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Thread: What should I do? :(

  1. #1
    RainbowShy

    Default What should I do? :(

    I always have those urges where I want to be ABDL, but I'm just afraid of what my parents would think. My mom isn't very understanding like my dad is. If I could come up with a good enough reason to explain to my psychiatrist why it's important for me to be an ABDL, would it be worth it? I think if anything... he's trained to deal with just about anything.

    My only concern is, explaining that. I can't even explain it on my iPad why I feel being ABDL would probably help my conditions any. I just know if I tried it, that maybe it might help me recover some of my lost childhood I hardly remember. Thing is, it doesn't seem like a good enough reason for me to be an ABDL, and I really want to have access to things like a pacifier. I'm not into becoming a full AB or anything... but enough so that I can have a little bit of regression in order to help the urges I get.

    What I'm trying to say is... should I try explaining this to my dad and my psychiatrist? My dad usually goes with me when I see my psychiatrist. My dad is a bit more understanding than my mom, but the problem is that if I don't include my mom then she's going to bitch when I go and buy a pacifier or something without knowing what I told my dad and psychiatrist about how I feel.

    I'm more concerned about her than I am my psychiatrist and my dad. :/ She doesn't really understand these things like I know they would. I'm kind of stuck at the moment and... I'm pretty sure that's what's stressing me out.

  2. #2

    Default

    It's definitely a starts that you are about to open up to us here. My advise is to talk it over. If you leave it between you and the psychiatrist to start then you can get a better feel for why you enjoy this. Then you'd be better equipped to talk to your dad and eventually your mom. The doctor is there to listen and help you sort these things out and then you'll have the power. I for one do not know why I like diapers, or my pacifier, other than it just is comforting to wear and use them. For others, it is a way of coping. Just remember, we ate who we are and should not change for anyone. If it helps, you'll always be accepted here.

  3. #3

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    Sounds like classic binge/purge cycle to me. Your going to have a lot of desires for AB stuff in a certain amount of time and almost none in other amounts of time. Also If I were you, I wouldnt talk to anybody in my life about being an AB, because frankly its none of their business. However if you really need to talk to your therapist about it, I would show them this site Understanding Infantilism. Its not all correct but I found it somewhat helpful. If your mom wouldn't understand ABism, I dont see any reason why you would want to talk to her about it.

  4. #4
    RainbowShy

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by bigbluehusky View Post
    It's definitely a starts that you are about to open up to us here. My advise is to talk it over. If you leave it between you and the psychiatrist to start then you can get a better feel for why you enjoy this. Then you'd be better equipped to talk to your dad and eventually your mom. The doctor is there to listen and help you sort these things out and then you'll have the power. I for one do not know why I like diapers, or my pacifier, other than it just is comforting to wear and use them. For others, it is a way of coping. Just remember, we ate who we are and should not change for anyone. If it helps, you'll always be accepted here.
    Well yeah... that's why I thought I could try explaining to him. He's really good at listening, even though he's actually only supposed to help with my medication and stuff. I know it's his job to serve as a therapist when things like this come up. For me, I don't remember anything from my childhood. I've had a lot of head trauma and plus, being autistic doesn't make that any better. I think a lot of it comes from the fact that I yearn for a little regression to help me some. I could easily explain to him how I think a pacifier would help calm me down and stuff too because of the autism and the anxiety. I'd just have to do it in a much more discreet place. Like, in other words, I wouldn't just suck a pacifier every time I got anxious at walmart or something like that, you know? It wouldn't even matter if it screwed my teeth up because... they're already screwed up as it is.



