Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Oh look, it's that thread again. Any tips for how my fiancee can be more involved?

  1. #1

    Question Oh look, it's that thread again. Any tips for how my fiancee can be more involved?

    So, my fiancee has known about diapers basically as long as we've been dating. We started dating in 2004, and I told her six months in. She had some issues adjusting to the thought of me wearing diapers, but once she'd gotten some exposure to me wearing a diaper she came around really quickly. Now it's hardly a big deal at all. When it's just her and me around the apartment, she's completely fine with me wearing just a diaper around given a few basic considerations that I would make anyway- not wearing it until it explodes or reeks, not leaking on the furniture, etc.

    We live a long way apart and only see each other five or six times a year. Given that our visits are well-separated, when we're together we do a lot of talking about our sex life- what we're doing, how we like what we're doing, what we'd like to try, stuff like that. While this isn't sexual per se, it's closely related enough that it's always in that context. The last few times we've talked, I've expressed that I'd like to get more into DL around her and with her participation, and she's reacted positively to this too. However, the big issue is that neither of us knows how to do that.

    Well, scratch that. It's less that we (I) don't know how and more that we're having issues doing it. Research shows that men are more likely than women to have a fetish, but women have a much stronger propensity than men to pick up something because their partner's into it. And I've seen that happening- she tells me that she loves doing these things for me because she sees how happy they make me. But we're hitting a wall in that she has a major adversity to being unclean. Like, huge- I've known her apartment being messy to drag down her mood significantly. Used diapers? That's a major issue in this regard. She even comes up with some crazy awesome ideas when we're having pillow talk, but also says during non-pillow time that she'd have comfort issues actually doing said things.

    I know that the main solution is to go slow, but that's not the issue. It's been years since we've made any type of progress in this regard. We're at zero miles an hour. I'm trying to look for low-impact ways of ramping things up. She really likes diapering me and does that whenever I ask. She's changed me once or twice in the past and enjoyed it, but I also know that she'll only enjoy it if she's in the right mood- and considering I don't wear terribly often, that's not really something that ever averaged out with time. Baby items (bottles, rattles, etc) are also out- I'm much more AB than DL, and she's significantly less comfortable with AB than with DL. The only think I can think of is to try to wear diapers around her significantly more. I would estimate that when we were living together, I might not wear diapers for months at a time. Perhaps more exposure in quantity rather than content is the best thing to do.

    We've been talking about these kinds of things recently since we have a visit coming up, and I'd like to bring this up. Any ideas you fine folks could give me would be much appreciated. =D

  2. #2

    Default

    Hmm....Well you have quite a bit of options regarding this, and what approach you can take given what you said.



    Quote Originally Posted by AEsahaettr
    The last few times we've talked, I've expressed that I'd like to get more into DL around her and with her participation, and she's reacted positively to this too. However, the big issue is that neither of us knows how to do that.

    ..............................

    ....she tells me that she loves doing these things for me because she sees how happy they make me. But we're hitting a wall in that she has a major adversity to being unclean. Like, huge- I've known her apartment being messy to drag down her mood significantly. Used diapers? That's a major issue in this regard.
    Well here's the cliche' "sometimes you have to accept your partner can't do some things." My partner is willing to change wet diapers...only after becoming more acclimatized to playtime with them as we have not involved them too much. Messy diapers are out the question which is perfectly reasonable. Like you mentioned, it's very possible your partner might warm up to it to a fair degree, or they won't. I'm not sure what other "DL" activities you're referring to exactly beyond general dirty diaper changing.

    Of course you could always simulate it if you're looking for a messy change experience. You can always have some mutual giggles pouring warm oatmeal in it. Same dealio with water for a wet experience.



    Baby items (bottles, rattles, etc) are also out- I'm much more AB than DL, and she's significantly less comfortable with AB than with DL. The only think I can think of is to try to wear diapers around her significantly more. I would estimate that when we were living together, I might not wear diapers for months at a time. Perhaps more exposure in quantity rather than content is the best thing to do.
    I'd have a conversation about why she's uncomfortable with AB activities but not the diapers. Also, AB activities can vary along with their meaning. BDSM can work very well incorporating AB items into a more adult atmosphere she's familiar with. If she enjoys dominating, it would play pretty well there as well. Couple of ideas with that:

    1) Restrained in a makeshift high chair, diaper and bib in all, and she can feed you a regular home cooked meal.

    2) Forced wetting. Pacifer gag.

    OR without a domineering atmosphere

    1) ...you can add more cuddle time on the couch and watch old kid's movies you both remember. You can do so with AB items, introducing them one at a time if you want and see her reaction.

    2) Have a small thing like being held over her shoulder (sitting down) and being patted on the back.

    3) Bottlefed a drink. If you want to make it more "adult" (urgo her more comfortable) have her make you a mixed drink and put that in it. Spiced warm wine isn't bad. I always find drinking something warm from a bottle better than something cold. It's a comfort thing.

    There's a lot of different avenues you can take. That's as PG-13 as I can get with these suggestions. I hope that's what you are looking for.

    Also modifying some baby items such as bibs can be easy to fit adults.
    Last edited by Geno; 26-Jun-2013 at 02:49. Reason: do you speak English in What?

  3. #3

    Default

    With you other half's aversion to anything "unclean"... is there any way you could get her to wear a diaper with you, with neither of you actually using it? It might be a "gentle" way for her to get used to the idea of diapers. Could you treat her to a night of pampering and regression...? If she's up for it, give her a bath and a massage, change her into a diaper, watch a film or read her a bedtime stories... (or maybe not if the AB thing freaks her out... I dunno!)

    Maybe if she can understand things from your point of view, she'll find it easier to just think of diapers as an "attachment object" rather than a sense of disgust...?

    I'd worry that, if she's not fully comfortable with the cleanliness/AB-ness of diapers, just wearing around her more often might increase a minor irritation that she can ignore into something that really starts to annoy her... But you know her better than us! :-)

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Geno View Post
    You can always have some mutual giggles pouring warm oatmeal in it. Vice versa for a wet experience.
    Whhaaaat?! For a "wet experience" you can have some mutual oatmeal by pouring giggles in it?!

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    Whhaaaat?! For a "wet experience" you can have some mutual oatmeal by pouring giggles in it?!
    Sometimes I wonder how I got this job, always messing up my posts. Xp. But that was by far the funniest thing I've inadvertently wrote.
    Last edited by Geno; 26-Jun-2013 at 04:44.

Similar Threads

  1. Your Hair questions, care, tips & tricks thread!!
    By Robin in forum Sissy / Girls
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 16-Feb-2012, 06:12
  2. My fiancee and me.
    By DaniZerollis in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-May-2011, 04:20
  3. My fiancee wants me to go with her to MN this winter...
    By dragsnick in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 08-Nov-2010, 12:41
  4. So... Should I go party without my fiancee?
    By dragsnick in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 25-Sep-2010, 15:04

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.