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Thread: Public Display of Affection. How far is too far?

  1. #1

    Default Public Display of Affection. How far is too far?

    Last week I was talking to a friend and his girlfriend and the girl asked me what my opinion on high school relationships. I said that even though I'm out of high school now I don't really care, but I believe kids and teenagers should suppress illogical desires such as dating and/or sex and focus on academics. I also said that I have no problem with it if the couples keep it to themselves and not rub it in by PDA. She goes "I disagree wholeheartedly, I believe any couple could do whatever they want in public." I am now assuming that she supports any type of PDA, which I do not.

    But anyways, we were at the youth group last night for a movie night (Pitch Perfect) and I had to move to a new seat 5 minutes in because the two kids were holding hands and occasionally pecking each other on the cheeks. I can't even sit next to my own friend because he decides to engage in such behavior. Then afterwards we went to the bowling alley (where a lot of nasty stuff goes on that I want to forget).

    On to the main point of the thread. I believe PDA is a means of inducing jealousy through excessive pride. By engaging in PDA a couple portrays they are happily in a relationship. Good for them. But the world doesn't need to know. (I apologize in advance, I am totally against any and all PDA. Which is why when I find a suitable human female mate, I will make it part of a deal not to engage in PDA at all.) But I just want to ask people on here. Hopefully I'm not the only one who has the same opinion in this matter. I apologize for being a jerk to those who have opposing viewpoints.

  2. #2
    Trollbear

    Default

    Well, me and my girlfriend had gotten PDA yelled at us when we just kissed each other on the Lips ( nothing major)
    It really depends on who is viewing it and doing it. We had no intention of anyone noticing. To me, saying PDA out loud or something to the couple would embarrass most people.
    Last edited by Trollbear; 04-Aug-2013 at 04:51.

  3. #3

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    I don't mind seeing hand holding, hugs, or kisses. When you start making out and it starts getting all sexual, that's when I'd rather you take it somewhere more private. PDA isn't about inducing jealously. It's just people having fun, and not caring who they disturb in the process. Ultimately, I haven't lost any sleep over it.

  4. #4

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    I've always been a big fan of PDA. The only time it bothers me is when it stops someone else from enjoying themselves. Like, when your friend brings their girlfriend along and they do nothing but makeout the entire time. I only dislike that because its boring/awkward for the other person involved. But I'd have no problem with the sort of hand-holding you saw that couple doing, or for most forms of PDA, so long as you aren't being a dick about it. Hell, I love seeing people show their affection for one another. I think something is wrong with our society when we get upset at people for being proud of loving each other. Excessive pride? Not to me. Handholding, kissing in public, and much more, is totally okay to me. Why shouldn't it be?

    BTW, you weren't a jerk to those with opposite viewpoints. I admit, I find it a little disturbing that you use the phrase "suitable human female mate", and I have to wonder how you could possibly consider sex and dating to be illogical. But none of that is being a jerk, or disrespectful in anyway. So no worries

  5. #5

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    Like the others are saying, I don't really have a problem with hand-holding, kissing, etc.It's simply a natural show of affection, and I doubt the couple is trying to make anyone jealous.

    Similarly, I flirt heavily with a guy from a non-ab/dl site and don't give a crap what the other members think about it.
    Last edited by KimbaWolfNagihiko; 04-Aug-2013 at 00:34. Reason: spelling error

  6. #6
    Astra

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by paciloverbaby3 View Post
    Last week I was talking to a friend and his girlfriend and the girl asked me what my opinion on high school relationships. I said that even though I'm out of high school now I don't really care, but I believe kids and teenagers should suppress illogical desires such as dating and/or sex and focus on academics. I also said that I have no problem with it if the couples keep it to themselves and not rub it in by PDA. She goes "I disagree wholeheartedly, I believe any couple could do whatever they want in public." I am now assuming that she supports any type of PDA, which I do not.

    But anyways, we were at the youth group last night for a movie night (Pitch Perfect) and I had to move to a new seat 5 minutes in because the two kids were holding hands and occasionally pecking each other on the cheeks. I can't even sit next to my own friend because he decides to engage in such behavior. Then afterwards we went to the bowling alley (where a lot of nasty stuff goes on that I want to forget).

    On to the main point of the thread. I believe PDA is a means of inducing jealousy through excessive pride. By engaging in PDA a couple portrays they are happily in a relationship. Good for them. But the world doesn't need to know. (I apologize in advance, I am totally against any and all PDA. Which is why when I find a suitable human female mate, I will make it part of a deal not to engage in PDA at all.) But I just want to ask people on here. Hopefully I'm not the only one who has the same opinion in this matter. I apologize for being a jerk to those who have opposing viewpoints.
    Some people do PDA because they're insecure and want to prove how happily in love they are, but for most people it's just a show of affection. It's cute and harmless.

    Your PDA-hate sounds like sour grapes. When you find a "suitable human female mate," you'll discover that love is spontaneous and that small displays of affection, in public or not, strengthen a couple's romantic bonds. And then you'll realize that PDA isn't so bad after all.

  7. #7

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    If holding hands and an occasional kiss on the cheek causes you to move seats, I think you've got something that bears working on. While I don't want to be treated to a full-on public sex show, I think displays of affection are natural and healthy in a relationship and they almost always give me warm fuzzies to see two people enjoying each other so much. It doesn't need to be your love to be beautiful and it doesn't have to be in a dark room with the doors locked.