    Quote Originally Posted by BabyTommy View Post
    Sounds like classic binge/purge cycle to me. Your going to have a lot of desires for AB stuff in a certain amount of time and almost none in other amounts of time. Also If I were you, I wouldnt talk to anybody in my life about being an AB, because frankly its none of their business. However if you really need to talk to your therapist about it, I would show them this site Understanding Infantilism. Its not all correct but I found it somewhat helpful. If your mom wouldn't understand ABism, I dont see any reason why you would want to talk to her about it.
    Funny thing is... my autistic disorder is known as "infantile autism". That's why I think a lot of these urges are due to me having autism. I can easily explain the reasons why I might want to try using a pacifier because a lot of older people with autism use pacifiers to calm them. But the only downside of that is the amount of people that are going to stare at me or something because I'm sucking a pacifier after a meltdown or whatever, at least that would be my parents concern.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BabyTommy View Post
    Sounds like classic binge/purge cycle to me. Your going to have a lot of desires for AB stuff in a certain amount of time and almost none in other amounts of time. Also If I were you, I wouldnt talk to anybody in my life about being an AB, because frankly its none of their business. However if you really need to talk to your therapist about it, I would show them this site Understanding Infantilism. Its not all correct but I found it somewhat helpful. If your mom wouldn't understand ABism, I dont see any reason why you would want to talk to her about it.
    I'll be the first to admit that I'm far from a professional I'm these matters however keeping things that bother you bottled up isn't helpful either. Trust me when I say while I haven't told many people about my abdl side, it has caused me much grief in the past. Even off he should choose only to discuss it here with us that's better than nothing, but professional help might be the ticket to him for self acceptance. I just happened to find that in befriending a few people in here.

  6. #6

    Default

    I'd see if you can speak to your psychotherapist alone (unless you're okay with your dad there) and try to explain how you feel about your AB/DL side. I did and I don't regret it at all. So long as you're comfortable with him/her, you don't have anything to lose: they won't (or shouldn't!) judge you or tell anyone else, and therapists can be great at helping people to understand themselves better.

    I found it almost impossible to know what to say to my therapist. He suggested writing it down, but there was no way I could do that! So... I let him know I had a "secret" that I was really embarrassed about... Then a bit later I dropped in the fact that I feel like a little kid sometimes... and when he said, "Everyone had an 'inner-child'"... I said, "Yes, but this is different... I really feel like a little kid sometimes."

    And then I showed him some of the really cute photos from the Privatina website, which pretty much filled it in for him:
    privatina - individual one piece fashion: adult baby Outdoor Jacke *happy...
    privatina - individual one piece fashion: adult baby Strampler *trainer*...
    privatina - individual one piece fashion: adult baby Schneeoverall *explorer...
    privatina - individual one piece fashion: Spieloverall cord *comfort*...

    And finalllllly (much later), I mumbled something about the fact that I wear diapers because they relax me and make me feel better... and he didn't flinch at all as he said it was a very understandable coping mechanism that I have...

    I don't know if that helps at all, but good luck whatever you decide to do!

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by AutisticChessie View Post

    Funny thing is... my autistic disorder is known as "infantile autism". That's why I think a lot of these urges are due to me having autism. I can easily explain the reasons why I might want to try using a pacifier because a lot of older people with autism use pacifiers to calm them. But the only downside of that is the amount of people that are going to stare at me or something because I'm sucking a pacifier after a meltdown or whatever, at least that would be my parents concern.
    Infantile Autism merely means showing signs of autism from birth or very shortly thereafter. Incidentally I'm aware how those of us On The Spectrum have the famous trait of being honest and open to a fault, but I learned something in my early teens: "what they don't know will never hurt them" - this coupled with my experiences of receiving pain instead of safety within my family of origin have long taught me to hide who I am or come hell to pay. If your family likewise has given you reasons not to trust them I see it as a bit of maladaptive daydreaming that telling anyone there will result in you being allowed to indulge with impunity. Of course, YMMV as they seem to be somewhat aware of what autism is and how it affects you. In my case there's NWIH I'd ever let that part of me slip out in my FOO's presence, given their track record of how they've EXcepted me

  8. #8

    Default

    my motto is if they dont need to know dont tell them. its a private thing that most of us enjoy doing ourselfs maybe sometimes with a girlfriend of s/o.

    there it is simple and short and to the point.

  9. #9

    Default

    Psychiatrists and therapists are there for listening and trying to impart some understanding. I see no harm in telling your therapist, but as another has said, I would do it alone, just you and the therapist. Rely on the therapist to advise you as to whether this is something you need to share with your parents. I don't think any of us can advise you in that regard, not knowing your parents or your complete psychological makeup.

  10. #10
    RainbowShy

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Psychiatrists and therapists are there for listening and trying to impart some understanding. I see no harm in telling your therapist, but as another has said, I would do it alone, just you and the therapist. Rely on the therapist to advise you as to whether this is something you need to share with your parents. I don't think any of us can advise you in that regard, not knowing your parents or your complete psychological makeup.
    Well, it's actually kind of hard for me to go alone. I mean, the very idea of it causes me great anxiety. :/ I don't like the idea of being alone for some reason. ._. I know my dad would be a little understanding though.

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