Page 1 of 7 12345 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 61

Thread: Questions about the ab/dl community in general

  1. #1

    Default Questions about the ab/dl community in general

    So, about three years ago, I became a regular contributor to this site. I was branching out to other sites like Fetlife and even Facebook (on an alternate, non-my-name account), just trying to get out there and meet people. I was already kind of put off by numerous aspects of the lifestyle, like how even though I know I'm a (mostly) normal, functioning person, ab/dl seems to attract a LOT of...mentally ill people, I guess? I don't know. People with no boundaries, no social tact, and probable personality disorders.

    Now, I've met a lot of cool people on-line and in person. Don't get me wrong. This isn't a gripe post, per se. It just seems to me that the second people find out I have an ab/dl wife, they get WEIRD. Like, when she made an account for fetlife, and was barraged with weirdo posts like "do u poop in ur dipers?" and such. These are, mind you, the first words these people have SPOKEN to my wife. Like...what in the FUCK?

    It didn't get DISTURBING until I logged into our "joint" Facebook account on my phone. Facebook has (or maybe had) the WONDERFUL default setting that once you log in on your phone, they just go ahead and display your phone number. Thanks a bunch.

    It was maybe a few hours after I logged in, and this fucking...weird...ASSHOLE starts texting me asking all kinds of fucking questions. The funny thing is, I found a cool couple on Fetlife the day before and had just given them my phone number, so I thought it was THEM. When they texted me a few hours later, I was completely dumbstruck. Who the fuck was the other guy, then?

    Well, he was just SOME GUY from Facebook that was a member of a group we'd joined. Like...huh? You just FIND someone's phone number, start asking all these fucking questions...I felt completely fucking violated. It completely changed my view of and how I deal with internet perversion. I find myself MUCH less open to communication, and rather...intolerant where it comes to people's peccadilloes and quirks on-line. I shut down Facebook, and mostly stopped posting here and on Fetlife because of it.

    I don't think I'm looking for a solution necessarily, but I'm just wondering...does anyone else get tired of people's shit on-line? Ab/dl's in particular have the capability of being the sweetest people, and a lot of them are just weirdos. I'm sure anyone who's reading this is GREAT, of course, but...what the fuck about THEM? lol

  2. #2

    Default

    Good post, and good point. Many people need to learn tact and boundaries. I to have an alter ego on Facebook, and am very careful to make sure there is no personal information on it. If all the people I knew from high school knew,
    Don't get me wrong, I'm half a century old, AB/DL has been a part of my being for over 45 years. Some times I get a little carried away when the bug bites real hard... But boundaries are boundaries. Sorry you got caught up with a few wierdos, and yep, they are out there... But wierdos like many people that dont respect the bounderies of others, cross many more lifestyles, not just AB/DL.

  3. #3

    Default

    Anonymity tends to bring out the worst in people, people who are only constrained in public due to reactions to their actions won't feel so restrained. When you throw in a desire for something like regression or a diaper fetish it's natural that some of those without that restraint will be shockingly forward in acting out the dark recesses of their desires. This is why I keep my various identities completely separated, if need be I can block the offender or burn the identity if someone is too persistent to be worth the trouble of blocking out. I don't want to remove parts of who I am because of people pushing things too far.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Rheeer View Post
    So, about three years ago, I became a regular contributor to this site. I was branching out to other sites like Fetlife and even Facebook (on an alternate, non-my-name account), just trying to get out there and meet people. I was already kind of put off by numerous aspects of the lifestyle, like how even though I know I'm a (mostly) normal, functioning person, ab/dl seems to attract a LOT of...mentally ill people, I guess? I don't know. People with no boundaries, no social tact, and probable personality disorders.

    Now, I've met a lot of cool people on-line and in person. Don't get me wrong. This isn't a gripe post, per se. It just seems to me that the second people find out I have an ab/dl wife, they get WEIRD. Like, when she made an account for fetlife, and was barraged with weirdo posts like "do u poop in ur dipers?" and such. These are, mind you, the first words these people have SPOKEN to my wife. Like...what in the FUCK?

    It didn't get DISTURBING until I logged into our "joint" Facebook account on my phone. Facebook has (or maybe had) the WONDERFUL default setting that once you log in on your phone, they just go ahead and display your phone number. Thanks a bunch.

    It was maybe a few hours after I logged in, and this fucking...weird...ASSHOLE starts texting me asking all kinds of fucking questions. The funny thing is, I found a cool couple on Fetlife the day before and had just given them my phone number, so I thought it was THEM. When they texted me a few hours later, I was completely dumbstruck. Who the fuck was the other guy, then?

