I have been happily married for six years now, and I always thought my sexual relationship with my wife to be below average, for underlying reasons of malnutrition, and myself and my partner being out of shape.
I'm not very educated in the psychology of sex or how nutrition exactly affects the sex drive, but I'm convinced obviously there is a huge relation. After all sexual arousal, attraction, and drive is a human emotion triggered by many things involving hormones, and when the body is out of shape, such as being very overweight, the brain does not function at its best.
My wife and I both are obese per the weight charts, and although we both honestly profess to be attracted to one another still, both of us individually admit openly to each other that we each do not find our own selves to be attractive, and are absolutely not proud of our own appearance.
That being said, I have always had a sexual attraction to diapers, and wearing them, for the physical sensation. Soft, silkly fluffy material, et cetera. I always have the desire to see my wife in a diaper or let me diaper her as a way of flirtatious foreplay, but she has a great aversion to it especially due to a few minutes of a documentary she saw once on TV regarding adult babies. She said she found it a bit creepy and disturbing, and although I informed her I'm just attracted to the diapers and phsyical feeling itself, she has that mental block due to what she has seen of that behavior.
That too being said, I ask her often if there are any fantasies or preferences or desires she has that she might tell me as I'm willing to oblige or branch out to expand our sex life, however she tells me as often as I ask - she has none. Although married for six years, and both of us having been virgins before we married, I would have though after six years of marriage, getting kinky with diapers would be far from taboo and we'd be much closer that for her to be nervous about it - much less her denying any fantasies to be had at all!
This saddens me and I feel as if the next step would be to see a sexual therapist or couples psychologist to see if there are other issues that would be stopping a woman in her late 20's from having any sexual urges, fantasies - as well as being "in the mood" as seldom as once every two months.
The more I think about it though, I keep thinking back to simple basics.... the act of sex is both a very intimate and very physically demanding act, and if both couples in a marriage are obese, it takes a lot out of you physically, and we are often sore, uncomfortable and in substantial muscle pain afterward. The number one thing I would suspect before even trying sexual therapist / psychology would probably be quite logical - for us to both get in shape!
After all, if the body is not in great shape, the brain can't function nearly as efficiently as there is obvious nutrient deprivation going on. I have been told that it's a possibility that since my wife is also on birth control pills, that a side effect may in fact also be a severely stifled sex drive. Is that indeed true?
Any thoughts / comments / suggestions by chance?
I would never even consider leaving my wife just because of a sexual preference, but we would both like to feel more comfortable with one another and grow closer together. There's just a big blockade here.