So here is a thing I am noticing:
Most of the time I am aware that I am about to wet myself. I have maybe five seconds' or so warning--nowhere near enough time to make it to a women's room or even to my own bathroom. But what I'm writing about is: when I try to stop the flow--you know, contracting the muscles as I've always done--it just feels as if...I don't know how to describe this...I can't get the door to shut. The urine is going to keep coming no matter what I do: I feel as if I'm doing everything I was doing before but it's just having no result whatsoever.
Is this a normal sort of sensation? I don't know what I am supposed to be feeling. All I know is that I have no control.
Kegels don't work. Pills don't work. And pads are not going to help with some of the times this occurs: it's just too much. Or my position is too awkward: I might be lounging in some twisted position where a pad would not be positioned properly to catch anything. That's why I am using diapers. They work.