    Well, he was just SOME GUY from Facebook that was a member of a group we'd joined. Like...huh? You just FIND someone's phone number, start asking all these fucking questions...I felt completely fucking violated. It completely changed my view of and how I deal with internet perversion. I find myself MUCH less open to communication, and rather...intolerant where it comes to people's peccadilloes and quirks on-line. I shut down Facebook, and mostly stopped posting here and on Fetlife because of it.

    I don't think I'm looking for a solution necessarily, but I'm just wondering...does anyone else get tired of people's shit on-line? Ab/dl's in particular have the capability of being the sweetest people, and a lot of them are just weirdos. I'm sure anyone who's reading this is GREAT, of course, but...what the fuck about THEM? lol
    HIYAA Rheeer! I honestly don't know what say about those people><. It seems kind of weird to say that to a person through via text would have been nice if they said something like "hello" or "how are you" instead of well you know. My suggestion is that you maybe don't post you phone number because you never know what kind of person you could meet or chat with. You know as a precaution. There are a lot of people to be trusted on internet and on the contrary there are a lot NOT to be trusted.

    I once made a separate account for myself on MySpace and what do you know a weird person starts chatting if I wanted to meet and well "DO" stuff ( stuff I obviously don't want to mention) with him ( note this was made as a Adult Baby account). After a while of meeting some good and some weird and bad and some plainly not right in the head, I ended up deleting my account.

    Just be careful what you do and best wishes to you.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Rheeer View Post
    ...though I know I'm a (mostly) normal, functioning person, ab/dl seems to attract a LOT of...mentally ill people, I guess? I don't know. People with no boundaries, no social tact, and probable personality disorders.
    ...
    I don't think I'm looking for a solution necessarily, but I'm just wondering...does anyone else get tired of people's shit on-line? Ab/dl's in particular have the capability of being the sweetest people, and a lot of them are just weirdos. I'm sure anyone who's reading this is GREAT, of course, but...what the fuck about THEM? lol
    I think you should re-think the "mentally ill" comment - there are a lot of mental illnesses (& if the DSM V is accepted there's going to be a whole lot more) very few of them have asking about the state of people's diapers as a major symptom.

    There are some people (I imagine they're frustrated and lonely people, but you never know) who seem to get off on asking inappropriate sexual questions, and this is not restricted to ABDL guys. If you look up the Everyday Sexism project you can see all kinds of stories by women who get sexually harassed both on the net and off-line - I doubt many of those guys are ABDL or have any particular "illness" as such.

    I think this problem is exacerbated by the internet though -
    1) you can be (fairly) anonymous, so no effect on your reputation
    2) you can't see the victim, so you don't have to look into their eyes when you say this stuff (though sadly for some that might be even more of a turn on) and
    3) the whole way we think about "the internet" as though it was some Narnia behind our computer screen, rather than an extension of the real world, means that it's easier to regard the people on it as nothing but computer sprites you are free to manipulate without real consequences, rather than REAL people.

    So I think the lesson I draw is: if sexual harassment gets you off, you need to stop, recognise the hurt to other people, and maybe find a way of developing a more healthy sexuality - or failing that, jerk off over a video of some fake harassment performed by consenting actors.

  6. #6

    Default

    Well, the point is taken on not posting my phone number, but it was auto-posted by Facebook and their wonderful privacy settings. Quite a feature, that one.

    Also, completely agreed, ABFox. There are weirdos in EVERY lifestyle, not just ab/dl. I was just getting out and mixing with ab/dls, so that's the particular experience I had.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by MsClaraRiddle View Post
    I think you should re-think the "mentally ill" comment - there are a lot of mental illnesses (& if the DSM V is accepted there's going to be a whole lot more) very few of them have asking about the state of people's diapers as a major symptom.

    There are some people (I imagine they're frustrated and lonely people, but you never know) who seem to get off on asking inappropriate sexual questions, and this is not restricted to ABDL guys. If you look up the Everyday Sexism project you can see all kinds of stories by women who get sexually harassed both on the net and off-line - I doubt many of those guys are ABDL or have any particular "illness" as such.

    I think this problem is exacerbated by the internet though -
    1) you can be (fairly) anonymous, so no effect on your reputation
    2) you can't see the victim, so you don't have to look into their eyes when you say this stuff (though sadly for some that might be even more of a turn on) and
    3) the whole way we think about "the internet" as though it was some Narnia behind our computer screen, rather than an extension of the real world, means that it's easier to regard the people on it as nothing but computer sprites you are free to manipulate without real consequences, rather than REAL people.

    So I think the lesson I draw is: if sexual harassment gets you off, you need to stop, recognise the hurt to other people, and maybe find a way of developing a more healthy sexuality - or failing that, jerk off over a video of some fake harassment performed by consenting actors.
    I appreciate the offer, but I won't be re-thinking my "mental illness" statement.

