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Thread: Finding a Safe Place.

  1. #1

    Default Finding a Safe Place.

    I have seen a few post on how we handle Stress.

    I have see a few post about Abuse.

    So I need to share some of My story. Just how is a kid suppose to handle stress.
    I was the kid who all ways got Bullied. The kid who sat alone on the play ground. The Boy who cried . The school even called me Emotionally Impaired. Why because I showed Emotions.

    Don't ask why but I could never tell any one about the abuse because I was afraid of getting more. They were belt beatings from my Dad. I was between the ages of 9 and 12. I would wear long pants in the summer to hide the welts on my legs. I would not get dressed for gym class for the same reason.

    The friends I did make were always younger than me.

    I was a scared kid that had a big secret I didn't want anyone to know. I just wanted to go back to a time were I was safe, with out getting hurt. At night I would pretend to my self that I was a baby again and that made me feel safe. That is when my bed wetting started. Even got a few beatings over that.

    For some reason that scared kid is still with me. Only now I think we are protecting each other. The beatings are long ago history, things of the long forgotten past. But that scared little kid still takes me a safe and secure place when I need to go there. I can't explain why but seems there was a part of me that never grew up.

    We each have our own ways of dealing with stress and hurts.

  2. #2


    that's really upset me reading this i don't even know what to right . big hugs from little leo

  3. #3


    I am sorry to hear of your turmoil growing up. No one should ever have to bear that kind of pain, uncertainty, or abuse.

    You are right. These memories never fully leave our minds. Any type of childhood trauma is engrained in our psyche. It forges who we are inside but some of these characteristics are noble ones. We learn the value of pain and emotion and the consequences of trauma. Some are difficult to deal with at times especially when we recall specifics out of memory and wish them to be different. But, as the past is the past, we can learn to be comfortable with who we are and can even silently let go of what we wish.

    You state an interesting thing about "a part of me that never grew up". This is inherently true for anyone. Parts of us will always reside in desiring things that we desired or sought comfort in as children. Our propensities for favorites were developed at a young age and stick with us throughout our lives. There is no shame in it.

    There is a difference in how we present ourselves daily to the world around us and how we desire to spend our free-time. For instance we may feel more comfortable amongst friends or loved ones than we do around co-workers or aquaintances. It is our different level of comfort zones.

    Here you certainly aren't alone. I'm sure we could all reveal times where we felt victimized, ridiculed, ostrasized, or embarassed beyond belief. The severity may differ but here there is no judgement.

    Thanks for posting.

  4. #4


    You are not alone! Your post reminds me a lot of what I went through as a child and how I dealt with the abuse and bullying.

    I often seek out that safety and security (I have since I was a young kid), especially when I experience conflict or stress. I had a really bad experience last Sunday (a week ago) that brought back the pain of being bullied for years, and this has resulted in a tough week with lots of regression.

    I suspect the pain and effects of the abuse never fully go away because it is part of what has shaped some of us. Most of the time I do ok but there are those times that force me to realize that I am still that scared kid that just longs for the safety of a much earlier time in life.

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