  8. #8

    Default

    Occasional PDA is fine. HOWEVER, like public cell phone conversations, there's a point where the offending parties deserve to be wacked upside the head.

    Couples holding hands while meandering around the fair or the farmer's market = fine.

    Occasional kiss in public = borderline questionable. More questionable if you're in a group of friends talking at the time. Suggestions to "get a room" are crude but acceptable. OK if its in a dark movie theatre where people should be watching the movie and not you anyway. Unless its blatant, passionate, and noisy.

    exchanging tongue and rubbing up against each other in the cafeteria line = where's the damn lever to the trapdoor that drops them to the banth's lair in the subbasement? If, as usually happens, these are the two homeliest people on campus who happened to have found each other, make it plant men instead of banths so the end comes a little slower.

    This actually happened. 40 years later I still can't unsee it: I'm in an elevator in a college dorm, on the way to visit a friend. Door opens at my floor to reveal a pair of lesbians dryhumping on the lounge couch 10ft in front of me. These aren't the swimsuit model lesbians of your fantasies either. I quickly hit the button for another floor. I say death penalty. What say you?

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by paciloverbaby3 View Post
    Last week I was talking to a friend and his girlfriend and the girl asked me what my opinion on high school relationships. I said that even though I'm out of high school now I don't really care, but I believe kids and teenagers should suppress illogical desires such as dating and/or sex and focus on academics. I also said that I have no problem with it if the couples keep it to themselves and not rub it in by PDA. She goes "I disagree wholeheartedly, I believe any couple could do whatever they want in public." I am now assuming that she supports any type of PDA, which I do not.

    But anyways, we were at the youth group last night for a movie night (Pitch Perfect) and I had to move to a new seat 5 minutes in because the two kids were holding hands and occasionally pecking each other on the cheeks. I can't even sit next to my own friend because he decides to engage in such behavior. Then afterwards we went to the bowling alley (where a lot of nasty stuff goes on that I want to forget).

    On to the main point of the thread. I believe PDA is a means of inducing jealousy through excessive pride. By engaging in PDA a couple portrays they are happily in a relationship. Good for them. But the world doesn't need to know. (I apologize in advance, I am totally against any and all PDA. Which is why when I find a suitable human female mate, I will make it part of a deal not to engage in PDA at all.) But I just want to ask people on here. Hopefully I'm not the only one who has the same opinion in this matter. I apologize for being a jerk to those who have opposing viewpoints.
    Oh my...

    Get a life? I mean what is it that makes it so horrible for you if someone kisses in public or does some mild petting...?? What is it that you find so offensive that you have to move seats in a cinema?

    I draw the borderline somewhere with having sex in open public spaces - now that would be taking it a tad to far (but even that, I don't think it's the worst thing someone can see).

    But kissing? holding hands? some "petting"? I think couples can do what they want in this regard.

    I am in a relationship and have been for the past 12 or so years - We love each other "madly" to say so... even after 10+ years the affection is still amazing.
    Yes, we hold hands in public, kiss and sometimes french kiss like crazy if the mood strikes. and honestly if someone takes offense I think it's either because they're totally insecure about that stuff, immature or lonely. And it might sound harsh, but only 'cause someone else is lonely I certainly don't want to put the lid on these things in my own relationship.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    Occasional PDA is fine. HOWEVER, like public cell phone conversations, there's a point where the offending parties deserve to be wacked upside the head.

    Couples holding hands while meandering around the fair or the farmer's market = fine.

    Occasional kiss in public = borderline questionable. More questionable if you're in a group of friends talking at the time. Suggestions to "get a room" are crude but acceptable. OK if its in a dark movie theatre where people should be watching the movie and not you anyway. Unless its blatant, passionate, and noisy.

    exchanging tongue and rubbing up against each other in the cafeteria line = where's the damn lever to the trapdoor that drops them to the banth's lair in the subbasement? If, as usually happens, these are the two homeliest people on campus who happened to have found each other, make it plant men instead of banths so the end comes a little slower.

    This actually happened. 40 years later I still can't unsee it: I'm in an elevator in a college dorm, on the way to visit a friend. Door opens at my floor to reveal a pair of lesbians dryhumping on the lounge couch 10ft in front of me. These aren't the swimsuit model lesbians of your fantasies either. I quickly hit the button for another floor. I say death penalty. What say you?
    What exactly is wrong with you? Death penalty for some not-model-book lesbians for public kissing & stuff??? where do you live somewhere in the dark ages?
    Not able to forget that horrible shocker after 40 years?! shock of your life?
    Heck, I probably will never forget the first few dying children in a hospital outside of the "modern" world I've seen... or other stuff that has been basically permanently etched into my mind.
    But people doing PDA (what a term ).????


    Personally it puts a smile on my face almost every time I see couples kissing or holding hand - it shows that the world isn't just bleak and fucked up.. it shows that people love, care deeply for each other... and are not afraid to stand with their choice & partners... it's good.


    When I read comments such as yours I'm just glad I live in a free world, where luckily such opinion don't have much of any impact.

  10. #10

    Default

    if bodily fluids are involved (that includes saliva), it's too far.

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