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Thread: Advice needed please

  1. #1

    Unhappy Advice needed please

    Since I was 5 I've had terrible bowel problems and a lot of embarrassing moments. For a whilst I've been able to manage the problem with different medication but lately it's returning to how it used to be and it's bringing me down.

    Me and my parents have spoken about what I could do to manage and I was referred by one of my doctors (for a different problem) to a surgeon and I was offered an operation to remove the colon.

    I have been thinking lately about using adult diapers to control the situation and avoid accidents. I also have a lot of trouble with mobility so I think it would help in that area too instead of nearly causing injury trying to get to the toilet on time.

    I'm 21 and still live with my parents. I feel like I can usually talk to them about anything and there has been plenty of times we have spoken about the accidents. But I'm having a lot of trouble bringing this one up.

    I was thinking about starting off by talking to my mum about my problems and somehow steering the conversation towards this subject but I don't really know where to go from there. I have been thinking lately, maybe I should just wear all of the time and stop anything before it happens but I think saying something like that might get her worried.

    What should I do? How can I bring this up without making people worry?

    Any advice would be great and would help a lot,
    Thanks in advanced

  2. #2

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    You be up front with this problem and discuss this with your parents as you live at home. If medical help is needed I'm not familiar with the UK medical system since I don't live there.
    Wearing is definitely a help in your case for accidents. The sooner you have that discussion the better off you will be if the problem gets worse.

  3. #3

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    Just so we can understand your situation a bit more. The only reason im asking you this is cause this is also a abdl site. Do you have any abdl intrests that worry you when talking to your parents?

    If not If I were in your postion I would tell my parents even though I understand diapers is a tuff topic to talk about. Just be sure to let them know the laundry list of reason you have come to this radical conclusion. Best of luck to you sir.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaSS View Post
    Just so we can understand your situation a bit more. The only reason im asking you this is cause this is also a abdl site. Do you have any abdl intrests that worry you when talking to your parents?

    If not If I were in your postion I would tell my parents even though I understand diapers is a tuff topic to talk about. Just be sure to let them know the laundry list of reason you have come to this radical conclusion. Best of luck to you sir.
    Thank you for your reply. I don't have any ABDL interests, I just worry in case they think I'm being daft.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by oleman72 View Post
    You be up front with this problem and discuss this with your parents as you live at home. If medical help is needed I'm not familiar with the UK medical system since I don't live there.
    Wearing is definitely a help in your case for accidents. The sooner you have that discussion the better off you will be if the problem gets worse.
    Thank you for your reply. I've recently had an appointment with a surgeon where an operation was offered but I want to leave that as a last resort sort of thing. I'm waiting for the right time to talk to my parents about it but every time I go to mention it, someone else shows up.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by shaunk1991 View Post
    Thank you for your reply. I don't have any ABDL interests, I just worry in case they think I'm being daft.
    I can't see anything daft about this solution. In point of fact (and in a completely ironic way) it is one of most mature decisions you could arrive at. Consider: you know the social implications of diapers, and you are completely aware of the potential reactions that your parents might have. Yet, having examined your options to find a solution to an ongoing problem, you are looking past what others might believe and accepting that this is the best available possibility. It takes someone with a strong and mature outlook to come to such a decision. I congratulate you and wish you luck.

  6. #6

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    I am surprised that your parents haven't thought about diapers by now. This has to be embarrassing to both you and them. Having your colon removed you will be wearing a bag. It can be reversed in a year or two but you may still need diapers after.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by kennyrallen View Post
    I am surprised that your parents haven't thought about diapers by now. This has to be embarrassing to both you and them. Having your colon removed you will be wearing a bag. It can be reversed in a year or two but you may still need diapers after.
    The way the offered surgery is done means that a bag will not be needed but, if things revert back to how they are now, a bag will be fitted.

    I have been talking to a few people who have been through the surgery and by the looks of things I will need diapers either way.

    Me and my mum have spoke about it before and nothing really came of the conversation. This was a few years ago though so I think that she might have forgot about it. I think my family might be putting off mentioning it because they know that sometimes I don't react well to things haha.

    Thank you for your reply.
    Shaun

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by shaunk1991 View Post
    The way the offered surgery is done means that a bag will not be needed but, if things revert back to how they are now, a bag will be fitted.

    I have been talking to a few people who have been through the surgery and by the looks of things I will need diapers either way.

    Me and my mum have spoke about it before and nothing really came of the conversation. This was a few years ago though so I think that she might have forgot about it. I think my family might be putting off mentioning it because they know that sometimes I don't react well to things haha.

    Thank you for your reply.
    Shaun
    It is good that they can do it in one surgery now. My older brother had colon cancer and had to have his removed. He just went through the second surgery. Need to watch for infections real close. Ya diapers are part of his life now to.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by kennyrallen View Post
    It is good that they can do it in one surgery now. My older brother had colon cancer and had to have his removed. He just went through the second surgery. Need to watch for infections real close. Ya diapers are part of his life now to.
    I'm glad that they are able to do it in one go since I was told it's one hell of a knock back after it's done. I hope your brother is ok. Thank you again for your help

  10. #10

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    Um... I wouldn't call diapers a "good" choice to manage bowel incontinence, honestly. And personally, I'd never choose a stoma (pouch) either... yuck

    I wonder why no one has mentioned colon irrigation so far, not even your doctors?
    It's pretty much the easiest way to achieve an 24/7 bowel continence, you only need to do it on a daily basis.

    For those, who don't know what this is exactly:
    A rectal catheter that is passed into the rectum and is retained by a balloon that is inflated while you're sitting on the toilet. Warm irrigation fluid from a reservoir is slowly pumped in to the rectum using a hand-held pump. Once the fluid has been pumped in, the balloon is deflated and the rectum is emptied. The whole process can take up to 40 minutes but it depends on the person itself (some may only need ~20 minutes). It is recommended that the procedure is carried out with 500-1000ml every day for a few weeks then, depending on the result, the frequency can then be reduced to every other or every third day.

    However... it can be that it fails by... having a too soft stool basically.
    But that's easy going, just eat some fleawort (psyllium) every day, mixed in yoghurt or cereals. This gives "more mass" without causing an obstipation.


    Just my 0,02$, I'd give it a shot ;)

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