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Thread: Tips for the ABDL who lives with parents.

  1. #1

    Post Tips for the ABDL who lives with parents.

    Tips for the ABDL who lives with parents.

    While a lot of the ab/dlís on this site are fortunate enough to own their own space, or have the people of their homeís aware of their interest, there are still a lot of people who live at home with mom and dad for whatever reason that may be. Me personally, I have been away at college for a long time. I had my own apartment I shared with a roommate and best friend, and basically could do whatever I pleased whenever I wanted to. Recently I graduated, and like a lot of people had to move back into my parents home until I am financially stable to be on my own. As you may have guessed I did not want to give up my love for diapers and baby things while being home, but as you would expect this poses a huge challenge. So here are some tips and tricks Iíve gathered to help out anyone else out there who may be in the same boat as me.

    1. Understand your needs, and accept the challenges they may pose.

    First and foremost, every adult baby and diaper lover is different. We all want different things, we all have different desires we need fulfilling, and we all want to wear diapers. Let me tell you a little about me. I am more of a diaper lover than I am an adult baby, but I still regress and use bottles and pacifiers and act like a baby sometimes too. For me I love to collect diapers, and in college I had a collection of almost 400! Obviously being at home thatís an issue. We will tackle that part later though. I use maybe 3-4 diapers a week, and do a mass order of diapers every other month. I enjoy both wetting and messing my diapers; I have no problems with the clean up. Sometimes I also enjoy wearing out to the store or occasionally out on a photo gig (I am a professional photographer.) I know what I love to do, and these are the challenges I have to overcome being at home and living with 3 other people who are constantly a part of my life and in my private environment.

    2. Figure out solutions to any challenges you may have and figure out routine

    One of the biggest things about living with parents is learning routine. No one becomes bothered when something happens routinely. Routine is key. Let me elaborate on what I mean. One of the biggest things for me is my very large collection of diapers. Like most of you, I order my diapers online. Iím not too horribly fond of Goodnites or Depends which you can get in stores. While they are part of my collection, they arenít by any means my go to diaper. So ordering at home is an issue for me. My mom is a stay at home mom, so most likely she would be the one who is there to accept the package. I wouldnít dare order them when my Dad is around to receive the package, because I know no matter what is in the box I will be questioned. You need to understand how your parents work for this to work in your favor, if ordering to your house frightens you to much, then open up a P.O. box at your local usps or ups store, that of course is more money to think about. For me, I order a lot of camera gear, and computer stuff. Routinely, they expect a package about every other week, nothing too large but not small either. When I got home, I bought the things I needed off the Internet in intervals so they would understand that whatever is coming is either computer or camera gear and after a while they wouldnít question it. So after they got that, I placed an order for two bags of Molicares. They came, my mom accepted it, and left outside my room per the norm and did not question it. Later she asked what new equipment I got, always have an answer, even if itís something you didnít get say it and they will accept it. Because of routine, I can get away with ordering them.

    3. When to wet/mess and how to dispose of them

    This is a challenge everyone is going to have. How in the world do I get rid of my used diapers? There is more than one way of dealing with this. Before I talk about disposal. Lets elaborate on usage for a moment. Most of us will use our diapers to some extent. As I said before I personally use them for both wetting and messing, but only at the right time. If I am wearing under clothes during the day when I am out and about, depending on the diaper I might wet it, because I can easily change out of it and clean up no problem. Wetting is perfectly fine mostly as long as you arenít in a small room with your family or you arenít wearing a crappy diaper that could leak. Most diapers contain the smell of urine pretty well, but messing is what is going to cause issues. You need to know when to do it, if you come from living on your own you are probably used to just being able to do it and clean it up. When youíre home, if you start smelling or taking showers at random times during the day itís going to raise eyebrows. Personally for me, I donít deal much with the clean up of messy diapers with wipes or anything like that. Some people can but I just jump in the shower and clean it all off then get back out. Going back to routine, if you normally take a shower in the morning, and youíre showing mid day, youíre parents might ask questions. Me personally, I shower in the morning, but if Iím working outside around the house all day I will shower in the evening. So if I want to mess, I mess in the morning, or if Iíve been working outside all day in the evening. No one asks questions, itís all good.

