Honestly, lately I've been feeling not just dismayed by current events, but like the whole god damned system is absolutely fucking broken. I mean, the United States allegedly has a constitution meant to protect various civil rights, but then we have a government that spies on every communication we make and relies on a secret court comprised of "judges" appointed by one person with no oversight, approval or outside input (the one person is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, presently John Roberts). We have a legal system in which your treatment directly depends on your income, despite that pesky parchment document that's supposed to give us all a fair shot at the courts. We have a criminal justice system, supported by a legal structure, where murder is legal as long as you do it correctly and can keep a straight face long enough to get a "not guilty." But then, none of that matters either since we have a police that acts like an occupying military and is more likely to thump your skull as help you, but then if they don't get you the drones probably will. We have a culture that despises intelligence and practically worships the banal and officials that are reworking the textbooks and buying the curricula to support their new and improved versions of history and science. We have an entire industry built around denying equal rights to whatever group they've decided will make a good target for a couple decades and a significant portion of the population that genuinely believes the pigmentation of a person's skin is indicative of that person's character, ability, and worth. The news has been canceled, and scripted conjured concocted bullshit imagined by so few companies that I can count them on my hands is paraded across every medium as though it's the new testament of god. Poverty is considered a character flaw while malevolence, evil, and disregard for humanity that can make someone a few bucks are considered things to strive for. A person's right to life is now less valuable than some other person's right to be a fucker with a gun, and if you happen to get in the way of his liberty with your life, well tough shit for you.
Tonight's the kind of night that if I were alone, I'd put in Network and skip to the scene where Howard Beale has his rant on the air, and I'd feel like nearly every god damned word was written today instead of in 1976. Only I wouldn't open the window to scream how mad I was, lest the cops show up with a SWAT team to quiet me down. But I'm still mad as hell! I'm mad as hell at a system that's absolutely fucking broken and leaders that tell us it's all cool while not even pretending to give half a fuck about us or the ideals that we allegedly live by. I'm mad as hell that I have to read the news from fucking RUSSIA because I can't trust the news in my own country. I'm mad as hell that some dimwit with a gun just got away with murder without so much as a stern talking-to. I'm mad as hell that I am more scared of the police than I am of the guys that broke into one of my properties. I'm mad as hell that who you love or what color your skin is determines how people treat you, your neighborhood, and your city. I'm mad as hell that in a country with so much wealth, things are so bad that people have to rip old pipes and wiring and door knobs out of houses to sell for scrap to get a fucking sandwich!
And I feel like no one gets it. I get absolutely furious that it seems like no one even fucking asks why things are they way the are. I see so much wasted potential. I look around Detroit, and then I look at what's happening nationally and wider still and I see the fate of the United States in every block of Detroit. I see crooked greedy corporations in bed with crooked greedy politicians and they're all robbing us blind. Fifty years from now we'll all be asking how it is "they" let it all get so bad, how it is they spent so much treasure and time only to let it all go to waste and crumble around them while a few intrepid entrepreneurs try to rebuild some of the choicest pieces in an attempt to make their way in a world where there's nothing else for them and no one else fucking cares.
I'm tired but I won't sleep. I'd drink, but that would just crash me and make me depressed. I'd throw something, but it would just break and make a mess. On nights like this I feel overwhelmed, and I wonder what's the fucking point. I'm too smart to pretend, and I'm too stupid to figure it out. I know none of this shit is new or novel, except maybe in the trappings. It wasn't new in 1976 when they made Network. It wasn't new the time before that, either.
And yet it's still overwhelming sometimes.