's not doing it anyway -- stop expecting her to for now. Have baby time by yourself. Maybe just having some time to cool off and figure out what you want -- both of you -- would be a positive way forward.

    Anyway...

    It sounds like you distinctly need someone to meet your ABDL needs and to engage it with you. Figure out what that means. Spend some time writing or talking to yourself about it, make sense of it for yourself before trying to bring others (her) into the equation. What does it mean to "be with someone who I feel will understand me and who I can fully enjoy this side of myself with"? What does it look like on a day-to-day basis?

    Also, you seem to portray a good idea of what you want and need and feel, but her whole side is pretty blank. Have you spent time trying to get her to open up about her real feelings about this? Have you tried to create a relaxed situation where she can feel comfortable expressing what she really thinks? Nothing's going to shift until that happens. Seems like she was going through the motions at least, before, but I don't get the sense that she ever actually communicated much about it. She needs to. It would be a hundred times better for your relationship for her to be willing to openly discuss it, than for her to silently diaper you every night.

    I hope I don't sound too blunt. I'm not trying to be rude in any way, promise! I've just been thinking about this a lot lately, because I'm facing a similar thing with my husband. I bring it up now and then to test the waters, he doesn't respond or acts noncommittal, I withdraw... He's afraid to say anything against it because he doesn't want to cause a conflict, but I don't care if there's conflict, I just want him to TALK to me, lol.

    Anyway, just some thoughts.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by cbrracer View Post
    First I just want to say thank you so much everyone for your very thought out and detailed responses. It helps a lot to hear everyones opinions on how I could be handling this wrong.

    I do feel like there is a certain level of codependency that tries to exist in our relationship. However, at the same time we both lead fairly independent lives neither one of us has shunned our friends in lieu of this relationship as I know can happen when some people get involved with one another. We still go out sometimes together and sometimes separately with our friends. An, example of something I'm not real big on but am supportive of her doing, is hanging out with her guy friends. My answer to this is, I will trust anyone until they give me a reason not too. Most of my guy friends all have girls that have some type of guy friend and nobody I know really loves that fact. The point to all that is, we still do things separate from one another and don't mind being away from one another. I don't feel like there is anything "clingy" about our relationship. I admit I do need to do some reading on the codependency that FaennaJo mentioned.

    I would agree that the indulging every night was going over the top. I guess I got all excited that she wanted to explore this side of me and allow me to enjoy the fetish. We did talk about this after the initial every night exploits started to change, and we agreed to not engage in it every night but maybe like once or twice a week. Obviously not every week either. I do try to enjoy a variety of other things in my life and this isn't the only thing I derive enjoyment from. We go on weekend vacations together and typically when we go out drinking with friends or on vacations and things like that I leave the AB stuff at home. I would like to indulge on some of the vacations that we go on but I never do. I try to make it convenient for her so that she doesn't ever have to do it after a long hard day. She does say that it is tiresome, but I don't know if she really truly believes that or if she is just saying that as a way to be nice about the fact that she hates doing it. She has said that she doesn't like it.

    I hope I have explained some of the grey areas of how our relationship goes, and I hope that you guys do understand that I feel like I am not letting this just absolutely consume the entirety of the relationship. I do want to have this in my life though because it makes me happy and fulfills me to some degree. I have went long stretches in my life without being able to explore this side of myself and I feel that I am a much happier being able to do so and knowing that, I want someone, whoever I'm with to be ok with that. I feel like in every relationship no one is going to perfect and that being said I know that having the AB condition puts me on the outside edges of imperfection, but I still feel like this is something that should be workable. I'm by no means an extreme AB for example I don't wear or have any desire to wear in public or be open about it in any way. This is a facet of my life that I have kept a secret from everyone except my significant others. I also do not go number two so I am relatively clean as far as that aspect goes. I stick to my assigned gender role too. I'm sorry to go into all the detail and I hope I'm not being offensive, but I do feel it is worth mentioning.

    cbrracer,

    Thank you for your honest & open reply... I appreciate a good dialog

    Now if you don't mind I'd like to take something out from what you said and go into some detail:


    She does say that it is tiresome, but I don't know if she really truly believes that or if she is just saying that as a way to be nice about the fact that she hates doing it. She has said that she doesn't like it.
    To be honest, I think that part says it all - to some extend.
    She obviously likes you, I guess she's also trying to avoid to hurt you thus (which is good).
    But I guess that she isn't cool with that facet of yours - she is, from what I read, though ACCEPTING of that facet of yours, and that is quite good. Then again I think she is not (yet) really ready or willing to INDULGE WITH YOU.
    Accepting you for who you are, is a good & great thing and very important in a relationship... Now also see where you went in the beginning (going actually a good bit over the top at first by doing it every night) - and I think it's good that you know how to be moderate about it in general.

    What I see is that you guys have some good corner stones for a solid foundation for a relationship:
    - Mutual acceptance
    - Being open minded (after all she went along at first, which is more than many will ever get).
    - Individual lives (this is in my book VERY important... in a good relationship, imho, there always should be enough room for each one's individual activities & needs... never it should get to a point where anything is co-dependent on the other partner totally...)