    Then there comes the disposal, this part was very tricky for me to find a solution to. Some people who are by themselves all day because their parents work have it easy. You can just take out the trash and be done with it. Me having a stay at home mom and a sister whoís off from school for summer it is rather difficult. My solution for keeping it hidden and safe is pretty simple. I keep a backpack in my closet, which I use for the disposal of diapers. I first will put the diapers in a shopping bag to decrease the smell leakage. Like I said, I use around 4 diapers a week so at the end of the week, I take my camera gear and the diaper backpack and go out like Iím going to take pictures. I take the diapers in the backpack, put them all into one small garbage bag, drive to a store or a place with a dumpster and get rid of them. Itís a bit of a hassle but there is no way for me to put them in our trash easily. If I could I would, but I do what I have to. If there is a way for you to smuggle them into your trash then do it! But for me I couldnít risk it. Messy diapers however I try to get rid of as quickly as possible, they will start to stink up your room immediately and can really cause serious issues. Thatís another reason why you should really plan out when youíre going to mess.

    4. Storage, secrecy

    One of the biggest things I see discussed here on adisc is where everyone hides their stash from their parents. Some of them are clever; some of them are begging to be caught. A lot of parents who have a kid 18+ that lives at home, generally by this point they respect your privacy enough to not go through your things. My mom likes to occasionally clean my room and organize it so this is where I have to be careful. Locks, locks, locks, locks. Things with locks are things that people canít get into. Should you put a massive chest with a four-pound master lock at the foot of your bed? No. But you should think of some clever ways to store your diapers where they can be locked and hidden in plain sight where they wonít raise suspicion. Remember before when I said I had a collection nearing 400 diapers? Now my collection is around 200, if you walked in my room, you would have no clue there were any diapers, or that I had something to hide. The way I did it is rather simple. I have a filing cabinet under my desk with a lock on it, rather then keeping important documents in there, (which I donít have many of,) I keep diapers in there instead. There are about 50 diapers in there. The rest of them I keep in two suitcases. I have a closet in my room, there is a side area that normally you canít see because jackets/coats are hanging and they cover it up. Perfect place to put two suitcases filled with hundreds of adult diapers. Both of the suitcases have locks on them; just in case anyone goes nosing around they canít get into them. Also they are there because I know my parents arenít going to ask if they see something with locks on them, they will assume whatever is in there is private and they would respect me enough to not ask. I know my parents though, donít assume you will never be called out on it, if you do, keep it cool and say private stuff. If they continue to ask tell them adult material. You should be of age to own that type of stuff and they should respect it and most likely they will not want to see it. Do not hide them anywhere in your bed, under you bed, in your drawers, where you really think people wonít look. If your parents never go in your closet, donít just proudly display them in your closet because one day they might need something from you and look in there. Find a way to hide them in plain sight, find a thing that wonít look out of the ordinary for your space and can only be accessed by yourself. One last thing, donít over due it. Buy what you can hide, donít buy excess diapers or abdl supplies that you canít store immediately.

    Well, that about concludes my tips. I hope this helps at least a few people out there. Please feel free to add your own tips I may have missed below. I canít be the only one who had to figure out a whole new way to live my life after moving back home with my parents. Keep calm and diaper on people. -MrNy

  2. #2


    Whoever gave this positive rep and left me a nice comment thank you so much .

  3. #3


    Good info about routine and not ordering too-large parcels. I would add turning the wrappers inside-out when discarding evidence. Insides of old electronics (TVs, stereos) are places nobody has any reason to look

  4. #4


    I'm pretty torn on the idea of locking things up in suitcases and such while living with one's parents. If your parents are the snooping type, their inability to open a suitcase, drawer, etc., is only going to amplify their curiosity or concern. You really have to get choosy with the sorts of things you lock, not so much to reduce the chances your parents will find them and/or see the locks, but rather to increase the chances that, if they do find them, the locked-ness will be no surprise -- the trunk of your car, for instance (if you have one).

    The only things my parents ever had locked up inside of their own house were guns. If I'd locked anything of my own, while it might not have been immediately discovered and questioned, its eventual discovery would have generated a great deal of suspicion. Locking things up inside the house was just not normal.

    Honestly, if I was an adult living with my parents, I'd make a modest effort to keep my diapers hidden and then I'd throw an apologetic note on top explaining that I have a diaper fetish, that it's something I've had for as long as I can remember, that I've kept it a secret for fear of ridicule, and that I'm content to go on keeping it to myself if they'll grant me the privacy to do so. I'm completely serious.

  5. #5


    Decently laid out suggestions. I might suggest those trying to mask scents (Short term only) to put a tablespoon or so of baking soda (Bicarbonate of Sodium in some locales) into their diapers right before disposal. This will help mask the scent for a while (Fully up to about 3 days, mostly for about a week. Past that, YMMV).

    My best hiding place for such items when I was younger was in a opaque plastic bin (Rubbermaid Roughneck I think?) underneath a layer of spare sheets for my bed.

  6. #6


    Thank you the feedback! All of those are valid points that I will try and re work into the article. .

