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Thread: How different are we really?

  1. #1

    Default How different are we really?

    Since I started going to meetings with other AB's like me, I've met a lot of people, some of whom I actually befriended. Inevitably, as you become closer, you start to discuss personal stuff, what keeps you occupied, et cetera. You already know each other's deepest and most relevant secret, so that opens up the possibilities to discuss how we ended up like this...

    Today I posted in another thread (a story thread, so it was kinda offtopic) that I have noticed how emotionally unstable the average AB actually is. We're an odd bunch, probably more likely to be autistic, to develop psychiatric disorders including, but not limited to, depression, and more likely to have other kinks or deviant 'hobbies'. That's not surprising; there had to be a reason why we are into diapers and stuff like that. It's not something you were born with and for many people I've met a specific traumatic event can be linked with their paraphilia. This is not the case with me, and I'm not completely sure whether that's a good thing or not. But I digress.

    Now don't get me wrong, I have met some pretty awesome people in the AB/DL scene and wouldn't want to miss them for the world. But like me, most of them are also kind of awkward and unstable, and have trouble fitting in with the rest of the world. If I compare them with the other friends I have... my friends outside of the scene are generally just so much more 'normal' in every way.

    Since my mother found out again about me being an AB, and claiming once more that I have some kind of psychological disease despite the fact that she should know better, my self-acceptance has declined somewhat. I don't think it's wrong what we do, I'm pretty sure it's almost inevitable, and at the very least the most healthy thing to do considering we have these feelings... But stuff like this, along with the acknowledgement that most of us have a lot of issues... I mean, we would be weird even if we weren't into AB/DL stuff.

    On the other hand, I have reminded myself before that boatloads of people get tired and frustrated by adult life from time to time. Some of the most mature people I know have said at times that they would like to be a child without responsibilities again. So in that respect, we're not all that different and we just take it a bit further than most people.

    Also, there's the fact that I don't know as much personal stuff from most friends outside of the AB/DL scene. I mean, they may very well be even more f**ed up inside, without the outside world ever knowing. Who knows...

    So yeah. How different are we really from 'normal' people?

  2. #2

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    I don't think we are any different from other people no matter what anybody else says. Yes what we do is odd but we have this misperceived generalization about us that is unfortunately negative. I actually know a guy who has a legitimate hatred towards AB's.
    We are no different from "normal" people and what we like to do on our own time is nobody's business anyway.

  3. #3

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    I don't really care too much what other people say, honestly... I mean, yeah, it's nice that my 'normal' friends accept this part of me and it sucks that my mother doesn't, but that wasn't really my point, to be honest.

    What we do is symptomatic. It's clearly not a disease in and of itself and there are no real moral problems with acting like a little child for fun... but it may be a red flag in some sense. I spend a lot of time wondering why I am this way, and what I have in common with other AB's. I don't mind the fact that I love diapers and regression, but I dislike the fact that I'm so insecure and unstable and feel so different from other people and have less than stellar social skills. I have noticed that most other AB's I know struggle with similar issues and I wonder if 'normal' people do that too. Or is it really just us?

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Albasion View Post
    I don't really care too much what other people say, honestly... I mean, yeah, it's nice that my 'normal' friends accept this part of me and it sucks that my mother doesn't, but that wasn't really my point, to be honest.

    What we do is symptomatic. It's clearly not a disease in and of itself and there are no real moral problems with acting like a little child for fun... but it may be a red flag in some sense. I spend a lot of time wondering why I am this way, and what I have in common with other AB's. I don't mind the fact that I love diapers and regression, but I dislike the fact that I'm so insecure and unstable and feel so different from other people and have less than stellar social skills. I have noticed that most other AB's I know struggle with similar issues and I wonder if 'normal' people do that too. Or is it really just us?
    I don't know really. I guess we all feel a little bit different I guess. Maybe more so because of how society as a whole treats us. In the end this is as normal as finding a book or a good movie or a glass of wine to relax with. We just choose nappies and dummies as well as them.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Albasion View Post
    We're an odd bunch, probably more likely to be autistic, to develop psychiatric disorders including, but not limited to, depression, and more likely to have other kinks or deviant 'hobbies'. That's not surprising; there had to be a reason why we are into diapers and stuff like that. It's not something you were born with and for many people I've met a specific traumatic event can be linked with their paraphilia.
    I don't think this is true about most ABDLs.

