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Thread: telling people in real life

  1. #1

    Default telling people in real life


    I am generally secretive as an abdl, I don't tell anyone. However, I have heard people say they have told their families/ friends, even one person who said it was known at his office.
    I was wondering what people thought of that. Has anyone had success coming out? If so, how? What sort of effect does it have on a career (I honestly imagine it would be devastating)

  2. #2


    I told two close friends i met on league of legends and they both went "ehh" to it and didn't care much. It didn't phase them much at all. Really just depends on the person, which is why I test the waters and got good at dropping hints to see if they may be ok with it or not.

    EDIT: I should note I am far from secretive on my fetishes/lifestyles. If someone wanted to, they could easily google.

  3. #3


    I too am pretty secretive about my DLism. i consider it to be my deepest/darkest secret and also the last thing that anyone would learn about me but, i have told several people about myself. i dont know what you'd call success but only once have i had it go awry. i was 13 or 14 and i told and showed a friend who is a year younger than me, he later went on to mention it to another friend which made me uncomfortable. after some denial eventually the 2nd friend forgot the whole thing and the subject has never arisen again. we are all still great friends and always have been. the first friend hasnt tried to tell anybody else since.
    My whole DL experience started at a young age with a friend and im sure he still remembers. i told another friend in high school and he had even offered to buy diapers for me because i was too embarrassed to do it myself. recently another friend shared a story with me about, that he had and how he developed his BDSM fetish which i chose to respond by telling him about my diaper fetish, he said it was cool understandable and that he'd heard about Diaper fetish and similar things before and we have become much closer because of this. Ive shared this fetish with most of my GF's and both my BF's. They never minded and both BF's have even tried it out, neither made a habit out of it but i never received any negativity over it.
    I think my parents know(because my stepmom has found them in my room when i was a teen) but we've never said a word about it. i dont know if they may have mentioned it to anyone else in my family but if they havent then nobody else knows except for my sister who may remember an incident from when i was a kid.
    Define success, for me success is being able to get it off my chest and also to have another person that i trust knowing and am able to talk to about it. and sometimes u never know u may get some other sort of benefit from being open like learning something about the other person or having someone else be willing to help you if needed. I dont really have any sort of career such as an office type job, or a job with major promotion opportunities, but i dont think it would have any lasting or long term ramifications if it got out. Especially in a mature professional environment, people know that other people are different and that they like different sometimes odd things. In my opinion the more people that know the better. i feel much lighter inside everytime i tell someone and i gain more confidence both in myself and my desire to wear diapers more often. Im not saying that you should tell everyone, but if you've known someone a while and you have a good friendship with them then you shouldn't have anything to fear about sharing with them. it will feel good to get it off your chest and likely your friendship will become much stronger, as well as giving you freedom to speak to and even wear around them.

  4. #4


    I have told my parents, which ended up being a bad choice, but i also told all but one of my best friends, and my sister and brother in law, and they all are way supportive. Never had any impact on my career, since nobody at my work has gotten a bit of information about this. I make sure to only tell people that i can trust not to go and start spreading information about me.

  5. #5


    I have told my BF and tbh was best thing i did.

    Only happened a week ago

    It was kinda cute really i hinted he was acting babyish lately and if he kept it up id treat him like one.

    Well i surprised him with a bag containing a onsie from asda some drynights and a paci.

    Said it was just a joke (to test reaction) but he could see i meant it so we both wore and i told him been wanting to do this for ages lol

    He is totally accepting and i now have a playmate :3

    Never told parents. Dont plan on telling at work either

  6. #6


    ok, so people seem to have accepted it. I don't think I'll be trying it any time soon though!

  7. #7


    I've only told at least one person of my full little side, I didn't know how to explain, so I let her fill in the blanks and she got the general idea, we've only done anything remotely Little related once, where she kinda baby-sat me, but that's about it.

    Other times, where some people have seen my diapers I lied and said it was because I wet the bed, and that usually satisfied them. They have already seen the pacifiers I own because I dressed up as a baby for Halloween and ever since then displayed them on my desk in my room. (No one is the wiser)

  8. #8


    There are many different reasons why people want to tell others. It would be good practice to write out some of those things and consider them if you are. If you are not at all serious and have little need, then I wouldn't entertain it at this moment in time.

    I've noticed most on this site that do have very extensive desires, AB/DL lifestyle practices, or issues grounded in infantile coping mechanisms have a higher need to tell others. The latter case is especially essential.

    Ultimately it's your decision, but do indeed think your reasons through.

    If you have a need to be in the company of peers for that sense of belonging, it's not to hard to possibly find others in your area. It does require an amount of tact and certain social skills in finding that.

    Though we are not a meetup site (and personal ads are forbidden) you might get lucky.
    Last edited by Geno; 07-Aug-2013 at 17:19.

  9. #9


    I'm a big proponent of honesty, but, do it for the right reasons with someone you trust. While most people would be indifferent or accepting, there are some who may be puzzled to downright hostile. And the thing is, you never really know. I like Geno's suggestions. I am all for sharing with others but be judicious and don't expect the world of people.

  10. #10


    There's been a lot of talk on here, in other related threads, about telling others. On those threads I have said that I don't need to tell anyone. I still feel that way. If anyone were to find out, I would have to explain, which would be uncomfortable for all involved. I think those that are not family but are close to me, who by the way don't know, would probably just shrug it off. Family would probably express concern, at first, because of my past history with depression, but I think they would soon learn, that it is harmless.

    In fairness, I should say my mother, father and sister all know about my plushie. It's hard to keep that one secret, since I sleep with it at night, but I've just told them it's a way of coping with stress. No mention of infantilism, diapers, bottles, pacifiers, etc.

    In regards to telling people at work, I try to live by the rule of keeping my work life and home life separate. At my age, I don't think it would have any effect on my career but being I'm 1.5 years away from being qualified for retirement, I won't take any chances. Officially, my work has a policy against harrasment and I think that it would be possible to come out at work, if I really wanted to. But I also think, why give them any reason to try to get rid of me.

    Like others have said, you really need to think about this and consider the consequences, to both your home life and work life. If you are planning a political career or high profile job, like a CEO, would your infantism have an effect on them?

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