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Thread: Worried, Anxious or Plain Scared?

  1. #1

    Post Worried, Anxious or Plain Scared?

    I don't know if this is the right forum to post this in but...I've just come back onto ADISC to have a look around the site on a whim, after talking to a friend who is into the AB/DL lifestyle.

    I was active on here a little while ago and even started a role play that I had intended to be long term but life got busy and I got caught up in other things, so I strayed away.

    I've stayed away for a while...and I've been doing a lot of thinking during that time. I mean, no one else knows that I'm even curious about this stuff. I guess what I'm trying to say is: does anyone else get the feeling that maybe this is doing something wrong, or shouldn't even be interested in this stuff?

    Because of my faith/beliefs...well, let's just say I don't know if God is happy about me doing this and getting into this sort of thing. It's a personal issue but it's one that's concerning me greatly. I feel so embarrassed that I feel like I can never, ever tell anyone I know irl except other people who like the AB/DL/Babyfurs...even furries. But at the same time, there's definitely something that I'm fascinated by. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm actually a little into this stuff too and never knew it until now, but these realisations and new feelings are kind of...scary.

    I mean...the most I've ever done is a few role plays, a short story that kinda haunts me 'cause it's one of the worst things I think I've ever written (ha ha! I guess it helps to get comfortable and research the subject matter before I attempt that again), and the odd fantasy or fan fiction idea. And the most extreme I have ever gone to, because I just wanted to know what it's wetting a few pads/surfboards a bit when I was on my own and no one was around.

    Right now, I'm struggling with the feelings of should I just leave and steer myself clear of this stuff to avoid these doubts and awkward fears, or is it okay to just stay in touch with it a little....?

    As you can tell, I'm really confused. ^_^; I hope some of this makes sense. For me, it's like a super-top-secret-thing that I can never share with anyone except on sites like ADISC and with others who already know about it.

  2. #2


    Unfortunately, this is something you have to work out for yourself. I know that for me arriving here was as a result of seeking broader connection to something which was already deeply ingrained in me, not out of some curiosity about this weird thing I'd stumbled upon. I believe that if you are an ABDL then it is plainly obvious to you and probably has been since you we're quite young... If this is the case, then the next step is to accept this and work out where and how you will fit this into your life, because its unlikely to go away just because you change the channel.

    Good luck with it.

  3. #3


    I say stay in touch as most as you'd like to! If you want to enjoy it more than only a little, than do so, it's nothing wrong about it.

    So I mean, you enjoyed it and why should it be wrong? Surely we all think that we're crazy at some point. But are you hurting someone? No, you're not! Not even yourself! You can be happy this way.

    And if you're bringing God into play... well what's Religion about? Finding your inner self, be happy, embrace who and what you are and make the most out of it.
    Everyone likes to do different stuff and furthermore uses different things to cope. If you enjoy this, than it's the right thing. Why shouldn't god be happy if you're happy? That is what life is about, to be truly happy in the right way.
    Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. And think about it, god made you this way, so why should it be wrong, if it's nothing bad?

    Anyway, it's kinda common that these realizations and feelings seem scary, strange and totally abnormal. But this is normal, it's what being human means. We question ourselves that things we do might be the right thing or the wrong one. Just a simple thought processing.
    And honestly, if someone lacks this natural "instinct".... that would be kinda scary. You couldn't judge this way about what you're doing and couldn't fix mistakes.

    About telling other people... I know it's hard. I understand completely that you feel that this is too strange to talk about it IRL. It ain't wrong at one hand, since it's something private.
    However at some point, perhaps you feel like telling someone. Especially if you meet someone that you don't to want let go, so speaking of your "love" ;). So that you wan't to share this feeling with your SO that this person may perhaps enjoy it too in the end, which would be great.

    Besides that you could also check out your local area for little munches. That's a great way to simply get to know a lot of people with the same "thinking". And furthermore to see that those aren't strange or creepy persons at all.

    But it's not my place to say to tell you what to do. Ultimately it's your decision. And I think... do what's best for you. But if you're deciding to embrace what you like and just do it... it ain't wrong.
    It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye... So let your heart guide you, that's my advice, best wishes!

  4. #4


    When I was still religious, I struggled with reconciling my faith and being an ABDL. Ultimately, I concluded several things: God does not forbid pleasure in and of itself; I was not putting the diapers before god; as long as I wasn't harming others, harming myself, spending money I couldn't afford to spend, or focusing on diapers in a way that interfered with the rest of my life, then I was not being a poor steward of the resources god offered; and I could not let diapers replace a human in my love life. These were the conclusions I came to after much prayerful consideration, reading the bible, and searching for alternative angles to consider in the world and internet of 2001.

    Basically, my coming to grips with being an ABDL involved knowing and establishing boundaries appropriate to the context of my life. At the time, my soul-searching was guided by Christianity, but I feel that the process is the same and the conclusions would be the same regardless of what flavor of faith or non-faith one carries in one's life. There's nothing in what I concluded that is the sole province of Christianity. One could omit or swap out the references to the Christian god and the conclusions would remain intact. To wit, these are the same ideas I still hold about being an ABDL, and I've long since parted ways with Christianity and any belief in a divine being.

    It seems that you're at that point where you've begun soul-searching and seeking alternative angles to consider. I would suggest you consult the readings of your faith on your own time and terms, but also consider some of what I've mentioned previously. The next time you want to wrap up, do it, then try to pay attention to your feelings and the sensations and the world around you (even if that world is your room behind a closed door). I don't mean this to suggest you focus on the thrill to the exclusion of everything else but rather the opposite. Try to look past the thrill to what else you're feeling and seeing and experiencing physically and emotionally.

    To be honest, what I suggest will remove some of the sort of... Mystical feeling from the experience. What it will also do, though, is make it more accessible and understandable and less unknown and separate from you. It will bring the experience down to a level where you can grapple with it in more realistic and less reverent ways. It won't destroy the thrill and pleasure of it, but it will alter it and allow you to experience different facets of it. More importantly for this conversation, however, it will help to bring new information to you as you sort this out for yourself. It will also, I think, make it feel less like it's replacing your faith when you do it.

    I'm sure you'll be able to sort this out, and I wish you well as you do.

  5. #5


    I've been where you are. It took a lot of time for me to be comfortable with my sexuality and wants/needs.

    Being a DL and longing for an AB lifestyle didn't just happen one day. For as long as I can remember I've had a fascination with diapers. Unfortunately it was a lifestyle that wasn't harmonious with my religious beliefs. It took me awhile but after a lot of thinking and personal reflection. I've accepted that being and ABDL is a part of who I am. For lack of a better word I will say that everyone has their own "kinks". I guarantee you that behind closed doors the way people live their lives is completely different from what they present themselves to be to the rest of the world. (Even the most religious folks.)

    How you live your life is completely up to you. How you reconcile your "kinks" with your faith is up to you too.

    My personal thought though is that you shouldn't feel ashamed or think that something is wrong with you.

    Be who you want to be. If you are yourself - that can't be wrong.

  6. #6


    Thank you everyone for the kind and thoughtful responses. It took a lot of courage for me to post this. ^////^

    I suppose I just felt like this is forbidden territory in a way...but when I think back, I've always been interested in this stuff to some degree or other, just always pushed it away because of the same reasons I mentioned above. I'll think over everything you all have said and try to see if I can work out where I stand on this. Part of me is really happy that I might be able to accept this side of myself without shame or worry but the rest is still kind of puzzling through. Thank you very much for helping me out and all the kind wishes and thoughts. ^_^ I think I'll stick around a while and just see how things go.

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