    I never said that wearing diapers was a symptom, just that the lifestyle seemed to attract a lot of people with EXISTING issues. If you want my opinion of why that is, I would tend to say that the regression the lifestyle offers allows people to be helpless and avoid taking responsibility for their illness. A LOT of steps can be taken to improve one's life regarding mental illness; if you just sit around your house in a diaper watching cartoons, that's a great way to avoid life.

    Now. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE that aspect of the lifestyle. There's nothing better than putting on a diaper after a long day of work and unwinding. I guess it's a matter of priority. One before the other. -grin-

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Rheeer View Post
    Well, the point is taken on not posting my phone number, but it was auto-posted by Facebook and their wonderful privacy settings. Quite a feature, that one.

    Also, completely agreed, ABFox. There are weirdos in EVERY lifestyle, not just ab/dl. I was just getting out and mixing with ab/dls, so that's the particular experience I had.

    - - - Updated - - -



    I appreciate the offer, but I won't be re-thinking my "mental illness" statement.

    I never said that wearing diapers was a symptom, just that the lifestyle seemed to attract a lot of people with EXISTING issues. If you want my opinion of why that is, I would tend to say that the regression the lifestyle offers allows people to be helpless and avoid taking responsibility for their illness. A LOT of steps can be taken to improve one's life regarding mental illness; if you just sit around your house in a diaper watching cartoons, that's a great way to avoid life.

    Now. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE that aspect of the lifestyle. There's nothing better than putting on a diaper after a long day of work and unwinding. I guess it's a matter of priority. One before the other. -grin-
    Which "mental illness" is it that you think the people who are harassing you have, exactly?

    Sexual harassment is not something that's caused by mental illness (unless the urge to sexually harass people is itself a mental illness) it's caused by people wanting to get off that way, and being enabled to do that.

    You assume the people who do this kind of harassment are lifestyle ABies, but how can you know that? Possibly in some cases, but all or even most?

  8. #8

    Default

    Even someone who has a fetish for sexually harassing people has a personality disorder. (Borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, etc.) The harassment is usually a symptom of the larger issue.

    Also, tell me where I said that the people who do this kind of harassment are specifically abies? I mean, it WAS an aby in my case, but I never said that ONLY abies do that.

    If you don't stop misreading my posts and then blindly making quotes for things I didn't say, we can't have this conversation. I'm placing that boundary.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Rheeer View Post
    Even someone who has a fetish for sexually harassing people has a personality disorder.

    Also, tell me where I said that the people who do this kind of harassment are specifically abies? I mean, it WAS an aby in my case, but I never said that ONLY abies do that.

    If you don't stop misreading my posts and then blindly making quotes for things I didn't say, we can't have this conversation. I'm placing that boundary.
    The important word in my reply was lifestyle ABies - not ABies. That was a response to this



    I never said that wearing diapers was a symptom, just that the lifestyle seemed to attract a lot of people with EXISTING issues. If you want my opinion of why that is, I would tend to say that the regression the lifestyle offers allows people to be helpless and avoid taking responsibility for their illness. A LOT of steps can be taken to improve one's life regarding mental illness; if you just sit around your house in a diaper watching cartoons, that's a great way to avoid life.
    where you juxtaposed regression the lifestyle vs. regression as a small part of a "normal" life. I'm saying, you have no way of knowing that person isn't integrating their sexual harassment into a normal working life, who knows, even wife and kids.

    You throw around terms like "personality disorder" and "mental illness" but there's no need to medicalise this stuff: people can be dicks without being sick.

  10. #10

    Default

    If I imagine it from another person's perspective, what I see is:

    1. Person joins a lot of sexual fetish groups to talk about, well, sexual fetish with other people.
    2. Person sees that someone just posted their phone number. They think; "Wow this person REALLY wants to talk about it! FUN! I'm texting them!"

    They don't know you posted your cell phone number by accident. They don't know what your standards are when you joined groups to discuss a sexual fetish. All they know is that you're both presumably into the same thing and you gave out your number.

Similar Threads

  1. Just a general hello.
    By Toppy in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 14-Jan-2013, 15:42
  2. DRM in general
    By Chimera in forum Computers & Gaming
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 22-Mar-2011, 21:12
  3. A general rant.
    By dby1990 in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-Aug-2010, 16:33
  4. A new HDD and some general computer questions
    By mizzycub in forum Computers & Gaming
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 29-Aug-2009, 09:54
  5. General Delivery Nit-picky Questions
    By Kovy in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 15-May-2009, 16:27

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.