    A few years ago, BitterGrey did a survey of AB/DLs. He got over a thousand responses. Only two percent attributed their ABDL-hood to a traumatic event.

    The survey also asked respondents if they had been diagnosed with mental disorders. It didn't ask about depression, but it did ask about bipolar disorder, and it didn't find a higher prevalence than the general population. It did find a significantly higher rate of Asperger's. About 5% of respondents thought they had it, which is considerably more than the 0.7% that would be expected from a random sample of the population adjusted for gender ratio. (Apserger's is much more common in males than in females.) The survey also found a significantly higher rate of OCD, just under 8%.

    One explanation for the higher rates of OCD and Asperger's diagnosis in the survey sample is that ABDLs are more likely than other people to have these disorders. But there are other explanations. For instance, maybe ABDLs are more likely than other people to seek counseling, or to get pressured into counseling, and thus more likely to have these conditions identified. Or maybe it's significant that BitterGrey's sample was drawn from Internet communities. It wouldn't surprise me if Asperger's and OCD were over-represented in most Internet communities.

    Regardless, a large majority of the ABDLs in BitterGrey's survey did not report having been diagnosed with any mental disorder. (The survey specifically excluded unipolar depression. But the prevalence of depression in the American general population is really high.)

    Trauma and Exposure Among AB/DLs
    Other Conditions Prevalent Among AB/DLs



    Quote Originally Posted by Albasion View Post
    Also, there's the fact that I don't know as much personal stuff from most friends outside of the AB/DL scene. I mean, they may very well be even more f**ed up inside, without the outside world ever knowing. Who knows...
    I think this is a very sharp insight. For a lot of us, ABDL-hood is our most closely guarded secret. When you meet someone you're able to share what you consider your darkest secret, it becomes a lot easier to share other secrets with that person. So when ABDLs meet, I think a lot of feel free to share details of our lives that we wouldn't ordinarily share with new acquaintances.

    If your ABDL friends seem crazier to you than the other people you know, that could be just because you know them better.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlediddysteve View Post
    I don't know really. I guess we all feel a little bit different I guess. Maybe more so because of how society as a whole treats us. In the end this is as normal as finding a book or a good movie or a glass of wine to relax with. We just choose nappies and dummies as well as them.
    But everybody watches movies and reads books and drinks a glass of wine (or beer) from time to time. There's a good explanation for each of them: for the former two, getting involved in someone else's story (whether fictional or not) by reading books or watching movies temporarily takes our mind off our everyday issues. As for alcohol, that's simply the most commonly used and widely accepted recreational drug out there. Obviously it relaxes us and it feels like a temporary solution to a lot of everyday problems.

    So surely, there must be a reason why we relax with diapers and pacifiers, a practice that is severely less common. Society generally has difficulty accepting it, but that's not the problem I'm addressing here. Our brains must be wired in a special way for this to become such a vital source of relaxation, and it must be influenced by both nature and nurture. How did this happen, and is there a link with the emotional instability I mentioned earlier?

    --edit--

    Buridan, thank you for your insight! That's kind of what I was hoping for. So according to that research, there's no real reason to assume that we are in some way more 'f**ed up' than 'normal' people, right?

  7. #7

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    Everyone has weird aspects about them. But some people, like me, are just more eccentric than others. Perhaps being eccentric in the first place makes a person more easily accept and indulge in ab/ dl activities.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Albasion View Post
    But everybody watches movies and reads books and drinks a glass of wine (or beer) from time to time. There's a good explanation for each of them: for the former two, getting involved in someone else's story (whether fictional or not) by reading books or watching movies temporarily takes our mind off our everyday issues. As for alcohol, that's simply the most commonly used and widely accepted recreational drug out there. Obviously it relaxes us and it feels like a temporary solution to a lot of everyday problems.