    What you have and should not disregard easily is someone who knows one of your deepest secrets, so far has been trustworthy with it and actually doesn't run away because of it either.
    Also as said, she was initially willing to explore that side, but probably figured out it isn't for her... and yes I do believe that it is "tiresome" to her (If I try to put myself in her position, I'd probably feel the same way)...
    If she isn't into the "mommy" part - than she gets nothing out of the scenario herself... she will feel like "giving" a lot for nothing in return, and if she actually doesn't like it at all it will be a tremendous "burden" after a while.

    With that in mind I'd say, try to "lay low" with the AB stuff for some time, try not to make a big deal out of it, and let her know, that YOU are VERY able to be "normal" (whatever that is to you & her)....
    And I guess when a bit of time has passed and she sees that it's not boiling down to you only desiring her to play the mommy role and actually the AB thing is just something that's occasionally there, then I guess the situation will change again.
    I don't think she'll ever be "into" it or have the desire to indulge - but I guess at times she will be willing to do it for you.
    But if you push the issue now and come over as "demanding" or "desiring" this from her, than it will just push her further away .

    I also think that she's probably a bit "scared" as to what she's going to get from you in the years to come.
    If you can put those fears at ease, well a lot of doors can open.

    In the end it also comes down to mutual trust, getting to know each other... finding what desires, kinks, ideas, etc. you maybe have in common, to what extend both of you are willing to venture onto new land, maybe step on thin ice at times and of utmost importance: what the "no-Go's" are.
    It takes TIME... and it's basically impossible to get to know each other in such a short time as you guys have been dating so far.
    Patience and a lot of talking and exploring will over time get you there.
    Keep in mind, everyone has limitations to what they're comfortable with and what not. Sometimes something that to you seems like "nothing" is utterly extreme to the other person... It's important to establish those boundaries and know where yours and hers are...

    For example: as mentioned, my Girl and myself are kinky folks and we're a good bit into BDSM... but for all my love to this part, (we both "switch" between top/bottom roles), I am NOT into humiliation (especially in doing it to her) - I simply can't...
    Same goes for stuff that would cause any injury or even puts her at any real risk... she sometimes would want to venture further - but that's where my comfort zone clearly has a hard-limit attached to it.
    But we both had to find out what would work, what is enjoyable to the both of us and what isn't (individually).


    Now about a girl & guy-friends. Oh my... trust me I don't care.
    I trust my SO 900% - I mean we both have friends outside of the relationship and aside from the "common" friends... some of mine are man, some women and it's the same with her.
    Some I like, some I don't... but I think it doesn't matter a tiny little bit - as long as we can trust into each other everything is good.
    And it's important to be able to talk about it... I remember years ago one of her guy-friends got dumped by his back-then girlfriend... and he started to get a bit "creepy" in my book in regards to my gf.
    At what point I told her about my concerns - and she said she would tell me if he would try to hit on her.
    Which he did at one point and she basically told him to back off...
    I had a lil' chat with the bloke too... made myself clear that this was stepping far over any limits and I'm not going to sit idly by whilst he transgresses ...
    But in 12 years I've been with my girl, that has been the only "problem" case - and mind you, not between me and my girl - just between an idiot and us (never was my relationship in "danger")

  8. #8

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    I guess really my problem is that we have talked about it extensively a few times and have came to somewhat of an agreement on various issues. Not just the AB stuff but other things as well that one or the other has deemed detrimental to our relationship. I feel like I've made significant efforts to change some of my flaws. I just don't feel like the same has been done for me. We haven't played in probably a month and a half or so, and like I said I have no problem with moderation but to totally stop even after I have told her how I feel kind of feels like I'm really getting the short end of the stick. I told her also that while we are young and don't have kids running around that exploring this side is important to me. Once I have kids I feel like this will have to end for me. I don't ever want to scar my kids with something like this or have this lifestyle influence them in any way. Not that I think we are bad people or anything like that but I really just want my kids to have the best chance at being normal so I want to provide a stable and normal environment for them when that day gets here. I feel like sometimes, and this may sound selfish, that I am losing time to explore and really have fun with this curse I have been given. Its something that I honestly wish I could get over, but after what I've read on here and through my own attempts I believe it will be impossible to ever get rid of. I know I'll have these feelings probably for the rest of my life, and I want to explore them while I can with out it affecting too many other people.

    Again I would like to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart it is so nice of all of you to help. I hope that I get a chance to return the favor to someone else that has these issues too someday. Just know that your help is more appreciated than you realize.

  9. #9

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    I can only share what happened to me. I was engaged to a woman and we were living together. We had already set a date for our wedding. I'm a life long bed wetter and have worn diapers to protect the bedding. She knew all about this. Now a month before our wedding I come home from work to find a note saying that she couldn't handle being married to some one who would always be wearing diapers.. To tell the truth I think this was a one sided relationship, I was in love with her but I don't think she ever truly loved me. I don't think any one could to that to some one they loved

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by kennyrallen View Post
    I can only share what happened to me. I was engaged to a woman and we were living together. We had already set a date for our wedding. I'm a life long bed wetter and have worn diapers to protect the bedding. She knew all about this. Now a month before our wedding I come home from work to find a note saying that she couldn't handle being married to some one who would always be wearing diapers.. To tell the truth I think this was a one sided relationship, I was in love with her but I don't think she ever truly loved me. I don't think any one could to that to some one they loved
    I am very sorry to hear about that. : ( Nevertheless, I wish you the best in your search for love. It just seems like a lot of us on here run into similar problems when trying to find acceptance.

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