So, my fiancee has known about diapers basically as long as we've been dating. We started dating in 2004, and I told her six months in. She had some issues adjusting to the thought of me wearing diapers, but once she'd gotten some exposure to me wearing a diaper she came around really quickly. Now it's hardly a big deal at all. When it's just her and me around the apartment, she's completely fine with me wearing just a diaper around given a few basic considerations that I would make anyway- not wearing it until it explodes or reeks, not leaking on the furniture, etc.
We live a long way apart and only see each other five or six times a year. Given that our visits are well-separated, when we're together we do a lot of talking about our sex life- what we're doing, how we like what we're doing, what we'd like to try, stuff like that. While this isn't sexual per se, it's closely related enough that it's always in that context. The last few times we've talked, I've expressed that I'd like to get more into DL around her and with her participation, and she's reacted positively to this too. However, the big issue is that neither of us knows how to do that.
Well, scratch that. It's less that we (I) don't know how and more that we're having issues doing it. Research shows that men are more likely than women to have a fetish, but women have a much stronger propensity than men to pick up something because their partner's into it. And I've seen that happening- she tells me that she loves doing these things for me because she sees how happy they make me. But we're hitting a wall in that she has a major adversity to being unclean. Like, huge- I've known her apartment being messy to drag down her mood significantly. Used diapers? That's a major issue in this regard. She even comes up with some crazy awesome ideas when we're having pillow talk, but also says during non-pillow time that she'd have comfort issues actually doing said things.
I know that the main solution is to go slow, but that's not the issue. It's been years since we've made any type of progress in this regard. We're at zero miles an hour. I'm trying to look for low-impact ways of ramping things up. She really likes diapering me and does that whenever I ask. She's changed me once or twice in the past and enjoyed it, but I also know that she'll only enjoy it if she's in the right mood- and considering I don't wear terribly often, that's not really something that ever averaged out with time. Baby items (bottles, rattles, etc) are also out- I'm much more AB than DL, and she's significantly less comfortable with AB than with DL. The only think I can think of is to try to wear diapers around her significantly more. I would estimate that when we were living together, I might not wear diapers for months at a time. Perhaps more exposure in quantity rather than content is the best thing to do.
We've been talking about these kinds of things recently since we have a visit coming up, and I'd like to bring this up. Any ideas you fine folks could give me would be much appreciated. =D