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Thread: Fiance Came Out, I Want to Learn, Advice?

  1. #1

    Default Fiance Came Out, I Want to Learn, Advice?

    Can someone give me some hints on what might be good to do during the role playing? I don't want to fumble around anymore. I want to be good at it and make my fiance feel so loved (and also really turned on). I just discovered his ABDL interest and though it was a major surprise, there is nothing I wouldn't do for this man.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I actually just found a thread with a great list. So that really helps. But I dunno.... maybe there is something I should know? Some cardinal rule? lol.... Anyway, like the name says, happy to learn.

  2. #2
    medicNS

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    Hey there, welcome to the forum and thanks for posting your question! I cannot speak directly for what your fiance may be into but I can speak from my personal ...wants i guess you could call it. I recently came out to my wife and we discussed some things and I told her what it is that would turn me on and what I would like to see her do / wear etc.. If your fiance is anything like me here is some ideas.

    1. Diapers...obviously. The simple thought of seeing my wife in a diaper is enough to get things started let alone having it actually happen. I am sure he is aware of such brands as Bambino Diapers, ABU Universe Cushies, Cuddlz. A quick good image search will show you exactly what these brands look like. Weather or not you choose to pee / wet the diaper, that is up to you and something you will have to discuss with your fiance. Personally I dont see it as a big deal, urine is sterile afterall but my wife doesnt agree lol

    2. Get a pacifier, sippy cup or bottle..... Cuteness factor

    3. Footed PJs are also cute and add to the role playing factor. Combine this with a diapered bum....holy god lol

    4. Have a "little evening" One of the things I fantasize about is my wife regressing into little mode where I will get her diapered up, help her into her PJs fill her cup with apple juice or something and we will cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. Prob something like Toy Story or Elf if its near xmas time etc etc. If you want to take it to the max...the bathroom is off limits, except for #2 unless you want to go all the way. That way you can give him the puppy dog eyes look when you need to be changed etc.

    5. Foreplay. Switch it around on him. You be the dom. Diaper him, tease him. "rub him" through the front of his diaper, change him if he is wet etc.

    Most important of all. Make sure you dont go outside of your comfort level. Talk with him about it and set limits. And dont forget adult time either. You need to have a good balance. He may like it to be 100% abdl but that likely will wear thin on your pretty quick. Find a good balance.

    Hope this helps

  3. #3

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    Welcome to ADISC! First, it's awesome that you're so eager to support your fiance's desires - that alone makes a huge difference. Lots of ABDL folks are terrified of being rejected, and your openness and acceptance are already a beautiful gift.

    Just by looking around, you can see that there are lots of different things you can do during ABDL roleplay. The best thing you can do is talk to your fiance. Ask him if there are any activities he wants to try. Or suggest a few, based on his personality. Maybe he's more active and wants to play active games. Maybe he'd prefer to just cuddle. There's a wide spectrum of things you can do; the best thing you can do is just ask! You can also show him a list of possibilities if he hasn't been involved in the ABDL community before and isn't sure what to suggest.

    There are two "rules" I'd suggest in general. First, be open. Encourage him to share his desires honestly and not be ashamed. Even if it's awkward for either of you, be honest so you can support each other (although it will certainly take a few conversations to be fully comfortable!) Second, and this is especially for you: know your limits. If you're not comfortable with doing something, say so. Be sure to validate his feelings, but don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. Diapers, for example, are a common point of disgust. If you don't want to change a dirty diaper, be clear about that, but be nice at the same time. It's awesome that you'd do anything for your guy, but take care of your needs, too, so you don't end up resenting his little side.

    Other than that, I'd say have fun! Use this as a way to get to know another side of your man; a softer, gentler side, maybe. Your openness means a lot to him, I'm sure. Good luck, and stop by any time if you have questions!

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy2Learn View Post
    Can someone give me some hints on what might be good to do during the role playing? I don't want to fumble around anymore. I want to be good at it and make my fiance feel so loved (and also really turned on). I just discovered his ABDL interest and though it was a major surprise, there is nothing I wouldn't do for this man.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I actually just found a thread with a great list. So that really helps. But I dunno.... maybe there is something I should know? Some cardinal rule? lol.... Anyway, like the name says, happy to learn.
    That would depend if only he wants to wear diapers or if he wants to see you in diapers as well.

    I know that I personally more then likely wouldn't ask a significant other to take part in my own kink but that's because I don't get turned on by women or men in diapers. If I ever do its simply because I wish to be in their position kinda like my fascination with diaper ad's as a kid.


    Now if only he wants to be in diapers, ask him what age he feels, what age he'd like to be treated and just act like your babysitting a kid you're really fond of. Plus roleplaying as a babysitter gives you grounds to set rules as well. Relationships are give and take, and in this sort of roleplay it can and should be applied as well.

  5. #5

    Default

    If I had to provide a 'Cardinal' rule, I would have to say quality communication would be it. It is not exclusively your job to learn about his 'little' side but it is also his role to teach it to you. I have recently begun role playing with my wife and found it to be important to be clear with our thoughts and my desires. Asking or expecting our partner to assume something just won't work. Part of this quality communication is his ability to be comfortable in talking with you. This has been my biggest challenge. My wife showing some degree of interest in my little side has made it considerably easier.

    Try randomly asking him questions throughout the day. Out of nowhere just ask him what his favorite type of diaper is....or what would his favorite type of role play be....or what ages he prefers to role play. I think small but frequent conversations to be better!

  6. #6

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    I think a good rule with sex, or anything kinky, or just relationships in general, is to talk. No, it's not very romantic at first, but by learning what he wants (and expressing what you need/your boundaries as well), you get to know each other rather well on a very deep level. Start with simple things (him calling you 'mommy', having a bottle/pacifier, whatever), and ask a bunch of questions ("How does that feel?" "Do you like when I do that?", etc). Maybe go over that list with him and see if there's anything you'd both be comfortable doing. It'll probably be clumsy at first, but I'll bet that you'll both come to enjoy it with time. Best of luck to you two. (:

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by whitefox View Post
    I think a good rule with sex, or anything kinky, or just relationships in general, is to talk. No, it's not very romantic at first, but by learning what he wants (and expressing what you need/your boundaries as well), you get to know each other rather well on a very deep level. Start with simple things (him calling you 'mommy', having a bottle/pacifier, whatever), and ask a bunch of questions ("How does that feel?" "Do you like when I do that?", etc). Maybe go over that list with him and see if there's anything you'd both be comfortable doing. It'll probably be clumsy at first, but I'll bet that you'll both come to enjoy it with time. Best of luck to you two. (:
    That is a good first step, to "negotiate" what, where, when, & how.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by whitefox View Post
    I think a good rule with sex, or anything kinky, or just relationships in general, is to talk. No, it's not very romantic at first, but by learning what he wants (and expressing what you need/your boundaries as well), you get to know each other rather well on a very deep level. Start with simple things (him calling you 'mommy', having a bottle/pacifier, whatever), and ask a bunch of questions ("How does that feel?" "Do you like when I do that?", etc). Maybe go over that list with him and see if there's anything you'd both be comfortable doing. It'll probably be clumsy at first, but I'll bet that you'll both come to enjoy it with time. Best of luck to you two. (:
    Good advice and it reminded me of this video from Dan Savage on what straight couples can learn from gays: . I thought it was pretty good for less than a four minute investment.

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