    So surely, there must be a reason why we relax with diapers and pacifiers, a practice that is severely less common. Society generally has difficulty accepting it, but that's not the problem I'm addressing here. Our brains must be wired in a special way for this to become such a vital source of relaxation, and it must be influenced by both nature and nurture. How did this happen, and is there a link with the emotional instability I mentioned earlier?
    There may well be. For me I wasn't fully toilet trained until I was seven during that time my parents split up so maybe I used nappies for comfort. I liked them even then.
    It may also be nature, I bet most people would find dummies comfortable due to the fact sucking on a nipple or nipple shaped object is technically natural and would stop us from crying (i.e. wanting food) as babies.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Albasion View Post
    Buridan, thank you for your insight! That's kind of what I was hoping for. So according to that research, there's no real reason to assume that we are in some way more 'f**ed up' than 'normal' people, right?
    I think that's right. There's some evidence that some mental disorders (Asperger's, OCD) are more prevalent among ABDLs, but it's inconclusive. Even if these disorders are more prevalent, only a small minority of us have them. I think it's pretty clear that for most of us, our ABDL-hood is not caused by trauma or mental illness.

  10. #10

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    I don't know if its really linked to emotional instability (Not directly at least), considering that I am really one of the most emotionally and mentally stable people I know. I do have a few blind guesses for what it could be.

    Do you think it possible that some of us were taken out of childhood to early? Or skipped over some experience that we now want.? I'm not implying that ABDL's had a bad childhood, but possibly missed, skipped, or got taken out of a ABDL like period of there lives. To clarify "taken out to early" could easily mean having to move past the best part of your life because society demanded it. Even if you needed and wanted to stay there.... (ex. going to a daycare as apposed to staying at home.) This could also be something such as... (Wanting a simpler time because your life is hard and stressful.) An example of "missing" a part of there childhood I have is the following. (Going to a daycare with a bunch of mean people I don't get along leads to... Not having social playtime with others at an early age leading to.... wanting a close, playful, relationship with someone sub consciously as its something that you want as part of your babyhood but never got. Even if you got it during a later stage of life.) Basically, small things can create these sub-conscious desires. I believe all people have some of these, just that there may be other influences that make it stronger in ABDL's, and sometimes These small things are enough to spark an Interest without exposure (I had no trigger that got me into diapers when I was 3.)

    It probably takes more then missing out on a small part of ones childhood. It seems that a lot of ABDL's hang out with an odd crowed (based on the observations of others.) one of the reasons for this may be a mental illness, I know it can prevent some social relationships and it is relativity common in ABDL's. I am not saying this is how it is for everyone, but something like that could put you in "an odd crowd". and most people of these crowds tend to be more accepting of these things, because they have to accept weird things in others. (Just so I don't mislead anyone "weird things" are anything that would make someone hang out with the people who aren't in the popular crowed, Including free will." accepting something weird in someone else, opens the door for you to accept something weird, from the outside or within your self, Including those sub conscious ABDL desires.

    Being from an odd crowed and being exposed to Diapers can be enough to spark interest. I've seen a lot of this on 4chan......(which apparently no one goes to on here, seriously its only in my interests I would think at least a few.... but i digress.) I hear a lot of posts like "why boner." or "Damn it 4chan I don't need a new fetish." 4chan tends to have, almost exclusively, people of an odd crowed. So it makes sense that people could get into Diapers from exposure, espeshily when you already had those Hidden ABDL desires like most people. Maybe everyone has a AB side, of a furry side, or a Girl side, or a gay side, or anything, Only we never noticed or it was too small to matter. with acceptance and the right exposure you can find it even with out the previous urges.

    Granted a lot of the stuff in 4chan would be finding girls in diapers hot.

    And exposer doesn't have to be to ABDL directly, I've heard of a lot of stories where needing to go into diapers, or seeing a diaper change, was the spark.

    There are probably other reasons as well. I may be completely wrong.

    and I'm sorry If I just said something really stupid, I'm not a psychologist, I don't know this community very well, and I have a tendency to make an ass of myself of places like this so if I said something absolutely and utterly Idiot I'm sorry. Still posting as I think I might have some good ideas.
    Last edited by SicartheaSpikefan; 22-Jun-2013 at 01:07. Reason: Hard to read in some area's, just trying to clarify everything

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