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Thread: Suicidal & stuck...like seriously the system is flawed

  1. #1

    Exclamation Suicidal & stuck...like seriously the system is flawed

    It's been a rough few weeks.

    1. Ex finally stopped talking to me.
    2. i haven't slept in about 12 days
    3. been having blackouts where ill lose days at a time
    4. when i do sleep, im having horrific night terrors

    ok so i was told when i moved back in with my aunt, she didnt want any drama and she didnt want to feed into my mental issues.

    so i went to see my therapist to establish a safety plan and got no where.

    she suggested my aunt dole out my meds
    get rid of all alcohol, narcotics and things like tylynol.
    and to have access to the ER if necessary

    my aunt responded by saying, you never used to have this problem, practice self control, i dont want the ambulances at my house and im not home enough to monitor your meds and if you need the ER, walk there with your powerchair

    problem is i cant leave my chair just anywhere and call EMTs for a pickup, id either need to leave from my house or walk there because ambulances cant transport power wheelchairs, and i walk in to the ER, the response i get from nurses is "You walked here just fine, if you werent mentally stable you wouldve done something on the way here"

    Advice guys, im mentally sound now but id like to have a future gameplan because honestly this is scaring me.

  2. #2

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    if you are feeling suicidal, call 911 and tell the person who answers, what you are feeling. by law they must respond....
    it doesn't matter whether or not your aunt wants ambulances in front of her house or not, they will come. to try and prevent you from getting medical care or help amounts to abuse of the disabled.

    bellow i have listed two web addresses for your state (New Hampshire) that have phone numbers that you can call for help. look at them and find some help for your self, Please.....
    New Hampshire Suicide & Crisis Hotlines - When You Feel You Can't Go On... Call a Suicide Hotline. / SuicideHotlines.com - Direction for immediate crisis intervention for the gravely suicidal & treatment for major clinical suicidal depression.

    New Hampshire Suicide Hotlines - Suicide.org! New Hampshire Suicide Hotlines, New Hampshire Suicide Hotlines, New Hampshire Suicide Hotlines, New Hampshire Suicide Hotlines!

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92 View Post
    It's been a rough few weeks.

    1. Ex finally stopped talking to me.
    2. i haven't slept in about 12 days
    3. been having blackouts where ill lose days at a time
    4. when i do sleep, im having horrific night terrors

    ok so i was told when i moved back in with my aunt, she didnt want any drama and she didnt want to feed into my mental issues.

    so i went to see my therapist to establish a safety plan and got no where.

    she suggested my aunt dole out my meds
    get rid of all alcohol, narcotics and things like tylynol.
    and to have access to the ER if necessary

    my aunt responded by saying, you never used to have this problem, practice self control, i dont want the ambulances at my house and im not home enough to monitor your meds and if you need the ER, walk there with your powerchair

    problem is i cant leave my chair just anywhere and call EMTs for a pickup, id either need to leave from my house or walk there because ambulances cant transport power wheelchairs, and i walk in to the ER, the response i get from nurses is "You walked here just fine, if you werent mentally stable you wouldve done something on the way here"

    Advice guys, im mentally sound now but id like to have a future gameplan because honestly this is scaring me.
    Hello

    First take a deep breath, hold it to the count of three, then let it out. This is a simple coping mechanism my therapist taught me to do when I am getting up title.

    Now I am in no way a medical professional, but I am on disability because of depression, so I can relate to your request for suggestions. So all I can do is be a friend and offer some advice.

    How long has it been since you talked to your therapist?

    Do you have an appointment coming up?

    If all of this has happened since you last saw your therapist then you need to contact her as soon as possible. If this was going on and it is still happening then you also need to let her know as soon as possible.

    As for what your aunt has said, this hits me like the comment of "just pull your self up by your boot straps." It is not helpful so lets ignore that for now.

    The ER is one option, but they will do triage and if you did come in under your own power then they will put you on the bottom of the list until you are having a problem, then they will help you.

    Another option is the county mental health hot line. It should be in the phone book or you may even be able to look it up on line. Unfortunately I am not sure what ques to use, but would suggest your "county name" and "mental health hotline". I have called my county hotline and they where a big help. Remember they are going to ask some blunt questions, but they are not "judging you" they just need to get an idea of your situation fast so they can figure out how to best help you.

    So next lets look at your meds.

    Sounds sort of obvious that your aunt is not going to help. So may I suggest this; do you have a pill bar?

    If so make a point of filling it Sunday with all of your meds and placing it on a note pad.
    Write down the time you take your meds, so you have a record to show the Doctors.

    I personally have three of them and one is two sided so I have my morning, my two daytime doses and my bedtime pill bars.

    If you do not have a pill bar then use a clean egg carton, and follow the steps i listed above.

    The rest of it is stuff that you need to talk to you therapist about.

    My last major crisis was all because of my meds and I just needed an adjustment. But they could not do anything until I told them there was a problem and I just thought it would past. However it did not pass and I waited to long.

    So do not hesitate to call the therapists office and at least leave a message, but more importantly make sure you are being seen an a regular basis.

    You can always remind your aunt that its trips to the therapist or ambulances in the front yard, it would then be her choice.

    I hope this is of help.
    Let us know how things are going.
    After all we are a support group and this is what it is all about.

  4. #4

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    goodnightmoon92,

    I'm glad to hear that you are okay now... I'm also in agreement with you getting a plan!

    I would say call the numbers that littlelodgewrecker listed...even now, and tell them that you wish to make a suicide prevention & intervention plan because not knowing what to do adds to your anxiety and depression!

