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Thread: Coping with AB/DL?

  1. #1

    Question Coping with AB/DL?

    I thought I would share my thoughts with you guys,

    Being a DL or AB is confusing at times this community has helped me a lot and many others in accepting are weird fetish and how to integrate it into our lives in a healthy way
    This fetish means different things for a lot of people and helps In a lot of ways with their everyday lives like a stress helper,
    I personally have issues with this fetish I’ve tried hard to understand what this fetish is for me and I know it’s a stress helper because whenever I’m stressed the fetish will come into play but once I’m ok after a week or two I’m back to normal life and I guess that’s the whole binge and purge cycle and even though I have accepted this fetish in a way I can’t help to feel it to be a burden or a hindrance it seems like it takes hold of me like a spell and makes me do things I wouldn’t normally do almost like it’s a whole other part of me I’m happy and at the time I feel like everything is a good idea like wetting the bed and wearing diapers and wetting them and telling myself that this time I will become a real life bedwetter the thought of wetting the bed and being a kid that dose so is so arousing its crazy as I said it’s like a spell and then two weeks go past and its over the idea of becoming a bedwetter go’s the thought of wearing diapers go and im left there thinking wtf the spell has broken and I guess that’s the binge and purge cycle but is it healthy
    I mean I feel sometimes like I need to see someone about this just to talk and get it sorted in my head I mean it’s hard for me because I’m very keep my feeling to myself kind of guy and the idea of therapy is like I’m weak or something, I guess some people cope with this better than others I worry about my future with this fetish and of what people will think if I ever did share this secret with them.

    Just talking to people that have been through the same things as me helps a lot I have never met a real life AB/DL so it’s hard to not feel alone but I know I’m not because of this great community would be great to hear how you cope with this and if any of you went to therapy to sort it out in your head or you are thinking of doing so just wish I had a friend in real life that was the same as me

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Soul93 View Post
    I thought I would share my thoughts with you guys,

    Being a DL or AB is confusing at times this community has helped me a lot and many others in accepting are weird fetish and how to integrate it into our lives in a healthy way
    This fetish means different things for a lot of people and helps In a lot of ways with their everyday lives like a stress helper,
    I personally have issues with this fetish I’ve tried hard to understand what this fetish is for me and I know it’s a stress helper because whenever I’m stressed the fetish will come into play but once I’m ok after a week or two I’m back to normal life and I guess that’s the whole binge and purge cycle and even though I have accepted this fetish in a way I can’t help to feel it to be a burden or a hindrance it seems like it takes hold of me like a spell and makes me do things I wouldn’t normally do almost like it’s a whole other part of me I’m happy and at the time I feel like everything is a good idea like wetting the bed and wearing diapers and wetting them and telling myself that this time I will become a real life bedwetter the thought of wetting the bed and being a kid that dose so is so arousing its crazy as I said it’s like a spell and then two weeks go past and its over the idea of becoming a bedwetter go’s the thought of wearing diapers go and im left there thinking wtf the spell has broken and I guess that’s the binge and purge cycle but is it healthy
    I mean I feel sometimes like I need to see someone about this just to talk and get it sorted in my head I mean it’s hard for me because I’m very keep my feeling to myself kind of guy and the idea of therapy is like I’m weak or something, I guess some people cope with this better than others I worry about my future with this fetish and of what people will think if I ever did share this secret with them.

    Just talking to people that have been through the same things as me helps a lot I have never met a real life AB/DL so it’s hard to not feel alone but I know I’m not because of this great community would be great to hear how you cope with this and if any of you went to therapy to sort it out in your head or you are thinking of doing so just wish I had a friend in real life that was the same as me
    It's normal for your ab/ dl feelings to come and go. The binge-purge cycle is more like if you start to feel bad about your activities and decide to stop. Binging and purging is a sign that you have not accepted this side of yourself.

    Being ab/ dl can make your life a little tougher, but I wouldn't call it a burden. It's a special, beautiful part of who you are as an individual. As long as you can manage your desires, indulging them but not letting them rule your life, you'll be OK.

    Again, don't worry if your desires come and go. Enjoy them when they're there, and don't fret when they leave for awhile.

  3. #3

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    Sometimes I think what the problem really is with all this is the pre-occupation and patterns of rumination. It's not the ABDL stuff that is upsetting your brain. You're feeling upset because your brain won't let it go because you have not accepted the idea that you can be a good healthy person and also be ABDL. So you worry a lot. That circles back. You look at yourself, a wreck for a while with all this worry and stress, and you think about how mentally unhealthy you are. When you think about what started it all, you think it was the ABDL paraphernalia or just the fact that you are ABDL to begin with. But what REALLY started this all was the first seeds of self-doubt.

