First let me say that I have been wetting my pants for a few years and not really realizing it. Not like when I was Kid and my bladder would empty, this is more like little spurts that I haven't realized was happening, not enough to show though my outside pants but enough to keep my underwear damp all the time.
I was cleaning out my underwear draw and seen my old white underwear and how pee stained they were. So pee stained that bleach won't take it out. I started wearing darker underwear so the pee stains wouldn't show.
A few reason I may not wanted to accept is for what I had gone through in the past being found out that I was wearing a diaper. Another to may have been fear of knowing that I will be wearing diapers now 24/7 for the rest of my life.
I was warned by my Dr. that this was coming but I don't think I wanted to fully except it.
I plan on living a least another 20 year, my mother is 87 and still kick so I'll be around for a while. But i have accepted that these years will be spent in diapers.