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Thread: What are your views on being an AB / DL as you grew older?

  1. #1

    Unhappy What are your views on being an AB / DL as you grew older?

    Within 2 hours GMT +08:00 Hong Kong, Singapore time, I will turn 22 this year. In my recent post , I wrote about my guilt trip about being an AB/DL and recent break up with my current girlfriend. Although I'm still on my lows, I did a long thought on my life. Being AB is just one part of me that I have to accept and deal with it. I believe everything you do must have a moderation, a limit that you need to give to yourself that "hey you know what?, you have reached to its limits, I think it is cool to chill and focus on what is your goal". Thus I have to focus on my goals and be matured about any situation that I'm in. However I have to admit on my emotion EQ of dealing with things that I faced, I'm not good at it. Therefore when things got worse ( or I think it is getting worse) I start to regress real bad and I would be at my lowest point. So What are your views on being an AB / DL as you grew older?

  2. #2

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    It's a part of me and it gets older along with me. I don't mean that it gets boring or that I regress to a different age (actually, I don't regress in the commonly used sense), I simply mean that it is integrated into my personality and continues to do so. Since I decided that My own self-acceptance was the most significant thing I could do. For me, it's not a binary thing but a process and my life has improved as I have managed it better.

    It might not seem like much of an answer but to me, it's a lot like asking how I feel about liking roleplaying games as I get older or enjoy movies. They're just a part of me and while age and experience may bring different things to them over time, I don't expect the fundamental desires to alter.

  3. #3

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    I realized when I got to my teens I don't want to be a baby for real because I liked my own freedom and babies are so limited to what they can do. I became more of a DL as I got older and a big kid. I also realized I didn't need to wear diapers and be a baby or even regress. I could still wear them and be an adult. I also realize they don't make me immature when I wear them or less functional or less responsible. I am still the same person. It doesn't feel weird anymore for a parent to be wearing them and I thought I would give them up when I have kids but here I am still wearing them.

  4. #4

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    For me, this is a difficult question to answer.

    Growing up, I did not really have much of a real childhood, even in my early years.

    I have always had an aversion to the "adult world", because it was full of deceit, abuse, & plain terror.

    Being a developmentally disabled Autistic, my real life social functioning level peaked @ around the level of a 12 year-old.

    @ age 55, I am truthfully a child inside a Senior Citizen's body.

  5. #5

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    It's scary :3 Being a tb is more acceptable to my friends and my family. I was still a child to them, being childish isn't that unrealistic when in the eyes of the law you are still a child. And now I'm all of a sudden an adult and they expect me to act like one >.< And get very disconcerted that I haven't changed over night or come to some great conclusion that I should stop what I am doing and get a 9-5 job :')

    I find it odd in myself. I'm not entirely sure what to make of being an adult when I never really felt like a teenager and I enjoy being a 3 year old. What does one do in that situation? I'm at a crossroads in my life and the best I can tell you it that I'm scared, terrified :3 Being little is a part of me that is never going to change and that I have never had to accept, I never had a problem with it until now. I have little moments of doubt every now and then but those doubts are about the people around me, what I think I should be doing, what they think about me. I never doubt my littleness, or want it to go away. It's just all so confusing. I know it might not be a big deal to some but life is quite different for teens than it is for adults and that does affect your little side :3

    So my views on my progression from teen to adult, terrifying. My views on my progression from TB to AB, confusing.

  6. #6

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    Well...lets posit the question then, what does being adult mean?

    Getting a job? Going to college? Starting a family? Common instances of "adulthood" but what do they actually mean? The only way to understand it at its core is to quite literally simplify it to its core. So why do these? Because as an adult, you might find them desirable? Why is it desirable? Because your conscious cognizant and fully self aware mind tells you so. Why does your mind tell you so? Because it's who you are.

