I've poked my nose around these forums for some time now, and never been a huge contributor as you can obviously tell from my account, however, something has always bothered me very specifically about a vast majority of topics concerning individuals trying to find a way to fit in in this world as a ABDL. ( sorry for the mega run on sentence there).
This specifically is the justification on which I always see people use to say it is OK to divulge in this little quirk many of us here have. I understand it is a coping mechanism; its OK to do this and this is why, but I get tired of everyone using the same "this is why". The justification of "at least we are not stress alcoholics, smokers, drug users" is a fairly legitimate reason to say its ok to do what we do, but is it really a viable justification to one on the outside of our little social niche? If your loved ones and friends suddenly gained a copy of the inner workings of your mind, would this be a viable reason for them? Would not the best path to take, when someone we cared about discovered this part of us, be to explain this is truly who we are, rather than retort with what I feel is a lame excuse of justification. If someone told me they cut themself to release stress, and use the excuse of "at least I'm not an alcoholic!", I would look at them like they were crazy that they'd even use that as a reason for what they do what they do. Look at the perspective of those around you rather than the narrow scope of your own view of the world, and a whole new spectrum of possibilities opens upon your realization of the effects of your actions and the daisy chain which extends from every action.
Sorry, this is a rant post, but I want to hear other people's thoughts on this. It is great that people outside who have these tendencies that we have are willing to come online as an alias and seek out new friends with similar interests, but is it necessary that we pat each other on the back and repeat the typical catechism to welcome them into this little corner of recognizance of the human psyche? I personally don't believe that a justification makes any thing better. In my religious life which I will not delve further than what I shall say here in a moment, an acquaintance of mine used a phrase "justification only greases the path to hell." I feel like coming to terms with ones self should not be built on a foundation of justification. It should be built upon the acceptance of one's own self and whom he or she actually is, not what they think they should be.
For those of you familiar with the Eragon book series, in the ancient language, each person had a true name. A name which could only be discovered by deep meditation and a true understanding of who they really were. This name was deeply secret upon someone acquiring the name, and the name could change if the person made a deep enough change of character, causing the old name to become invalid. The name was also a potential weapon against this person should someone find it and use it against them as it gave them absolute power over their very being. This name was often shared between the elves who had become mates (the elves in the book had a pretty deep culture, the elves became mates, not spouses. there was no ceremony of joining like marriage.). I feel like this is almost the case as with human beings. Not that we can be controlled by some magical keyword, but rather that this inner personality is something that many of us wouldn't dare expose to someone that we were not deeply affected by. We truly discover who we are by being true to ourselves and that is what I feel attracts many people to websites involving a very secret part of their life. But I feel that many err along this path directly where I am talking about. I feel that we should come to terms of self acceptance and understanding through socially aligning ourselves to others on similar psychological paths, I feel like this is very helpful, however, I do not feel like its alright to welcome someone in who is experiencing difficulties in this part of their life by telling them that at least they aren't addicted to drugs. It belittles them if I might be as bold to say! We should be happy with who we are, the vast majority of us live perfectly socially normal lives aside from our little quirk. I would say that we should come to acceptance with who we are, not who we think we are. We should come to terms that this quirk is more than likely to never go away, and I feel like that unless it comes to a point where we faced with a crossing of two worlds in which we must tell this person about our secret side, that this is something that should, if not must, be kept solely to ourselves. Pushing for ABDLism to become a social norm I feel is wrong, much as I feel other social aspects of individuals life should be. Who someone loves whether of the same sex or not, should be kept only to them and direct loved ones and friends who should know. I feel the same way of transgender individuals, for people who get abortions, for those who recreationally use marajuana. Pushing for the social normalcy of this, once again, I believe, is philosophically wrong. Who we are is our business and no one else's. The world does not need to know, only those who are close to us who have grounds for needing to know.
Thanks for reading my rant, and philosophical argument. Looking forward to the comments and counter arguments. Excuse any grammatical errors I may have made, I'm not an English major, but I do enjoy writing on topics I'm interested in.