I'm Faenna (or Jo if you like). I'm very happy to be here!
I'm 25 and I'm very much still exploring who I am.
See, I spent most of my life living up to others' expectations and needs, and it made me the most miserable wreck. So after a lot of inner work & healing, I decided to turn it around. Now I live for myself! To be happy! And it is INCREDIBLY freeing and wonderful.
Part of getting from there to here has been meeting & embracing the little side of me. At first, this was very differentiated, it was like there were 2 people living in my head -- she had her own name! -- but over time "we" turned into "me" and I am not nearly so conflicted about these feelings anymore.
The only real conflict now is deciding whether to boldly display who I am, everywhere I go, or to protectively keep it to myself. (My S/O is kind of pretty uncomfortable with it. We're working through it, but it means that "with him" isn't the place to experiment.)
~Why I'm here~
So, I see this place as somewhere I can stretch out and play and learn. And continue the hunt for the perfect paci!
The other thing is that this community is an exceptionally sweet and welcoming place. It is amazingly rare, on or off the internet. I find myself coming back to read even when I'm not in a particularly relevant mood!
I am an (integrated) little. I relate more to the "Daddy/little girl" dynamic than anything else -- except I don't need a daddy to be my little self. I'm not much of a diaper lover really. Sometimes I wear my training pants, because they feel comfy and reassuring and little-embracing, and I often want to wear them to bed (though I don't), but so far it's not really a vital part of anything.
Mostly, I just want to hang out here 'cause it makes me feel good!
I'm a REALLY WORDY person and very sensitive to language. (That's why I can't bring myself to say I'm an "Adult Baby." Booo! Not cute! How about child-soul? How about sweet glow-eyed youngling? How about giggly cupcake kid?!... Anything but that! ...anyway...)
I'm also a writer, of things that lately occupy the space in between story and poetry. Writing is a seriously powerful, meaningful thing for me, an art. Story is a language. When I was 6 I learned to read (spontaneously, I am told), and pretty much from then on you couldn't find me without a book in my hand. I can remember "drawing" books, when I was still learning to write the alphabet -- picture books of crayon and construction paper.
My very, VERY favoritest writer is Ursula Le Guin. I swear, my heart is a purring cat when I open one of her books. Another that I really enjoy is Laini Taylor -- the experience of reading her books is close to how it feels when I'm writing my own stories. (Getting back into that, ever so gently, is another part of retrieving the rejected, fragile parts of me.)
I also reeeealllly like people. I grew up badly isolated, with a hefty load of social anxiety for good measure, but now that I'm calmer and happier I've realized there is BASICALLY NOTHING as awesome as making new friends. So I pretty much try to do that everywhere I go!
Because of having to claw my way out of my own childhood pain and crazy, and also because of my previous striving to make people happy, I have a deep interest in psychology & personality. Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, etc. I thought for a long time that I'd INEVITABLY end up being a psychologist or counselor, but I think I've changed my mind. I don't know WHERE I'll wind up! (and that's ok!)
I am also ... well... a really kind of magical person. I love the feeling that there is some mysterious, reassuring thread linking everything in the world. I also connect this idea to that of souls! -- not in a religious sense, but just this: Everyone that exists has a part of them that is sacred, that is holy. And this spirit of humanness, this soul, is what lets us recognize, respond & connect to others!
It's pretty much the most exciting and fulfilling thing to me (◡‿◡✿) I can feel the souls-or-whatever in everyone I get to know, so acknowledging the spiritual side is part of what I do. (It is also, not coincidentally, why I love people so much!)
Other than these main things, I am the proud momma of 2 dogs, a pretty good housekeeper, recovering from codependency & depression, an Xbox + movie + music lover (oh Fable! Cloud Atlas! Mumford & Sons!), learning to sew & to bake THE PERFECT COOKIE, and quite interested in how bodies work & herbal medicine! And when it's not 100 degrees outside I LOVE to bike and run. (And knit! You would be surprised how hard it is to keep a scarf in your lap during a TX summer. )
I'm so glad to be here and meet all you lovely people!
How do you do? (ల◠‿‿◠ల)