    You may find templates and tools to help plan coping, and action strategies such as this template.



    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92 View Post
    It's been a rough few weeks.

    1. Ex finally stopped talking to me.
    2. i haven't slept in about 12 days
    3. been having blackouts where ill lose days at a time
    4. when i do sleep, im having horrific night terrors
    The sleep deprivation alone, may cause impairment in judgment, reduce needed energy, and restoration, and can contribute to things like psychosis...just to name a few things!



    Quote Originally Posted by http://en.wikipedia.org
    Great sleep deprivation mimics psychosis: distorted perceptions can lead to inappropriate emotional and behavioral responses.[39]
    I'd say as part of your prevention plan give yourself greater opportunities by doing what it takes to get proper nutrition/hydration, restorative rest/sleep, and various mental and physical activities such as some exercise, entertainment, and learning opportunities.



    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92
    ok so i was told when i moved back in with my aunt, she didnt want any drama and she didnt want to feed into my mental issues.
    Acknowledging you doesn't seem like it would feed into your mental issues.



    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92
    so i went to see my therapist to establish a safety plan and got no where.
    Did you say as much to your therapist?



    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92
    she suggested my aunt dole out my meds
    get rid of all alcohol, narcotics and things like tylynol.
    and to have access to the ER if necessary
    It seems that you may have indicated to your therapist an inclination to use any combination of these things as a weapon to do self-harm... If that's the case this could be needed. Will your Aunt help in this way? I just read that she is unavailable to help with your meds... Anyone else available to help?

    You may need to talk with your therapist about ways to prevent getting to the state of mind, that brings on the strong temptations to do harm.



    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92
    my aunt responded by saying, you never used to have this problem, practice self control, i dont want the ambulances at my house and im not home enough to monitor your meds and if you need the ER, walk there with your powerchair
    If you become in crisis...ignore everything quoted above! Get the help you need, when you need it, in whatever way works best for you! If your Aunt doesn't like drama, she might consider what other official vehicles could be at her house ...not to be dramatic...



    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92
    problem is i cant leave my chair just anywhere and call EMTs for a pickup, id either need to leave from my house or walk there because ambulances cant transport power wheelchairs, and i walk in to the ER, the response i get from nurses is "You walked here just fine, if you werent mentally stable you wouldve done something on the way here"

    "..."..."
    Even if a nurse or someone was to say such a thing {unfortunately it's not entirely out of the question}...ignore that too as much as you can... and please make a written report/complaint to send to the hospital administration...while most people probably don't mean to be insensitive...they're human too, and need reminders to not take out their frustrations with the system...on you.


    If you are not able or ready to advocate for yourself, get someone to advocate for you while you learn how to...most of the suicide prevention agencies have many resources to contact for help and advocacy.

    Best wishes, and sincere regards,
    -Marka

  5. #5

  6. #6

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    Have been down that road myself. In fact two failed attempts . Life does toss us some real hard balls at times and we can feel overloaded. It took me three years with a therapist to work things out. Bi-polar with clinical depression add to that Epilepsy. I was a total mess.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by kennyrallen View Post
    Have been down that road myself. In fact two failed attempts . Life does toss us some real hard balls at times and we can feel overloaded. It took me three years with a therapist to work things out. Bi-polar with clinical depression add to that Epilepsy. I was a total mess.
    Not to one up you, but my gf jst in past 8 months has attemped 7 times with 30 ER visits and 3 IEAs, most recent caused us to break up

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92 View Post
    Not to one up you, but my gf jst in past 8 months has attemped 7 times with 30 ER visits and 3 IEAs, most recent caused us to break up
    I hope she is getting the help she needs. After my second attempt they had in a mental ward for 30 days. I felt my life was really screwed up at that point ans just wanted out. Taking ones life is never the answer, if you succeed you only hurt the people you left behind.

  9. #9

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    Goodnightmoon, did your therapist give you their phone number that you can call? I had one from mine, and if I thought I was going to harm myself, I was to call him any time, day or night. Normally, they try to react immediately. It sounds to me that you should be in close touch, especially where medication is involved.

    I keep my pills in two weekly pill boxes. Every Saturday night, me and my wife do our pills. That way, I only have to remember to take them. I leave my cup sitting out on the counter at night to remind myself to take my morning pills. Usually that's a colorful childish sippy cup. Whatever works and that works for me, and makes me a little happier.

    We all have to find ways to cope and make life tolerable. I keep myself busy by working two jobs, biking and writing. I am my wife's dialysis partner as she does home dialysis. Life will always be tough and throw things at us. Our job is to find ways to cope that work for us. I wish you well in all of this, and I hope your aunt lightens up. It sounds like you need a little love and caring. Hugs.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Goodnightmoon, did your therapist give you their phone number that you can call? I had one from mine, and if I thought I was going to harm myself, I was to call him any time, day or night. Normally, they try to react immediately. It sounds to me that you should be in close touch, especially where medication is involved.

    I keep my pills in two weekly pill boxes. Every Saturday night, me and my wife do our pills. That way, I only have to remember to take them. I leave my cup sitting out on the counter at night to remind myself to take my morning pills. Usually that's a colorful childish sippy cup. Whatever works and that works for me, and makes me a little happier.

    We all have to find ways to cope and make life tolerable. I keep myself busy by working two jobs, biking and writing. I am my wife's dialysis partner as she does home dialysis. Life will always be tough and throw things at us. Our job is to find ways to cope that work for us. I wish you well in all of this, and I hope your aunt lightens up. It sounds like you need a little love and caring. Hugs.
    reading all these posts brought tears to my eyes...

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