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Thread: I need some Advice quick

  1. #1

    Default I need some Advice quick

    I have a bit of a problem you see I have a friend that's coming over to hang out
    I see him often and I've known him since elementary school, we're good friends so I was wondering should I or should I not tell him about my DL-ism if yes how would go about it. I just need some advice please

  2. #2

    Default

    Well, first of all it's niced to meet you My initial answer to your question is no, you shouldn't tell - it almost always is in these situations. But I think we need more detail.

    How close is this friend? You've been friends for a long time, but do you ever share very secret things like this?

    Is this friend open-minded and accepting of different people?

    Do you trust this person not to tell a soul?

    And most importantly, why do you want to tell in the first place? Are you hoping they'll accept you, and you won't have to worry about it anymore? I think that's understandable; Bering secret does hurt, sometimes. I know what you mean. But I don't think it's worth the risk of humiliation that comes from telling someone.

    I'd suggest instead talking about your ABDL side in a community like this one. Around here you'll find a ton of support and acceptance, without the risks involved in telling in real life. If you have questions or just want to talk, go ahead and make dinner posts! But I don't recommend telling a real-life friend. There are too many ways that could end badly.

  3. #3

    Default

    It is very risky most of the time. Unless you are sure this friend would accept it.

    I understand the want to tell someone but you really don't need to tell any of your friends about it. It's personally. I've only told one friend. and i know she wouldn't tell anyone ever

  4. #4

    Default

    I agree with What everyone else said don't tell your friend It could only end badly for you and your friend!

  5. #5

    Default

    I agree more with Adventurer. The right answer depends on how open and accepting he knows his friend to be. I think Artorias should ask himself WHY he wants to tell his friend. Probably the worst thing you could do is create a big build-up to the reveal. If the conversation steers around to it you could work it in, or just mention it in passing. Maybe don't hide your accessories and see if he says something. And if all that fails and you still really want to tell him, just say, look, I've known you since we were kids and I really need to share this, and just go. BUT, again, it depends on how accepting you think he will be and what your motivation for telling him is. When I told my best friend it was because I really needed to have a friend who knew my inner kid. My husband knows but he fulfills a different role. I have a "big brother" but being that he lives so far away we don't see each other much. I know one other ABDL in real life but we don't hang out often, differing schedules. And I wanted my best friend, who isn't ABDL, to know because one, he's my best friend and two, I need at least ONE good friend who is in the know that I can talk to about this when I need to, and who has no vested interest in trying it. It's just a need I have. Ask yourself what you're hoping to get from confiding in him and gauge whether or not he will be understanding and supportive before you do.

  6. #6

    Default

    Unless you have reason to believe he is interested in or would participate with you and your DL, I think this can safely be called "too much information". Treat it like any other part of your very personal life - keep it to yourself unless they're a part of it.

  7. #7

    Default

    Why on earth would you have the sudden urge to blurt this out to a mate. Seriously, dude. This is something you really need to consider very deeply. Even then I would question why.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't ... But you honestly need to be pretty damn sure this is what you want.

    There ain't no going back.

  8. #8
    toujoursbb

    Default

    Well said, ozbub, exactly!

  9. #9

    Default

    I don't see why you would need to tell your friend just because he's visiting you, unless you're planning to hang out in a nursery or something. Honestly, I don't get why so many people feel the urge to tell people.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Artorias View Post
    I have a bit of a problem you see I have a friend that's coming over to hang out
    I see him often and I've known him since elementary school, we're good friends so I was wondering should I or should I not tell him about my DL-ism if yes how would go about it. I just need some advice please
    Well, I'm probably too late and your friend has been and gone, buuuut.... Why do you need this advice so quickly? What's the sudden urge to tell someone you've known most of your life? Why now? Even if you think it might be a good idea to share your "DL-ism" with him... what's the rush? If you want to do it, take your time to tentatively "feel out" how open he might be to this kind of information... and what you might need to tell him so you both feel comfortable.

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