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Thread: frustration..living in your own head

  1. #1

    Default frustration..living in your own head

    I have no idea what I am going to write here if I am honest. I just need to let off some steam in front of people who get it!
    I have long since accepted that this is part of who I am and I am totally comfortable with that. What I find difficult is that even though I accept it and see it as a normal part of me. Just as normal as what films I like, what music I like etc etc, I find it it frustrating that I can't share this part of me with ANYONE. Yes I can come on here and talk to people and I can go to other similar places but I can't sit and have a chat with someone in real life who understands.
    Of course I eventually would love to meet a nice girl who will accept this part of me and will want to indulge in this ..well...fetish I guess. At the moment though I would give anything just to be able to be myself 100% with my friends without being judged.
    I am a totally normal person who has a lot of friends, a good job, play in a band the only difference is that instead of liking girls in naughty lingerie I prefer them in nappies.
    It's silly when you think about it, one little fact about my sexuality and it can make such a level headed person feel so alone.

    For anyone reading this, I am not a depressive or anything, I'm generally a happy person. I guess wanting to satisfy this side of me just gets to me now and again.

  2. #2

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    There is nothing wrong with liking to seeing girls in nappies. Some of them look very cure in their nappies.

  3. #3

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    Have you ever met anyone into this, or indeed any kind of alternative fetish, in real life? There are some weird people out there, there are also some very, very normal and very sane ones. You are not alone, as you note from being here. The problem is that, knowing you wouldn't be talking to anyone here but for the shared fetish doesn't help you feel less alone. I think the first person you meet and befriend, and with whom you realise that you would be friends, even if not for the kink connection, is vital to changing your outlook on it all

    One of my best friends I met online via a BDSM website. We have some common kinks, and we occasionally talk about these things. But mostly, we hang out. We make each other laugh, we go dancing, we give each other advice and support in our careers and lives in general. I have felt 100% more liberated since knowing him.

    The internet does a great job of allowing you to introduce yourself to others sharing a niche common interest, and the best part is that you can filter out some of the crazies before you even meet, and if you discover that they are during a meeting, there is a 99.9% chance that you will never come across that person again

  4. #4

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    you certainly have a point about the whole crazies thing. I have come across some proper nut jobs! In many ways I kinda like people a bit weird haha. Not prison kind of weird, just a bit different! but yes filtering the headcases is a good thing.
    I haven't met anyone into this in the real world no. I have dabbled in this with an ex girlfriend but it felt really awkward as I knew it was all for me and my partner wasn't really getting anything from it. You totally hit the nail on the head with the not feeling less alone thing as well. I mean i have a hell of a lot of friends. I know I could talk to them about the most intimate of things but not this. So I come online, maybe expecting it to be a magical cure all. Never is! haha.
    it's really lucky that you did meet someone because it's right in what you say, you need to have things in common, be actual friends for real reasons and not just the fetish.

  5. #5

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    With the internet, you are never alone...

    You never know what could happen, maybe you will meet someone out there IRL. Its a lot more common than people think

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by daddyaaron View Post
    I find it it frustrating that I can't share this part of me with ANYONE.

    I can't sit and have a chat with someone in real life who understands.

    At the moment though I would give anything just to be able to be myself 100% with my friends without being judged.

    When I did a little editing I think you answered your own question and summed up what a lot of us feel.

    In our current society you can not talk to anyone about anything and not get judged. But as you pare your prospects down then you are limited to find someone who is open minded enough to listen, not judge and understand. The only ones that fit that bill are what one refers to a "close friends" and they are few and far between, or our pets.

    Face it, do you even have that many here? People who know your real name. I have three from this site, and only one has ever answered a e-mail.

    So I guess we really can't just talk to anyone.

    So I guess the bottom line is that I, you, we don't have a lot of people that we are willing to risk talking to about our deepest secrets

  7. #7

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    I like to meet others who are ab or dl. A few are close friends. In general terms many things are common in the community, I have found like that we are in general a nerdy lot, lots of science fiction fans, even comic book fans. Everyone has a plushy collection... We are pretty lgbt-aware and lgbt-friendly, whatever our personal preference.

    So it's like real life: your kink or lifestyle is a starting point but only that: I don't expect to like or get on with all 26,000+ of us on here, though I give it a fair shot.

    Rumor has it you can find 2 soccer fans and yet they won't both like Arsenal!!

    But seriously, try getting out and into the live abdl munch scene... it's nice to have some sure common ground to start with and an open attitude then allow preparation to meet opportunity: which happens to be my favorite definition of "luck."

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by daddyaaron View Post
    I have no idea what I am going to write here if I am honest. I just need to let off some steam in front of people who get it!
    I have long since accepted that this is part of who I am and I am totally comfortable with that. What I find difficult is that even though I accept it and see it as a normal part of me. Just as normal as what films I like, what music I like etc etc, I find it it frustrating that I can't share this part of me with ANYONE. Yes I can come on here and talk to people and I can go to other similar places but I can't sit and have a chat with someone in real life who understands.
    Of course I eventually would love to meet a nice girl who will accept this part of me and will want to indulge in this ..well...fetish I guess. At the moment though I would give anything just to be able to be myself 100% with my friends without being judged.
    I am a totally normal person who has a lot of friends, a good job, play in a band the only difference is that instead of liking girls in naughty lingerie I prefer them in nappies.
    It's silly when you think about it, one little fact about my sexuality and it can make such a level headed person feel so alone.

    For anyone reading this, I am not a depressive or anything, I'm generally a happy person. I guess wanting to satisfy this side of me just gets to me now and again.
    I completely get this.

    I can discuss this topic with my GF but it is only in the persuit of expanding our mutual progression of it. It does not cover the area of another's blind interest in it.

    Let me explain:

    With my GF we can discuss the nature of the kink/fetish but it is in the realm of 'how do we use this to our advantage in our relationship?' It is more of a goal oriented nature rather than a genuine interest in it. This is a beneficial interest only exrapilated upon because of a perceived gain. I am not complaining here of course.

    With my best friend of 28+ years I long to be able to openly discuss this fetish of mine. I often fantasize about the conversation and how it would go. I fantasize about his interest in it knowing his own regarded fetish and the discussions we've had on it. I often wonder how much he even knows about ABDL'ism. I wonder about the questions he would ask and how I could possibly answer them.

    Outside of this realm I have come to the conclusion that it would be bizaare and frightening to anyone else.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Raccoon View Post
    So it's like real life: your kink or lifestyle is a starting point but only that
    Bang on. And in my humble opinion, starting with the kink side is an easier, and lower risk, way of meeting someone with whom you get on on a vanilla level, than starting with the vanilla and trying to find someone who isn't freaked out, let alone understands, the kink

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