    If you can learn to accept your weird little self, things are going to be a lot better for you. Once I accepted myself, the binge purge cycles ended. I have a few things I cherish, but not an over abundance of supplies. I act little sometimes, but not in a way that interferes with the rest of my life. (For me, it's maybe once a week or once every two weeks. For others, it could be a little more or less than me, but generally far far less than people who are in a binge cycle.) Once you stop obsessing over the whole idea of being ABDL, your playtime will be more fun and no longer guilt-ridden. You will balance yourself out. You will find that happy medium. But most importantly, if you accept yourself, you have your own love back. That's a really important thing to have. Ultimately you're stuck with yourself for the rest of your life so you might as well be your own best friend. Be as forgiving to yourself as you would be with a child.

    Seeing a therapist doesn't make you any more weak than a person with a broken arm visiting the hospital for a cast. I have never once heard of anyone truly getting rid of this desire. So there's only one thing to do; be okay with it. If you feel you need professional help to learn to be okay with it, then by all means seek it out. Not all therapists (or people in general) know what they're talking about, though, especially about topics like ABDLism. So you may have to try harder to find one that suits your needs. Perhaps a sex therapist? I have never tried it myself, but I imagine they'd be more versed in topics like this even if it isn't a sexual fetish for you personally.

    One thing I noticed was that you said "I'm back to normal life" when you weren't doing ABDL activities. What you need to work towards is realizing that your normal life could easily involve this. It isn't normal for most people; but it could be part of your normal life. (As it is a part of my normal life.) Try and not distinguish the binge as bad and the purge as good. Both are bad, in my opinion. One side is over-indulging and one side is neglecting your needs. You aren't bad for doing it, though. Most of us have! It would just be amazing for your life and your happiness if you could realize that it's a part of you - it isn't the one thing that defines you. And it certainly doesn't make you a bad person by any means.

  4. #4

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    Self acceptance is a hard thing I think the biggest issue is it clashes with my personality and the fear of how this will work in the future it feel like a weakness like a vulnerable side of me that if others find out will destroy me I sometimes do care to much on what other people think of me I have a very stronger outer shell and this just doesn’t fit in it’s the way it makes me feel most of the time like a love/hate relationship with my inner me I guess I just need to think on things a bit and try and work it out in my head.

    But thank you for your kind help I just got to work on it.

  5. #5

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    Well,

    Although I've had ic issues forever...so, I'm a bit different...

    Anyhow, I know when I was twenty, I was working, living in chicago...and was introduced to this new ab thing from a gf...

    It was hard, I liked it, but I was the strong manly man and it also clashed with my manly persona...

    I always tried to be the strongest and go to person for any issue, over compensating cause of my issues with ic and others I know now!

    Anyhow, with this gf the ab thing was explored, and it ended up breaking us up...I wasn't ready to allow my manly man persona take a hit like this...and wouldn't let myself really accept the fact that it was wonderful...

    So, anyhow, I ended up breaking up, in fact leaving Chicago all together...

    Spent the next ten plus years keeping up the manly man persona...

    Well, now after all is said and done, I'm comfortable with both the manly and not so manly parts of myself...

    It takes time...lots of time...and you need to get to a point in your life that your comfortable with doing what you really want as opposed to keeping up a false persona...

    Now, with this in mind for me it took a whole lot of things to get into place...

    I needed to be financially ok, stable friends, and find a woman that is as comfortable as I am...

    Even then we have broken up, moved across country from one another, but we both know we belong together and need to work out everything...

    As of now, I own my own house, have pretty much everything I need or want, and albeit a bit broken from a car accident , comfortable with most all myself...but still not quite all...there is still a bit of hesitation to look in these deep dark corners of my soul...

    Anyhow, just hang in there, play it day by day, and know that sooner or later you will be comfortable with yourself and be better for it...

    At this time in my life I have many regrets, but very little I'd go back and change if I could...every thing I've done both good and bad are parts of me and if I hadn't done those things I wouldn't be the person I am today...

    So, keep plugging away and know with every hard time it will get better in the end...

    B

  6. #6

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    Lovely points being made in this thread.

    Its also important to maintain your balance when participating in this, especially if this is a sexual thing.
    Discipline works for me, and i allow myself to indulge in this once or twice a week, never exceeding this or else guilt creeps in.

    It took me many months to find my 'normal' with this and im happy being DL for the first time in my life, and homoeostasis has been achieved.

    Find your normal Soul93, i think you deprive yourself a little too long then your yearning interferes with your quality of life.
    Make a day in the a week your diaper indulgence day, and stick with it, this routine will be your norm and might make things easier then fighting the urge all the time.
    I use a Saterday night from 7PM till 10AM the next morning and it really helps and gives me something to look forward too.

    I recommend you do see somebody about this but not so that you can stop, because i believe that its a setup to failure.
    If you are uncomfortable about this you can always try out something that works for you so acceptance can kick in, and this is less of a problem for you.

    You will accept this in time, i believe this challenge in your life has a solution built in, you just need to find it.

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