Why do AB caregivers enjoy their role? What are the draws? There are so many reasons why people enjoy being little. But I haven't seen the other side discussed much.
Well, I love being a caregiver just as much as being cared for, or perhaps even more so at this point in my life. But why? Why have such a strong desire to give care to specifically an adult child or adult baby? I've separated my sexual side from my AB/Carer side. So if it's not a sexual thing, that could even further baffle people. What exactly am I getting out of this?
I've thought about this a while. I think I'm coming up with some answers, and perhaps some of you can clue me in on other reasons you've personally come up with.
They appreciate it. They REALLY appreciate it.
It's no secret that one big aspect involves the fact that I started out as an AB / Little. Otherwise, I don't think I would have been able to understand the true needs and feelings of ABs and other Littles. And if there's one thing adult children rarely get, it's having that normally secret side of them loved and tended to.
So this may fall under the category of there being no true altruism. I absolutely am tickled pink over the fact that little ones have such a deep appreciation for what is going on while you care for them. When you care for an AB, you're giving them something they may have longed for for a decade or more. It can really melt your heart to see just how powerful it is for your little one, emotionally speaking.
You can make really big mistakes, and no one dies.
Once, when I was a teenager babysitting an actual baby, I left him too close to the side of the bed during a change. I had to run and get the phone. The baby rolled, fell right off, and cracked his head badly into the tile floor. No, he didn't die. But he could have. That scares me a lot, even to this day.
But with an adult little, that kind of thing would never happen. Their adult side may be distant at times, but it's there. They're not going to roll off a changing table. If I forget a bottle and they're thirsty, they'll tell me, even if it's in a squeaky childlike voice or by way of a finger point. If I am about to give them something they're allergic to, they'll stop me. It's easier. It's less scary. I'm about 99% less likely to spend all night at the ER if I make a mistake with an adult little.
You're off the hook if you're tired or sick.
Anyone who has actual children can tell you there's no off-button. You can't power off your toddler just because you've got a migraine. So now you've got a migraine, and an increasingly upset toddler that can tell you're not being very fun anymore.
Adult children do have an off-button. If I'm having a really bad day, or I'm sick, or I'm just not feeling it, it's okay. They know when to stop. Even if this were to happen mid-roleplay, they would stop. They would switch off. They would turn back into their adult self. Hopefully, they'd even help me out and get me some Tylenol.
You can get plenty of safe, non-sexual affection, with no loopholes.
This might not mean much to male readers, or maybe even female readers, or maybe anyone but me. But it really means quite a lot to me to get affection without the tension and the confusion.
In relationships, or even just on dates, it's a little hard to tell exactly what a hug means. It's hard to tell what a slow dance means. It's hard to tell what a kiss on the cheek is all about. Are they just dropping coins into you so that you'll feel obligated to have sex with them later that night? Are they just one move away from starting sexual activity, right then? Sometimes, it makes me feel like every hug and cuddle is more like a means to an end, rather than a display of pure affection.
With a (non-sexual) little, it's not. Cuddles are cuddles and hugs are hugs. Kisses to the forehead won't end up on your lips. For someone who has dealt with a lot of rejection issues, and a few instances of sexual assault, giving and receiving pure affection in a safe way means the world to me.
It's fantastically idealistic.
Real life children can be terrible. Let's all face it. They can be cruel. They can bring their own parents to tears with words alone. They can be very manipulative. Source.
Well, usually, not littles. They are roleplaying a fantasy. So, in turn, you are roleplaying a fantasy. They get the idealistic nurturer and you get the idealistic child. Innocent and pure, loving, sweet, and nearly unbearably adorable. Or maybe that's just mine. Either way, it's usually something you agree on, or else you wouldn't be big/little partners in the first place. The two of you get to relax in a fantasy world of your mutual creation, and no silly things such as realism will be too much of a hassle.
Anyone else have ideas of your own? Thoughts on what I've said? I'd love to hear from little ones and carers alike.