    A great man who wrote terrible, sexist and racist books once said ""When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

    In your conscious thought, you are an ABDL. As an adult, you need to find out if this is desirable to you, if it's something you want deep down at your core. Adulthood isn't expressed in age or sociological standards, it isn't something achieved or earned, all it means is that your mind has developed further and that you are now the sole owner of your actions and the consequences of said actions. You don't need to find moderation, you need to find balance. Forcibly limiting yourself to something you enjoy doing is not helpful to your psyche. Be who you are, and never change it for anyone but yourself.

    As and adult, I enjoy my baby time pretty much every day. I still have the desire to make a future for myself, I still work on my artwork every now and then, sometimes I draw, sometimes I write, sometimes I cook; I do very adult things like that. But in my heart, at my core, I am a little through and through. My daddy knows I'm a little, my Papi knows I am, and I feel no shame or guilt or wrongness of having that side of me as a twenty-five year old.


    So just remember, there is no set standard on what it means to be an adult. What being an adult means is completely subjective, and totally defined by who you are as an individual. I as an adult choose to be a little because I am at my core a little, and that is how I live my life. I make no allusions to it, I don't water it down or pretend that I need to back off or stop doing it for some reason. Beethoven was a great composer because he loved making music and didn't want to stop, not because he was an adult and it was just a chosen profession. I am a little, and I won't ever stop being one.

  7. #7
    Cherub

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    I became more of a DL as I got older and a big kid. I could still wear them and be an adult. I also realize they don't make me immature when I wear them or less functional or less responsible. I am still the same person.


    Quote Originally Posted by JellybeanBear View Post
    And now I'm all of a sudden an adult and they expect me to act like one >.< Being little is a part of me that is never going to change


    Quote Originally Posted by JackieMae View Post
    In your conscious thought, you are an ABDL. As an adult, you need to find out if this is desirable to you, Be who you are, and never change it for anyone but yourself. I still have the desire to make a future for myself,
    So just remember, there is no set standard on what it means to be an adult. What being an adult means is completely subjective, and totally defined by who you are as an individual.
    Being AB/DL and an adult means means nothing. The one has nothing to do with the other. What I find interesting is the stigma-like reaction younger people had/have towards older AB/DL's. I now find it amusing that younger AB/DL's find it creepy that someone could be in their 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond and still be AB/DL. If they would stop and think it though they might realize that one day it very well could be them in that position and be treated that way by the generation after them.

    I used to feel shoved aside because I was in my 30's and still AB/DL. Now it doesn't bother me what younger AB/DL's think. So basically that's my view on being AB/DL and growing older.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cherub View Post
    I now find it amusing that younger AB/DL's find it creepy that someone could be in their 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond and still be AB/DL.
    I think it's an offshoot of the doubt most of us have. They are probably clinging to the idea that this is something they will outgrow, and seeing older AB/DLs discomforts them. I've been avoiding the AB/DL communities for most of my life, so I don't know how widespread this stigma is, but that's the only explanation I've got. I'd hope most of the minority who are discomfited by seeing older AB/DLs would at least keep it to themselves seeing as how they should understand the doubts and stigmas as well the benefit of an accepting community like this.

  9. #9

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    When I tried to deny my being a DL and loving to be a daddy to ab-dl's i ended up extremely depressed, having it always on my mind. Its only when i accepted my crinkly kink that i started to enjoy life again. I had to balance my desires with my adult/outside life but.. i may be 30, i may be getting older each day. But i see no reason that i should ever stop loving to be padded and being a daddy.

    Yes it may be "weirder" when im twice my age, but eh.. im already weird. and proud of it.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by TCWWITHAUTISMANDCP View Post
    For me, this is a difficult question to answer.

    Growing up, I did not really have much of a real childhood, even in my early years.

    I have always had an aversion to the "adult world", because it was full of deceit, abuse, & plain terror.

    Being a developmentally disabled Autistic, my real life social functioning level peaked @ around the level of a 12 year-old.

    @ age 55, I am truthfully a child inside a Senior Citizen's body.
    I have a few years on you but I do few years on you but I do feel the same way. Part of us is still a child.

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