  7. #7


    I keep a few boxes, mostly from electronics and model aircraft/trains under my bed and in my wardrobe. I keep some of my diapers under my bed in a box along with a few other things I like to keep private and keep the rest up the top of my wardrobe behind the rest of the boxes. Some of the boxes have stuff in them so there would be no talk of me throwing them out or any need for anyone to look in/at them.

    I sometimes sneak my used ones out to the wheely bin at night when I'm the last one up, or because I usually relocate down to a relatives house for most of the week to go to uni I put them in a bag in my clothes bag and drop them in the bin as I'm putting my stuff in my car.

    If I want to order stuff online I have to wait until the rest of my family goes on holiday and I'm home for uni or work, unfortunately that doesn't happen much.

  8. #8


    My shower has a removable drainplug so I can simply wash the gel down that. Storage is taken care of via a suspended tile ceiling. Ziplock bags and ice-cream containers for removal of plastic backing. Works a treat. Ordering is a no-go. I NEVER get packages.

  9. #9


    My bedroom was in my parent's attic. It was a finished Cape Cod house attic, and there were closets that ran the length of the roof. That inner part included the insulation, so I would put my diapers under that. That lasted for years until I had my psychotic break and my mom tore my room apart, probably expecting to find drugs. She got a different kind of surprise. Sadly, so did I.

  10. #10


    Thanks for the article, MrNy. I don't live with my parents. If anything it's closer to my being the parent. For the past 14 years I've always had 3-5 housemates, so I have to be careful in a lot of ways, many of them similar to what you wrote just from a different angle.

    The huge factor that make my diapered life easier are that I have my own bedroom and bathroom, and nobody else ever goes in there and I keep it locked. The thing that makes it harder is that my current housemates are all between 20-23 years old and often unpredictable in their habits. Like coming home at 3:00 am and wanting to do laundry. Or picking up an extra shift and getting up five hours earlier than usual. And of course bringing home random companions for the night. So I try not to assume anything about who will be around. If I leave my room it's showtime.

    Traditionally, then, the main concern is how to bring packages in the house and how to throw away diapers or occasionally do laundry. For the past couple of months, though, I've been wearing every day for 20-24 hours so I've had to work a lot on how to do this without being noticed. For one I no longer ever do diaper-related laundry in the house. Even with finding a time of the day when I thought nobody would be around, and setting multiple alarms to make sure I never left anything in the washer or dryer, I still had a few close calls. Now I just go to the laundromat once a week. One nice side effect of this approach is that I've been able to use diapers and covers with more interesting colors or patterns and not have to worry about somebody spotting them.

    I have an account at a mailbox place, so that gives me a chance to open up and repackage things and sneak them into the house on my schedule. Also this is a defense against something arriving in an obvious box or with a suspicious return address, or being left for a neighbor, or a housemate opening it because they were expecting a package that day and didn't bother to check. And a hundred other things going wrong that I haven't thought of. Oh, yeah, how about a damaged box with the contents visible or spilling out?

    I make sure there are no smells emanating from my room. Well, I try to make sure the smells aren't too bad inside the room, but my main concern is discovery. I have an assortment of air fresheners and air filters, but the first line of defense is just to take care of things as early as possible. I take Nullo twice a day. I rinse pee out of cloth diapers before putting them in the pail. Baking soda in the pail, and the pail itself has an air-tight screw-on lid. Cloth diapers are always washed within 2-3 days so with my once-a-week laundry schedule it means cloth is only an option for part of the week. Disposables go in two kitchen bags (not shopping bags), then in a Hefty-style garbage bag, then another one of those screw-lid pails. I'm not saying every diaper gets several bags because they share, but at any given time you would find three layers of bag and then the pail between a used diaper and the room.

    With this routine if I ever walk into my room an notice an odor it's because of something stupid like I took off a diaper and just left it sitting there hours before because I got distracted.

    If I've been engaged in any AB/DL activity, which these days means 100% of the time, before I leave the room I stop and look in the mirror and think about whether there is anything I'm wearing that is visible, that smells, that makes too much noise. Do I have a pacifier in my mouth that I've completely forgotten is there? Some of you know exactly what I mean here. Is there anything that will be visible in the room when I open the door if someone happens to be standing right there?

    This may sound like a stressful way to live but you get in the habit and it's not a big deal. And it doesn't mean that I can't leave my room in a AB/DL state. Most of the time when I'm hanging out in the rest of the house or out in the world I'm wearing a diaper (typically wet to some degree), and a onesie, and sometimes a toddler-style harness. Lately I've been living this life more fully than ever before, and these are just a few things I have to do to take care of business and make this life possible.

    Like you I try to get rid of disposables as soon as I can. If I'm going to a store or gas station that I know has an outside bin that gets emptied frequently, I'll make sure I have something in my car to toss in. Then I go in and spend money there.

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