I don't know if this is the right forum to post this in but...I've just come back onto ADISC to have a look around the site on a whim, after talking to a friend who is into the AB/DL lifestyle.
I was active on here a little while ago and even started a role play that I had intended to be long term but life got busy and I got caught up in other things, so I strayed away.
I've stayed away for a while...and I've been doing a lot of thinking during that time. I mean, no one else knows that I'm even curious about this stuff. I guess what I'm trying to say is: does anyone else get the feeling that maybe this is doing something wrong, or shouldn't even be interested in this stuff?
Because of my faith/beliefs...well, let's just say I don't know if God is happy about me doing this and getting into this sort of thing. It's a personal issue but it's one that's concerning me greatly. I feel so embarrassed that I feel like I can never, ever tell anyone I know irl except other people who like the AB/DL/Babyfurs...even furries. But at the same time, there's definitely something that I'm fascinated by. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm actually a little into this stuff too and never knew it until now, but these realisations and new feelings are kind of...scary.
I mean...the most I've ever done is a few role plays, a short story that kinda haunts me 'cause it's one of the worst things I think I've ever written (ha ha! I guess it helps to get comfortable and research the subject matter before I attempt that again), and the odd fantasy or fan fiction idea. And the most extreme I have ever gone to, because I just wanted to know what it's like...is wetting a few pads/surfboards a bit when I was on my own and no one was around.
Right now, I'm struggling with the feelings of should I just leave and steer myself clear of this stuff to avoid these doubts and awkward fears, or is it okay to just stay in touch with it a little....?
As you can tell, I'm really confused. ^_^; I hope some of this makes sense. For me, it's like a super-top-secret-thing that I can never share with anyone except on sites like ADISC and with others who already know about it.