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Thread: How to overcome my shyness?

  1. #1

    Default How to overcome my shyness?

    So today at the community college I've recently started going to, I passed a group of maybe 6, 7 people sitting under a tree. They looked like they could be cool people, people that could be into my type of thing (and by that I mean music wise). I felt like a brick wall was between me and them, and that it was impossible to climb. I just kept on walking, it would have been awkward just to stand and stare. Can anybody help? I dont have any friends really since I moved here and its really starting to take a toll

  2. #2

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    Boy I wish I could say the same thing, however I was the direct opposite.

    You did the first step. The next step is a little more difficult.

    Next time you see one of those people, just say "hi" and see where it goes from there. If you see the group again then just say "Hi". If they respond then one of two actions would be appropriate, keep walking and the next time stop and talk, or stop this time and ask a neutral question like "Do you guys like (basic topic) and see what goes on.

    It took me a long time to get to that point of conversation without just barging in and start talking.

    Good luck.

  3. #3

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    Talking out of the blue to a group of people who are already established as friends really doesn't work. You need to find yourself in the right social situation. If you are taking music classes, strike up conversations with fellow musicians. This really applies in classroom situations as well, though not during the class, but before and after. You sometimes have to be in the right place and time, but those times happen.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Talking out of the blue to a group of people who are already established as friends really doesn't work. You need to find yourself in the right social situation. If you are taking music classes, strike up conversations with fellow musicians. This really applies in classroom situations as well, though not during the class, but before and after. You sometimes have to be in the right place and time, but those times happen.
    Well I'm really only taking a one-on-one instruction course right now, but in the fall I will actually be in a classroom, sitting next to people who have the same interests as me. Weird thing is I used to be extrovert instead of a introvert but now its just the opposite.

  5. #5

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    Check this out:

    Amazing live acoustic guitar solo by Estas Tonne. [VIDEO]

    This is one of the most amazing solos I have ever had the pleasure of listening to/watching. This artist gets out there (with the help of incense) and gets lost in the piece.

    I hope this serves as a form of motivational piece. Recognition can spread with a display of talent in such small forums of audience.

    I often look to the 'great's' for inspiration. There is a certain element they possess that I wish to learn. If it can be recognized, learned, and applied through practice then it may lead to a level of success in aspired goals.

    I once chose to paint in a public setting live (acrylic on canvas) to promote a painting class I was conducting at a local art shop. I was nearly shitting myself setting up for the demo. But once I got into my painting the whole world melted away. I was even unaware of the time that elapsed. I glanced around to the occasional audience but have little recollection of it. Afterward I was as high as a kite. It is perhaps the element of stepping outside of our perceived comfort zone and just allowing our craft to happen. No one ever acheived success by being entirely comfortable.

    Let it out!
    Last edited by ilostthesheriff; 20-Jun-2013 at 11:57.

  6. #6

    Default

    just be you and im shore you will make lots of friends. good luck

  7. #7

    Default

    I know it sounds lame or maybe too obvious, but joining an interest group, even a Facebook group might be a good starter. There must be some, hey. Or be really adventurous and start a page you could end up with heaps of interest, especially if its focused on music.

  8. #8

    Default

    Just cold approaching a group of people is pretty damn awkward. Some people can do that, even successfully, but for most that's pretty hard to pull off.

    You need to get into a situation where people are expected to mix. Most colleges have regular social events (usually centered around the ancient and noble art of drinking way too much..) and small interest groups. Get involved in that stuff! It's a big part of the experience.

    Interest groups in particular are really great because with a common interest it gives you something to talk about when breaking the ice. It's a really good way to make friends without it being insanely awkward.

  9. #9

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    Have they got clubs you can join? Outside of the classroom this will be your best bet for friends and because you're all united by a common interest it can be easier to start up conversations with those people. If you're not in a classroom yet then just wait until you are and say hi to the person who sits next to you on day one, don't judge people based on their looks though because you never know what said person is actually like until they open their mouths. If you don't necessarily hit it off with them then sit somewhere else the next day and repeat.

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