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Thread: AB/DL & a parent?

  1. #1

    Question AB/DL & a parent?

    My wife and I aren't yet parents, but its on the roadmap. I'd like to know if any of us are at least a DL with kids in the house and what challenges you face.

    I'm very open with my wife about being an AB/DL (though 95% DL, so that I imagine makes things easier) and she supports it. I had told her about it as we started dating, so it's nothing new to her and we have an understanding of it being in moderation which for us it works well.

    We haven't yet discussed what will happen to that understanding when we start having kids. I'm eager to hear of your experiences and choices or if you have any questions for me.

    I don't post much, but it's always comforting just knowing that this community is here when it's needed. Thank you for that.

  2. #2

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    To start my wife was unaware before we had our child. Afterwards, I was so focused on raising her that I did not wear for almost two years. It changes your life. The feelings did return, as usual and that is when I told my wife. As far as having a child and wanting to wear. I seem to have the ability to compartmentalize my feelings. When I am with my daughter, I am a father first. When she is away, I play.

    The diaper years of my child were weird. Until my daughter was potty trained, I was not a fan of diaper changes or even dealing with diapers. They were a nuisance. After she was trained, my feelings of fondness for them returned. It was almost like a switch was turned off for my DL life so I would not have any conflicts of interest, so to speak.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkz View Post
    My wife and I aren't yet parents, but its on the roadmap. I'd like to know if any of us are at least a DL with kids in the house and what challenges you face.
    First of all, rest assured, you are not the only one who has experienced this and asked yourself these questions. When I first found out I was going to become a parent, I wondered about this, but in all actuality, it turned out to be no big deal.

    I can't really explain it, but there was no connection towards my own interest in wearing diapers and the chore of having "diaper duty" for my kids. When I had to take care of my own children in taking care of changing responsibilities, I found it an unpleasant chore that I tried to get out of whenever possible. There was a real separation from my own interests in this and the responsibility of caring for my kids. When taking care of them, I really never thought about my own interest in diapers. It just never occurred to me.

    Prior to becoming a parent, I really never liked babies. I mean I really didn't like them. Even though I had AB/DL feelings myself, I thought real babies were kind of gross. I mean they spit up, slobber, have stinky diapers, etc. I was really worried about how I could ever deal with this being a parent.

    However, when I had my own kids, I found that all of this really didn't matter. I instantly had a bond with them that all I really cared about was how to take care of them and help them in their lives. My own interests seemed to fade and I found the most happiness in seeing them grow and achieve things in their lives.

    I suppose that to some these comments sound kind of corny, but they are true. I think that becoming a parent changes your life in a manner where you see a much bigger picture than thinking mostly about yourself. The happiness you realize in life doesn't come from just your own accomplishments, but by your children who in reality are an extension of yourself.

    As far as the diaper interests go, I continued to have my own interests in these through the entire stages of being a parent. But this interest was always separate.

    Well, I hope that sharing these experience may help you. Don't worry, I am sure you will do fine. Being a parent is the best thing I have ever done. I have experienced some amazing things in my life, but nothing compares to this! During both the good and the bad (and there are some really hard times), I am so happy to have made this decision in life.

  4. #4

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    My girlfriend and I had a baby 9 months ago so it hasn't become a problem yet. I won't for a year or two, but I'm wondering the same thing.

  5. #5

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    i second the notion that it won't matter in the least. the only crossovers between my dl nature and being a parent are: (1) missing the days when i could take one of my kids into the family bathroom for a diaper change, and change mine too without being "caught" or even remembered :-) my girls are 5 and 7 now, and it's never been an issue. and (2) feeling like a complete hypocrite when one of my girls has had a nighttime accident not due to an ongoing problem but due to complete obvious laziness like not going pee before going to bed. i grumble and gripe about how i don't want to clean up messes they don't have to create... but a little part of me is jealous! being a dad is awesome every day.

  6. #6
    toujoursbb

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    I have been a father now since 20 years, a subconscious ABDL since some 40y+ ago, a happy and conscious ABDL since about year 2000 when internet introduced me then to DPF (Diaper Pail Friend with Tommy). My grown up kids seem to live normal young adult lives and to have received very appropriate love, affection, and education from their father, me. Never lost sight of my responsabilities though I could enjoy my secret dreams and life in my moments. Please, do not be too worried about adulthood and parental responsabilities. I think that most ABDLs can manage, like anybody. Perhaps better? Keeping private what needs to be private is important and sometimes a big challenge. Nurturing the unavoidable ABDL underground reality is also important for happiness and mental balance.

  7. #7

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    I guess that was my deeper question; if you're a DL and a parent, should you hide it?

    I have a co-worker who is IC post accident and he has kids who are well adapted but, do we as a community feel that DL is different and should be hidden from our kids, especially if we don't hide it from our partners? That's an honest question I think.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkz View Post
    I guess that was my deeper question; if you're a DL and a parent, should you hide it?

    I have a co-worker who is IC post accident and he has kids who are well adapted but, do we as a community feel that DL is different and should be hidden from our kids, especially if we don't hide it from our partners? That's an honest question I think.
    I'm not a parent but I don't see myself wanting to share anything ABDL with children if I had them. If I were incontinent, it would be completely different. I'll just knock wood that will never be the case.

  9. #9

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    My boyfriend and I have discussed it in length. We both came to the conclusion that when we have kids that he doesn't need to stop these activities but he will have to keep them away from the kids. This isn't because it's bad or anything of the sort, but, rather the fact that we both agreed it could be problematic when issues like learning how to use the toilet came up when dad is in a diaper. Another one was the fact that prolonged sucking on a pacifier or thumb can cause a child's teeth to grow wrong; it would be awfully hard to train a child not to use their pacifier if their dad is sitting right there doing it. With this in mind and the fact that we both enjoy his ABDL side we decided that at that point it will become something that comes out to play after children are asleep or out of sight just to avoid the confusion.

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